Otto the flying dog

Ta-dah!

Via

While I was over at “I have seen the Whole of the Internet, I’m not quite sure now I missed this REALLY pregnant lady.

Monteism: Off the Eatin’ Path with Monte

Today, Tina and I shot a 10-second spot with local celebrity and one-named artist Monte. Here’s his web site where you can learn about all kinds of restaurants that you probably would never think to go, but should.

Cat spreads gospel to the chair kingdom

This cat is so zealous that she’s willing to proselytize chairs. And wouldn’t you know it … she was successful converting them. They’re all saved!

Photo of cat lying on chairs. Text says: Nope. They’re saved. They’re all saved. All of them. That one too. 

Via

Did you see what I did there? 

Judgment Day ad nauseam

Yesterday I was driving with my brother-in-law and Tina. We passed a bus with the judgement day warning on the side. I flipped out.

“In Chicago! Really! How fucking awful!”

And then I had to tell Tina and Michael the story, because they don’t give a rat’s ass about the end of the world, and have seen very little on the subject.

“There’s a guy who spent $140,000 of his life savings on advertising the May 21 rapture,” I told them. Did you know about that? Here’s the story.

This morning, I woke up at 5:15 and thought, “I don’t know if I know why they think this is rapture week.”

So I googled it on my phone, and found this web site. What I found was that I was bored by its rationale. And by bored, I mean critical, judgmental and outright frightened by this group’s stupidity.

I’m not going to write too much detail. People have been talking about this to the point of cliché. I probably don’t have any great additional contributory ideas.

In case you don’t know (which I didn’t until this morning), May 21, 2011 is — according to this group of imbeciles — is exactly 7,000 years since the date of Noah’s flood. Well, not exactly. It’s a year off. But you know, they didn’t have zeros in bible times so you have to subtract one year from the equation. So 4,990 + 2011 – 1 = 7,000. And in biblespeak, 1 day is to 1,000 years. And there’s some bullshit about 7 days until the end.

So forget the fact that GOD should have known that zero existed back then because he supposed to be all knowing. And forget that the Bible … if it’s true … says no one knows the date of the end. And forget the fact that there is absolutely no scientific proof for a global flood in the first place. And forget the absolutely ludicrous concept that the entire population arose from 500 year old Noah and his three 480 year old sons … and you have a group of people going broke over the stupidest idea you have ever heard.

And I’m the moron writing about it and losing sleep over it.

Sunday is going to be a hilarious day barring these morons don’t all commit suicide before we get a chance to talk to them on camera.

Hobbes explains the meaning of life to Calvin

Calvin: Why do you suppose your here?

Hobbes: Because we walked here.

Calvin: No, no … I mean here on earth.

Hobbes: Because earth can support life.

Calvin: No. I mean why are we anywhere. Why do we exist?

Hobbes: Because we were born.

Calvin: Forget it.

Hobbes: I will, thank you.

The collection plate

I tend to collect a lot of things that I never post. Here are two that almost didn’t make it. I was about to delete them, but … here they are!