The sanctity of marriage! We’re pound sign one! #fail

October 31, 2011

Obvious Conclusion of the Day

The reports are in. Kim “That Money-Hungry Bitch” Kardashian’s getting a divorce after her lavish wedding 72 days ago, broadcast on E! and bolstered by all the gossip mags possible.

This fame-whore is only famous because she has a big ass, a popular dad and a contract with the devil.

And the magical history of heterosexual marriage in this country is at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

We tell the world — the universe — that we’re a one-woman/one-man kind of country that upholds the sanctity of marriage like no other.

And yet, this is a land where TV networks, TV personalities and industries can make more money off one wedding than the population of my neighborhood makes in their lifetimes.

Ryan Seacrest might have made $18 million from the event.

Why is this country fighting over gay marriage again?

Doesn’t everyone have the right to make millions off of the worthless notion of celebrity weddings in this country?

Holy matrimonial bullshit.

I’ll believe this is a one-woman/one-man kind of world when the sanctimonious corporate culture gives a shit about respecting weddings.

see more The Daily What


Disney presents The Skeleton Dance

October 31, 2011

From IMDB:

The Skeleton Dance (1929)

The night promises to be a scary one. Lightning flashes. The wind howls. A tree branch in the shape of a hand seems to grab for a frightened owl that spins its head around like a top. The clock on the church tower strikes midnight, sending the bats flying out of the belfry. Two cats on gravestones fight by pulling and stretching each other’s noses like taffy. A skeleton rises from behind a gravestone, frightening the fur off the cats. But an owl’s hooting scares it, and it retaliates by throwing its skull and knocking the bird’s feathers off. It’s time for the skeletons to dance; and they perform as no living creatures could.Written by J. Spurlin

Via Cyn C


Where is my brain today?

October 31, 2011

I meant to recommend a blog post from PZ Myers about how Hitler qualified as a True Chrsitian™ and not one of those evil atheists as believers typically pin on Hitler’s chest plate.

Read the whole article here. But here’s a snippet:

If you tuned in to that local debate on Christian radio, you know that one of the points the Christian fool trotted out was the tired old claim that the Nazis were no true Christians — no True Christian™ would ever commit such horrible acts. It’s an annoyingly feeble and unsupportable argument, but it has a lot of life in it, unfortunately.

 


Wrap me up in your weekend blanket

October 31, 2011

Pretend there’s a water cooler right there. You’re standing near it, sipping a cup, pretending to read the federal laws on minimum wage.

I walk up.

You say, “Hey, Jeremy. How was your weekend?”

And I say, “Funny thing you should ask.”

I had higher hopes for my weekend. We had a shoot in Wisconsin on Friday. I screwed up the sound on set, and now I’m working through getting that fixed. It’s a long story, and I’m hoping for a magical mystery miracle to come through from a pro-audio engineer today.

Saturday, we were going to shoot headshots. It was pushed back to Sunday. Saturday afternoon, we went to my second cousin’s birthday party. He and about 12 of his friends were romping around the house when we arrived.

Saturday night, I drove the Mistake Bus into the river by putting bad pepperonis on a pizza. I was so pissed off. I had high hopes for the pie, and low and behold I fucked that up too.

We watched two bad movies on Saturday night as well. We started with “Bridesmaids,” which had all kinds of potential, but after about an hour, I wanted to throw the TV out the window. And then I watched the most recent Transformers movie, hoping to be entertained for 2.5 hours.

I’m not sure what’s worse. Bitchy bridesmaids or thundering bad storylines with badly thought out robots.

Good news did arrive over the weekend, though. Regular-reader Luis V. and his lovely love Becky have announced their engagement (finally!). When we were in NYC, Luis and Becky told us, which we were ecstatic about. But I decided to not write about it here, until they announced it to everyone.

Over the weekend, they finally posted a photo on facebook of the ring. Tina and are so flipping happy for them, and we plan on celebrating with them next March at the wedding.

Woo-hooo!

Yesterday we ended up shooting the headshots and celebrating my brothers-in-laws’ 13th anniversary. Which I thought was much more. And I may have even published numbers ranging from 15 to 150 years.

But it’s only been 13. When we dropped them off after a nice dinner at Shaw’s Crab House, Tina and I chanted “13 more years!, 13 More Years!”

Today’s Halloween. I wish you an evil one with lots of Satanic monsters to celebrate with.

What are you doing for Halloween? At the moment, we haven’t decided what we’re doing.

Above photo is a decoration my cousin made for her son’s birthday.


Derren Brown on Religion and Morality

October 31, 2011

Read the rest of this entry »


Even scarier than the last post

October 30, 2011

I’m not sure what’s scarier, this effort to be funny or all the republican candidates for president in one place.

I apologize in advance for scaring you on different levels.

 

 


It’s almost Halloween … here are things to *scare* you.

October 30, 2011

Tomorrow is all Hallow’s eve. If Satan existed, I doubt he could scare anyone to do anything. He literally has no voice, and his perspective is brought to you by none other than believers’ books.

So how can those be accurate, anyway?

Here’s a 60-second claymation of one of my favorite movies of all time, “Evil Dead II”

Here’s a real bride texting in the middle of her marriage ceremony … boohoohahahahaha!

Here’s a Christian Haunted House video, which isn’t scary until you consider these are methods to get butts in pews:

 


I like zombie girls … who like zombie girls

October 29, 2011

I like zombie girls … who like zombie girls, like all red-blooded American men (and some women) should.

Via I have seen every man-loving zombie lesbian on the internet


What the kids are posting

October 29, 2011

Can you believe that those kids at reddit.com/r/atheism are still at it? They are still posting new ideas. It’s as if there’s an incessant babbling brook of information that they are pulling from.

Does it ever get old?

The first one, whether true or not, seems plausible. Even as metaphor, it’s effective. Click to enlarge.

 

First graphic is a representation of a scientific experiment. Five monkeys in a room with a ladder and bananas on top. Each time a monkey goes up the ladder, the other monkeys get sprayed with cold water. “Don’t miss the opportunity to share this with others as they might be asking themselves why we continue to do what we are doing if there is a different way out there. 

 

 If God had designed that His intelligent creatures should travel at the frightful speed of 15 miles an hour, by steam, He would clearly have foretold it through His holy prophets. It is a device of Satan to lead immortal souls down to hell.

 

You can tell atheists that they’re going to hell all you want, but if they cared, they wouldn’t be atheist. 

Fox news discussion between man and woman: “God watched married people have sex?” Well, god watches over everything. So we’re like porn for god? H watches us and then probably masturbates.” 

 

 

 


Christian Parents Beat Daughter to Death, Claim It Was Suicide

October 29, 2011

And for a bonus depressing and brilliant show of believers’ love, here’s a video of a gay kid getting the shit beat out of him.

The attacker got a whole three days suspension.

Christian morality = pound sign one!

Via JMG and Cynical C


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 696 other followers