talking around the fire pit – click to enlarge
Yesterday was a long day for Tina Beans and me.
We had a shoot during the afternoon. We raced out to Downers Grove for dinner with family in the evening. And we ended the day at an engagement party for two of the greatest guys we’ve met … ever.
Torturous Commuting
If Pol Pot were around today, one of his favorite tortures would be to force people to drive to Downers Grove on Friday after 5 p.m.
On the way out to the ‘burbs, I was eager to hear more about the Pussy Riot trial in Russia so we listened to NPR for most of the stop-and-go ride. There’s no denying that the band went out of their way to make a rebellious statement, in a church no less, degrading President Putin. And maybe they deserved backlash in the way of strong, retaliatory disgust or boos.
But prison time in a labor camp?
What year is this?
If you, you, you back there — and especially you in the shorts and t-shirt — haven’t made the connection between the Dan Cathy uproar here in the You Ess of Aaa and Pussy Riot, let me take your hand and guide you.
Chick-fil-A’s Dan Cathy made a politically charged declaration and did not find himself in prison, jail or fined for the statement. In fact, he and his company benefitted from it. Freedom of speech is not one directional; it’s multi-directional.
Masses of people mistook Cathy’s soapbox for a pulpit, where church congregations don’t have a voice to respond.
Pussy Riot made a statement that landed them a total of two years — away from their friends and families — for making a what, disagreeing with the powers that be? What uterine lottery did Putin win that he is exempt from criticism?
Free Speech is an American luxury that Dan Cathy enjoyed to its fullest degree.
And regardless of whether you are mystified by one group calling another group hate mongers, paint the picture any way you like, we’ve got free speech and Pussy Riot does not.
Hell, 90% of the world doesn’t enjoy the same freedom we get. My brother just got back from China where he couldn’t access Facebook.
So go stick your miserable kvetches in your goddamn butthole.
Dinner with family
We had dinner last night with Tina’s paternal family. It was with an aunt and uncle, another uncle, as well as Tina’s cousin, her husband and two (super cute!) kids.
After dinner, we sat around a firepit and told hilarious stories. It was a welcome few hours of bonding.
On my long journey toward disbelief, Tina’s family has certainly informed how I view homosexuality. The single uncle at last night’s dinner is gay. And Tina’s brother is gay.
It’s interesting to hear stories of how her uncle had to keep his sexuality mostly secret. And by the time Tina’s brother was in high school, there were great strides made in acceptance, but not enough.
Tina’s brother is a DJ and loves music. When he went to clubs as 20-something, we don’t know how many times he was jumped by groups of dudes who thought it was okay to bloody the gay kids.
“I’m sure my brother’s sexuality isn’t a choice,” Tina will say. “How can someone choose to be a person that got him beat up on a regular basis?”
Tina’s brother.
My brother-in-law.
My family.
Do you understand that?
My family was bruised, beaten, slammed, hurt, bloodied, pounded because he prefers a man in bed.
My brother-in-law is not standing in the way of your Jesus-loving salvation any more than your porn-loving fascination, or your food passion, or the sin of your choice.
My brother-in-law has been with the same partner for 16 years. And the people that scream about it the loudest are on their third wives and umpteenth affair.
Without a shred of good rationale to the contrary, backwoods, spit-dinging shitheads think it’s okay to condemn homosexuality to second class citizens. The very notion that puts this group as a whole on the autobahn to hell — and they don’t see that as hateful — is beyond me.
So while the minuscule-brained rednecks sit on their porches filling buckets with their backwards ways, the rest of us are plowing forward.
Engagement Celebrations with Friends
Last night we celebrated the engagement of two guys whom we met recently, and genuinely hope we know them until we just can’t stand it anymore.
Let’s call them Steve and Filip.
Steve and Filip are a great couple. And last night’s party was a reflection of the greatness that is them. And just like Tina and I at our wedding, Steve and Filip danced their brains out and whilst celebrating life with friends and family in an abandon that only two, truly free people can enjoy.
Let me revise that, two, truly free people in love can enjoy.
And maybe I’m a bit biased, because Filip pulled me aside at one point and said something to the effect of, “I don’t believe in a god named Jesus, but I wholly believe in DJ LA*Jesus,” as he pointed toward the DJ booth where a white-Jesus look alike with beard and white headphones was mouthing the lyrics to your favorite dance hit.
Thank almighty human goodness that we live in a city that is much more open and civilized than the foggy rural areas that surround us.
Because the same erotic feelings I have for Tina when I see her shake her hot cute ass and dance are likely the same feelings that Steve has for Filip (and vice versa) when they see each other move on the dance floor.
It’s undeniable.
Peel back the brain coverings
It wasn’t easy to peel my brainwashed mind from the idea that supporting homosexuality is probably as evil as the act itself. Getting to where I am took seemingly forever.
But now that I am, there’s no other way to think.
Tina and I have photographed a gay wedding. And I hope we shoot many more.
We are lucky to have people in our lives who accept and love adults who love one another, without condition. No condition whatsoever.
Perhaps the culmination of the journey I’ve made from small-mindedness was the card I wrote for these two dear men last night. In their card, I wrote:
There are very few things more valuable than love and the expression of it.
There are few things more beautiful than two, human trajectories becoming one in love and marriage.
We stand in awe of your love and are honored to feel the warmth of its inclusion.
Congratulations to you both.
So while the open-minded, cool group of us are plowing forward with progress, unconditional love without any disclaimers whatsoever, we’re not going to wait up for you.
So pick up the pace or stay in the dark ages. We’ve got more important things to worry about.
