Lie on My Couch — for FREE!!

Everyone exhibits some kind of neurosis sometimes. This guy I knew growing up checked the lock on his gym locker so many times it was like he was milking a cow teat. He’d leave the locker room, and have to return or look back to make sure it was locked. Oddly enough, we went to a “christian” school. Why did we need locks in the first place? It was always a scandal when someone’s wallet was stolen. I found it incredibly ironic that locks were necessary.

One of my neurotic synapse misfires is a sort of turrets. There are triggers that make me say a phrase, like, “I love you.” I don’t know it until it’s out of my mouth. One of the triggers is a train passing, which is often, because the CTA Red and Purple lines run through my backyard. I think my subconscious has the feeling no one is listening. I’ve done it since I was little. When I mowed a lawn, the sound of the engine would sort of cover up my voice. I could say what I wanted.

I obsess over locked doors at night. I also obsess over my own heartbeat, because it scares me when I’m still. The more I think about it, the more my mind mistakes it for something ominous. It’s bizarre. It makes sleeping very difficult.

I have more, that I am unable to think of right now. I’ll add them if I think of them.

What’s your OCD or neural issue of choice?

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