This is the thread you should follow during this very fine evening to get the very best presidential debate commentary, as the debate happens.
Back at the first debate, Luis V. and I agreed to live blog one of the debates. Because of schedule, this is the one. So strap in and strap on your strap on. This one is going to be fun.
You can do your part by cheering us on with comments and suggestions to STFU.
You’ll know who’s making what comment, by which name precedes which comment.
Stay tuned, and check back super often. Like 30 times a minute.
JEREMY: Luis probably won’t be as effective as I will be with commentary so only follow my comments.
LUIS: I’m not going for effective, I’m going for kick-ass son!
JEREMY: Any predictions for how this debate is going to play out, Luis?
JEREMY: Wait. Where’s Rick Santorum?
LUIS: I’m thinking it might be a draw. I just hope Bob can keep Romney in check tonight.
LUIS: This Lybia thing is a grey area for Obama, he’s not looked good on this topic.
JEREMY: Or as Tina says “Labia.”
LUIS: After I saw that MadLib video of Tina I’m not surprised.
LUIS: Romney says he doesn’t want another Iraq, where was his dissent 9 years ago?!?!?
LUIS: Wow, Obama is calling out Romney on Russia, Iraq, and all his other gaffes. He’s looking sharp tonight!
LUIS: Romney says he doesn’t agree with Obama’s characterization of his policies. Gov. you don’t even agree with your own policies!
JEREMY: The 80s called and wants its foreign policy back … Romney is a true conservative. He’s bringin’ 80s back … yep
LUIS: In other words, Romney agrees with Obama on Syria, cool! Next!
JEREMY: Your sister is reading this? Crap, Now I have to attempt a level of intelligence far above what I’m capable of.
JEREMY: Romney doesn’t have new ideas. That’s because we’re on the right track. Huh.
LUIS: No worries, her expectations have been duly tempered from dealing with me all this time
LUIS: Did Romney just say our influence is now less than it was 4 years ago?? is he on crack?!?!
JEREMY: Romney’s fighting. That’s for sure. His deliveries are solid. Although, I have to point out that his upper lip is sweaty and there’s a misplaced hair dangling on his forehead that is really distracting.
LUIS: Boy, current Republicans can’t even acknowledge Bush and Cheney’s existence!
LUIS: Romney says, Republicans and Democrats can come together and work, but only when a white guy is at the top.
JEREMY: I think we’re canceling out some of our updates! The kinks are kinky.
JEREMY: Tina just said, “They’re both being aggressive. But Romney is being a jagoff.”
JEREMY: Romney: “Obama care doesn’t sound good … so we gotta get rid of that.”
JEREMY: Romney says go to my web site. That’s where you can find the words I can’t tell you here, while we’re talking. Because I don’t have time for my lofty plans. But trust me. I’ll do it in 8 to 10 years. Don’t give Obama 8 to 10 years. Give me 8 to 10 (more!!!) years.
GIVE ME 8 to 10 More years!
JEREMY: Obama has to hold Romney’s hand and explain that airplanes don’t have windows that roll down.
LUIS: Loved the Battleship line! On this Iran thing, Obama is being very firm on this, glad he’s not backing down on this.
JEREMY: Romney just went on a tirade about the world’s perception of Obama being negative, while his track record SUCKS with impressing the world stage.
LUIS: Mitt keeps repeating the Apology tour lie, unbelievable! Saying that the reputation of the US right now is worse off than it was four years ago is ludicrous! Oh and someone needs to remind Romney that the Iranians are nowhere near a nuclear weapon. Typical scare tactics by Republicans.
JEREMY: “Let’s look at my track record, mo fo.” Obama is kicking Romney’s ass and then he’s using a Sharpie and no pencil to write it on the wall.”
Romney is still sweating his balls off. Jack Donaghy must be his role model.
LUIS: Obama highlights why even the Salt Lake Tribune is not endorsing Romney. It is evident now that if Romney gets the White House it will be scaremongering a la Bush Jr. all over again! Oh and Boo Yah on Bob Schiffer for putting Romney in his place!
JEREMY: “Peyton, I love you and I will always watch over you.”
That’s the kind of clarity of leadership, that even the VP doesn’t agree with.
BTW: Tina says, “Wow, Romney is a slime … ball” after that last interaction with the moderator when he wanted to respond to Obama’s Peyton response.
LUIS: Obama – “Pulling out responsibly”…Uh, huh huh huh huh huh huh
JEREMY: From the Daily What, Hahahaha.
LUIS: I bow to your superior meme finding skills!
JEREMY: Tina needs to stop distracting me. I keep forgetting HUGE thoughts.
LUIS: Yay! Fuck diplomacy, trade war with China from day 1. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait for a Romney presidency! Oh and you two, behave over there!
JEREMY: Romney is wearing the biggest flipflops I’ve ever seen. He’s talking about working with China, but he’s their biggest critique.
What a goddamn douche.
“I wanna great relationship with China.”
He says, “We sell them this much stuff every year.” I think he just started singing that Sunday School hit, “Deep and wide. Deep and wide. There’s a fountain flowing deep and wide.”
Oh no he did not … Obama just said that Romney knows EXACTLY what it’s like to ship jobs overseas to China because he’s done it well already.
LUIS: Waaaaah! The president is attacking my policies and not talking in the abstract enough! Bob, tell him to stop, waaaaahhh!
Also, I like how Romney keeps saying he didn’t say he wanted Detroit to go bankrupt. Another feature of a Romney presidency is they will damn sure try to rewrite history. Gotta love it!
JEREMY: Wait, Romney just waved a white flag during Obama’s last “Fact Checking” statement.
Obama’s clapping his hands like he’s cleaning dusty erasers.
Let it be written, let it be said, Romney’s “god” — not Obama — is responsible for the following:
But figuratively, Obama is responsible for that big-ass deflated honk.
LUIS: Well I think this debate went to Obama but only by a slight margin. Not as decisive as the 2nd debate but still a good showing for Obama. Let’s now see how pissed off Fox News is shall we?
JEREMY: Wow. How many wives is Romney allowed to have? This isn’t the Catholic church right? This kids are safe?
JEREMY: On FOX “News”, they are saying that Romney is going for the big “hug”. Bullshit. Romney is riding Obama’s coat tails. Done and done. You don’t offer a hug to an opponent. You try to ride the successes when you’ve seen failure.
LUIS: I love how PBS is praising Romney for holding out until 9:43 PM until he let out the first lie of the night. Nice!
JEREMY: Sweet-ass NPR: Scott Horsley has a face for radio.
JEREMY: I’m mad because I made a comment about Romney trying to come across as a “Commander-in-chief” but it got deleted while Luis and I were updating.