The Offline Social Network (HUNGRY BEAST)

Two guys walking around asking people the same questions they get asked when they sign up to Facebook. Will hilarity ensue? You betcha!

Via 

Overheard in the gym locker room this morning

This morning I heard the following conversation:

Guy 1: “Did you see Brides Maids yet?”

Guy 2: “I might go see it today.”

Guy 1: “I saw it last night.”

Guy 2: “With who?”

Guy 1: “With Keith.”

Guy 2: “What did you think?”

Guy 1: “It was okay. It wasn’t as funny as the Hangover. It was a lot of girl humor. You know, bitchy and shit.”

Guy 2: “Oh, it was. That sucks. Should I see it?”

Guy 1: “I don’t know. It’s that girl humor and girl specific jokes. You know, it’s all the reasons why I don’t … why I don’t do women.”

Laughter.

End scene.

The irony it burns

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Church marquee sign says:

“Ridgewood Christian Reformed Church … Truth is. Lies are invented.”

I found the image at reddit, where I found the one below.  And while I thought the bitchiness of it is unnecessary, it’s a good message.

Misery is Rain’s best friend

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Yesterday I shot a commencement ceremony for a local engineering college. The weather was miserable.

Earlier this week we had 80 degree weather. Driving along Lake Shore Drive on Tuesday and Thursday, you could see women laying out in Bikinis.

Friday morning, it was gorgeous. Talulah and I did our morning routine. I had short sleeves on. Talulah likes to run naked.

Friday afternoon, it almost snowed.

And Saturday morning, it was short of freezing and rainy.

But when you’re a class of 600 people, and you’ve each invited 5 loved ones, there’s not a lot of indoor arenas large enough to hold everyone. So outside it is.

I really hate this kind of work. You know, where you have to go around being happy go lucky and tell complete strangers they should look at the camera and smile.

But I did it anyway, despite the weather and despite that I hate it. Because a shutterbug whore is what I am.

The best part of the week was at the rehearsal for the event. The rehearsal was on a stage in a theater. All the engineering professors and the dean of students were there. One of the geeky, sciency professors was telling the rest of the geeky, sciency professors that everything will go smoothly. Don’t worry about which hand shakes which hand and which hand grabs the diploma. Don’t  worry about kids that don’t shake your hand for religious reasons. Don’t worry about mispronouncing one of the many foreign students’ names.

He said, “It’ll be easy. Just like Quantum Physics.”

And laughed with the rest of them.

And then another professor said, “You mean it’ll be a paradox.”

I raised up both hand high above my head and screamed, “SCORE!!!” And then I ran around the stage slapping everyone five while laughing just before lifting that  professor on my shoulder like Tiny Tim and throwing him off the stage where the mosh pit would be if there were a concert.

I probably shouldn’t have beefed up that punchline. It did make me laugh, and I told Tina about it as she shook her head saying, “You were at home with the geeks.”

After that, I retired to my room after that and studied calculus for the night.