Coffee with Jesus

Jesus and a woman are talking about the end times. The woman says that the Mayans predicted this year. Jesus says they ran out of room on their calendar and to enjoy life. The woman says, so maybe we should just live each day as if it were our last? And Jesus says, “If you knew today was your last, you’d be curled up in the fetal position with a bottle of whiskey, crying and babbling. So no. Just live. 

Found on Facebook.

Renaissance women are XXX SUPER HOT XXX

Forget the pinup girls and the models of today, let’s get our collective libidos glaring red hot with some Renaissance heat.

I love this take on the “When did this … become hotter than this?” meme.

And Jude wins the 300K contest!

I just received the screen capture above from Jude.

He’s the lucky winner of the 300,000th hit award … erhm, the 300,184th hit award!

For a while there I was thinking I would to change the contest to the 300,185th hit award.

Phew. Crises averted.

Jude will have to choose from his very own copy of “Jubei Ninpucho” or an image of mine framed and delivered to his doorstep.

Damn, I didn’t think a foreigner would win. Now I have to pay international postage rates to get the prize out.

Where were you Americans during this one!?!

Friday words of advice

Graphic of sweet looking dog reads, “Be the person your dog thinks you are.”

Via I have seen every great graphic on the Internet

Here comes the bride, all tacked up in white saddles and stirrups

Well, spit to the ding, if gays can marry … that means people are going to marry horses and zebras.

It is a logical conclusion.

Spit ding.

Scientists find tulip-like fossil that God wanted to hide from everyone until 2012

Or maybe scientists found a tulip-like fossil that Satan buried to confuse people to accepting an old Earth theory.

That crafty Satan and his fossil hiding.

Whatever the case, check out this awesome discovery.

A bizarre creature that lived in the ocean more than 500 million years ago has emerged from the famous Middle Cambrian Burgess Shale in the Canadian Rockies

Officially named Siphusauctum gregarium, fossils reveal a tulip-shaped creature that is about the length of a dinner knife (approximately 20 centimetres or eight inches) and has a unique filter feeding system.

Siphusauctum has a long stem, with a calyx – a bulbous cup-like structure – near the top which encloses an unusual filter feeding system and a gut. The animal is thought to have fed by filtering particles from water actively pumped into its calyx through small holes. The stem ends with a small disc which anchored the animal to the seafloor. Siphusauctum lived in large clusters, as indicated by slabs containing over 65 individual specimens.

Via TYWKIWDBI

UPDATED: Be the 300,000th hit and win your chance at awesomeness

Le Café Witteveen is ramjamthankyoumamin’ toward 300,000 hits.

The person who lands on the site and gets a screen capture of the ticker reading 300,000 — without photoshopping it — gets their very own, slightly used, top-of-the-line, VHS copy of “Jubei Ninpucho” a brilliant Manga film that I’ve never watched.

I take it back. They get a choice.

They could opt for the above, very awesome video, or a framed photo of an image I’ve taken of their choice. Signed, dated, and wrapped in a 7/11 plastic bag, sent to their home, and doted on by all your guests and probably your mother who will hound you for not being successful like that Witteveen boy.

So be sure to refresh until you’re the 300,000th hit.

And you’ll win the prize.

Email me the screen caps here. If no one lands the 300,000 mark, I’ll take the closest person to go over. So if it’s 300,001, they win!

But it won’t be as glorious as the 300,000 person.

****UPDATE****

I failed to mention that the counter is over to the right.

And we clearly passed 300,000 and no one has won yet. The prize is still up for grabs.

Go get ‘em, tiger!

Hipstamatic Wait! Wait! Don’t tell me. Seriously

Tina an I are at a rockstar taping of Wait wait … Don’t tell me.

We have VIP seats thanks to our friend Jessica.

Can’t wait to meet Carl kasell.

Headline out of context

nakedpastor: We Both Go Down Together

Via Friendly Atheist

Why so serious, Mr. Nicholson?

Image of someone asking Jack Nicholson for an autograph on a photo of the Heath Ledger Joker. 

Via Facebook