This guy’s right! Jesus also failed to explain Nickelback

 

This video was posted at Friendly Atheist while I was gone. I saw it over at Atheist Media. I strongly agree that this is worth 10 minutes of your belief-heavy or belief-lacking time.

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Hipstamatic old pals

Talulah and Zoe act as though they weren’t apart for two whole weeks!

Robertson: It’s Your Fault Your Faith Healing Failed

Televangelist Pat Robertson tells viewer that it his own fault, not Robertson’s, that his faith healing didn’t work.

Or … or! … the person experienced a rush of adrenaline — from meeting his/her idol Pat Robertson and that he touched him/her — followed by a flow dopamine or brain chemical that temporarily made him or her feel better, and by the next day, the effects wore off.

Yawn.

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Well, maybe not “God” as my witness, but whatever you want, Mr. Cat

Photo of toddler holding an adult cat in a swing reads, “As God as my witness, you’ll has that cheezburger.” 

I don’t believe that little guy is old enough to know who god is. You?

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I get email … from ZDENNY!!!

You’ll never believe what one of the major memories was from our trip to Bali.

No, it wasn’t having a monkey sit on my back for almost three minutes.

No, it wasn’t staring into an active volcano.

No, it wasn’t walking through a Hindu temple built in 1,000 A.D.

Nor was it not seeing any Hindu mega-temples with big jumbo-tron screens and technology that seemed to point at the local poor people and laugh uncontrollably.

The major memory from Bali was … dum(b)! dum(b)! dum(b)! … getting a random, out-of-the-blue email from ZDENNY THUNDER!!!

All the ZDENNY and even more of the THUNDER!!!

ZDENNY was a Christian troll and blogger that almost everyone knew back during his short stint as master Christian responder on the Internets. He had a blog, a twitter account and an almost cult unfollowing of atheist bloggers — like yours truly.

I say “was” because he was so often defeated and beat down that he retired. He waved the white flag of surrender and closed his blog and twitter to “spend more time with his family.”

He was the mosquito that you swat at but never hit.

At some point, I embraced him, and let him jag off as much as he wanted on this blog.

Predictability was his specialty

ZDENNY wrote predictable things that I was taught to tell people when I was a Christian, like, “Without Jesus, you don’t know love.” “You have no morality without Jesus.”

ZDENNY was an extreme advocate for young earth creationism and reviled by evolution — also things I was taught in high school.

The email I received while in Bali was long and bold. Of course he includes a confidentiality statement on his emails, which is a complete waste of time, as it’s on a Yahoo account. Someone forgot to tell Zdenny that Yahoo accounts renders confidentiality statements, well, yahoo.

This post has become too long. I’m going to throw Zdenny’s email below the fold with my notes in red. Bon appetit!

When a man in a white horse, rides forth, and jags it off

Did you know that since Kenya is due south of Jerusalem, and that Barack Obama is the King of Kenya, and the Russians are due north, and that Whitney Houston died while numbers clicked off on a gregorian calendar and an American version of a digital clock, that billy goats will bah on the third stroke of the fourth, beer-based handmade batter for breading fish-based products at McDonald’s?

I pinky swear.

You will be pleased to know that: “Whitney Houston’s tragic death was God’s warning to America and President Obama.”

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