A few weeks ago, I lost my wedding ring and told you about it here.
This wasn’t something I took lightly. It’s not like the ring was out of a Cracker Jack Box. This wasn’t only a monitory loss. It was the equivalent of giving Tina a swirly in a dirty toilet.
One thought was that it was in the house or fell in the trash. I was cooking that night, and took it off to clean some chicken.
My other inclination was that I lost it while photographing that night outside in the snow. Every time I took off my glove to adjust settings, there was the possibility of losing it. I took my gloves off six times. If I lost it in the snow, I surely wouldn’t be able to find it until the snow thawed. Silver against white is like a Chameleon against grass.
Regardless of snow or not, every time we were outside with Talulah where I lost the ring, I combed the areas looking for my ring. It was a 300 yard stretch of area, but I was diligent. And obsessive.
Last week — in an effort to make sure all the ladies knew I was married — we bought a $10 ring at Kohls.
The weather has been super wonky this year — as predicted by science.
One day it’s in the teens and the next day close to 60 and I can run in a long-sleeve shirt. The snow was finally gone enough to see more of the ground, which makes it hard on Talulah’s feet. One day the grassy is snowy, the next day mushy and the next day frozen and rock hard.
There are days when her feet are bleeding from mixed weather dryness and sprinting over the frozen terrain.
On Monday, I went out first with Talulah. Sometimes Talulah is freaking out so badly to play that the first one with a coat on just goes out and the other will meet up.
As Tina was coming up the hill, something caught her eye on the ground. In that split second of her seeing it, I looked to see what she saw. There was a round, silver thing stuck in some frozen mud right in front of her. She reached down, picked it up, and did a dance and shout session that is reflective of the stereotype most white people have of Native American rain dances.
She didn’t do it on purpose.
She shouted, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it. I can’t even believe it!” as she pulled her knees up high with every step and dipped down low from the waist with every half step.
When she pulled it from the snow, it was like the sword in the stone. She was the only one who could remove it from its resting place. It had been out there for 2 weeks. Who knew how many people tried to pull it up, but couldn’t, because the magic was for her … and her alone.
It was a modern Cinderella story.
And the sex ever since has been stupendous.
Honk!
You can see in the photo above that it’s loose on me. So we’re taking a collection to make it smaller somehow.
Send your million dollar checks to me. I’d muchos appreciate it.
So did you sneak up behind her and say “Give us that, Tina my love – it’s my birthday, and I wants it”?
My best Gollum is likely the worst possible effort known to impersonations.
But if I could, I would have used those exact lines.