Hey Bats, Spit, Swallow or Pearl Necklace?

Ladies and gentlemen, nothing says I love you like a swallower. Fellatio is not fellatio without it … erhm, unless you’re shooting fallatio for porn. Then it’s all over the face and chest in a gooey, spermatozoa-, protein- and fructose-rich mess.

But when it comes to bats, they integrate some convoluted form of fellatio into their wacky upside-down amorous routines. According to this article, they (parenthetical comments mine) “Female bats often lick their mate’s penis during dorsoventral copulation (bat version of doggy style, but hanging upside down). The female lowers her head to lick the shaft (hell yeah!)or the base of the male’s penis but does not lick the glans penis which has already penetrated the vagina.”

I’d really like to start working out (or have Tina workout) to be able to work this into our bedroom business transactions. You have to go to this link to download the video to see what I’m talking about. I started to get excited watching it, and might use it soon for autosexual gratification tomorrow or Saturday.

Yes, it’s that hot.

I’m changing my middle name to Bonobo.

BonoboBonobos are another animal that enjoys fellatio. Bonobos are one of our common ancestors who exhibit the loosest amorous activities, most like humans. Well, most like sexually-stifled Republicans during their clandestine sex romps. But it’s also most like decent sexually-honest, normal people. Bonobos exhibit lots of sex with lots of partners, even same sex sex. And they appear to enjoy sex, opposed to dogs, and most Republicans, who look like their grinding through sex like it’s another day at the metal-working plant, bonobos LOVE sex.

To break it down, they dig girl on girl, guy on guy, guy on girl on guy. They french kiss. They sodomize. They bump muffins. They eat out. They eat in. They spit. They swallow. They probably even do foot fetish.

(Thanks to fucking fellating Sunny Lee for the link)

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