Wow! This explains why women don’t have hairy chests and don’t run from that dirty, old book


Gotta love this graphic from Brad over at The Revival Generation, who uses his blog to cast an uncritical eye on faith and spirituality.

It’s very man-heavy, this Brad blog.

It’s very dude centric.

Grunt, grunt. Piss. Piss.

[Insert little cartoon character with his chest puffed out and his finger pointed into the air brazenly as he says] … Because that’s what the bible says about keeping women’s mouths shut

The Revival Generation is a loving place where you can learn to teach your sons how to avoid domestic violence by teaching them to be violent. Yeah, did you know teaching boys to wrestle will prevent them from bludgeoning their wives to death?

In his post, How to Grow a Man: Father’s edition, Brad writes:

Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

And later:

We want our boys to grow up big and strong and so we feed them right, get them involved in team sports and so on, but we don’t help them to know their own strength.  One thing that does this, especially in young children, is playful wrestling with dad.

Funny, I thought teaching your kids not to be violent would work.

Boy, what do I know!

Why am I picking on Brad? Good question.

Glad you asked.

Brad thinks that God created variations in species that we’re discovering now so that God could wow mankind into not killing each other. Why do I think that?

Over at my post about the awesomeness of evolution, Brad responded:

Perhaps HE allowed us to discover it only now so we would never get bored as a human race and start killing each other even faster than we do now? and so we’d never quit searching for HIM?

In case you’re lost, like the other two thirds of the world’s population, the pronouns in all uppercase “HE” and “HIM” refer to [whispers] GOD.

Yawn.

God created creation to unfold like the petals of a flower or a bloomin’ onion at The Outback so we would get distracted from murdering our wives and killing our neighbors.

Finding see-through animals is a way that we can constantly search for HIM, right?

I mean, that hard-rock, kickass, love monsters ain’t showin’ his own mug … so he’d rather wow you with a see-through eel and a crustacean or two.

Nothing stops war — started by oppositional religions – like the discovery of Tiktaalik, aka a huge missing link between fish and land animals.

Can’t you just see the magic that could have happened just before George Double-ya sent hundreds of thousands of troops into Iraq if he would have only been made privy to the discovery of a six-legged Zebra with two heads living abundantly in Ethiopia?

Crisis averted!

Let’s all dance in the streets!

God gave us a new Zebra-thing!

But Brad says I’m the shallow one. But I don’t want to debate, argue or go to war with the guy.

Look, a flying dragon saddled by a unicorn!

Damn, dogs, you funny


Image of dog peeking over couch reads, “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I’ll be watching you”

Cartoon of grill talking to a hot dog reads, “Dawg, why you gotta be all up in my grill.” 

Image of dog at bar reads, “Yeah, I’ll have another. I’ve had a ruff day.” 

Via

Dang, Nature, you awesome (Leptocephalus)


This little invisible wormy-fishy, eel larva creature is called a Leptocephalus.

Is that not badass to see how amazingly see-through he or she is.

Organisms like this is why it’s hard to believe in a creator. So what, a designer created this on day whatever of creation, set a timer and said, “Ain’t nobody going to see it until someone ‘discovers’ it in several thousand years. How cool am I!”

Insert slap five fest with holy spirit and Jesus, aka himself. The devil looks on from afar, arms folded, sighing.

Meanwhile, this little booger is found only on one planet (that we know of) in a giganormous universe.

It makes sense in that “every culture comes up with a genesis story” and “Superman and Spiderman are plausible” kinds of mindsets.

I wish science had characters in their history. Don’t you. Maybe then 85% of this country would find evolution acceptable.

More here.

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Biodork’s impressions from Freethought Festival, WI #FTF1


Regular-reading, blogging, Peeper-deeing Biodork drove down to Madison WI from Minneapolis to attend the Freethought Festival there over the weekend.

She’s pumped up from all she saw, which is understandable. She wrote a first impressions post about it here. You should read it.

Me? I completely forgot about that conference despite my original intention to go. I picked up a coveted job this weekend that made me forget it even more.

And when Biodork emailed to say, “Why aren’t you here?” I wrote back and said, “Holyshitdamnpoop, I messed up!”

I debated driving up for Sunday’s events, but when I saw it was a three-hour drive and I needed to deliver a bunch of video files to a client, I had to nix it.

So go read her blog and let’s all make plans to meet up at the next one.

Deal?

See you next Tuesday, Pastor DL Foster



Text from “ex-gay” Pastor DL Foster reads, “The supernatural, radical, wonder working blood of Jesus is cleansing someone right now from #masturbation addiction in Jesus name #freedom.”

Just so you know, if you have a natural curiosity to touch yourself, this is evil and it needs twitter to intervene with the divine to stop it.

Go figure.

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AT&T: Rethink What’s Inappropriately Possible


At 6:51 a.m. this morning, I was sleeping soundly when I woke up to my phone buzzing on the night stand beside me.

I reached over and checked the number. It read it was Florida. So I ignored the call and rolled back over.

When a voicemail notification buzzed, I picked up the phone and listened to it. Usually I’d let this slide.

When the VM started, the voice was a young woman telling me if she ever gets an inappropriate text like she did this morning from my phone, she would call the police.

Coffee doesn’t wake me up as effectively.

I jumped out of bed and I called the number straight away. The phone rang several times, and finally the woman picked up. She was upset and immediately said something like, “You better explain yourself.”

I stuttered into the conversation saying, “I know you’re upset and let me explain that I didn’t send you any texts, and I definitely didn’t send you something inappropriate.”

Before we had a chance to determine what had happened, she was more upset that her significant other might “find” a text like that and having to explain it might prove difficult.

After we talked for a few minutes, she explained that the text asked her if she wanted to “fuck” and that she received it about 10 minutes before she called.

When she called my number and heard the outgoing voice message that says it’s a production company, she assumed that it was a porn site.

After a short-ish lengthy conversation with her, in which she explained that she was okay and not to put too much thought into it, I called AT&T.

Well, let me put that a different way. I checked my bill for a number. It told me to go to their website which sent me on a wild goose chase to find a number to call. And when I called, it sent me down the rabbit hole of options before giving me an option to speak with someone directly.

Thank you, AT&T and companies who choose customer service that is nothing short of a pain in the ass.

Veronica the AT&T rep explained that no texts had gone out from my phone since last night at 8:30, which I could verify. She told me to tell my friends and family not to open texts from me with inappropriate content.

“Fine,” I said. “But this wasn’t my friend. It was a stranger.”

So if you get any requests to fuck from my number today, please let me know ASAP. I need to get this straightened out. Fast. I’d rather not change my phone number as it’s kind of like branding.

Thanks in advance.

The spin zone


If I were FOX News, I would take the above graphic showing a side-by-side comparison of Mitt Romney and Barack Obama speaking to college students and say, “Mitt Romney is treating the current state or the world and the economy seriously. That’s why students are falling asleep during his speeches.”

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