Hysterical vuvuzela mashup

June 25, 2010

I might have laughed to tears on this punchline. I’m just saying, “might have”.

Via The Daily What

Biblical vuvuzela

June 23, 2010

Lord of the Vuvuzelas

June 20, 2010

Thanks, Jude!

Incessant Vuvuzela Jokes

June 17, 2010

There is an endless supply of these graphics going around right now.

Speaking of vuvuzelas

June 16, 2010

I saw this graphic on The Daily Wh.at, and I keep forgetting to post it. It’s a helpful infographic on when you should blow your vuvuzula.

Has someone not done a parody of “More Cowbell” yet? Where are you creative soul who will do this? I bet you could get Will Ferrell to help you out.

Why does Joshua come to mind as even more of a complete impossibility right now?

2010 in review, revisited

January 2, 2011

I received an email from WordPress today. Apparently WP did a better year in review. It corrected  my number of 2500 posts to almost 1900. I knew that number was skewed, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it accurate based on the stats available to me at the time.

I apologize for misleading you.

Apart from that, this is what they had to say about 2010 at the circus Le Café Witteveen.

I gotta make one note, the live orgasm at the slingshot video was taken down soon after it posted. It got so many hits, because people search for porn more than any other topic. People were desperate to find that dumb video in tact somewhere on the internet.

I mentioned once that the word “shit” gets me a lot of hits. It’s rather funny really.

Here’s the breakdown:


The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 82,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 4 days for that many people to see it.


In 2010, there were 1879 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 2483 posts.

The busiest day of the year was April 19th with 1,024 views. The most popular post that day was Mehta and Danatus discuss atheism and Christianity at Moody Church | Chicago.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were Google Reader, scienceblogs.com, en.wordpress.com, google.com, and facebook.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for vuvuzela jokes, shit, sphinx, the sphinx, and cafe witteveen.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.


Mehta and Danatus discuss atheism and Christianity at Moody Church | Chicago April 2010


Maddow offers a short list of Obama’s accomplishments so far June 2010
6 comments and 3 Likes on WordPress.com


Incessant Vuvuzela Jokes June 2010


Radio carbon dating, Noah’s Ark and You April 2010


Live Orgasm on sling shot malta 2010 August 2010

Le Café Witteveen Year in Review

January 1, 2011

A painting I did in high school.


Happy New Year, you lovely people! 2010 was a great year. We passed 100,000 hits. We posted almost 2,500 1900times. And we made it a full year without being struck down by lightning. Some of us anyway.

Remember that guy who’s soon-to-be fiancée was struck by lighting, and I wrote about it, and he called me … on the phone! How scary was that? That guy’s name is Richard Butler. I checked Richard Butler’s blog, and he hasn’t been doing very well. Go check in on him. He’s decided to bail on his mortgage and ride the rails around the country. Sounds like a great thing to do, really. He’ll definitely have some stories when it’s all said and done.

The year started with a bang. You’ll remember that I had a book challenge with Mark Tetzlaff. January and February ended up being Le Café’s best months ever in terms of hits. I drove to Champaign, IL to attend John Loftus’ debate with Dinesh D’Souza in February. It’s a good thing Loftus won that debate.


Eventually during the year, Tetzlaff and his buddy Justin-pooh threw in the towel on a two-way conversational blog, and opted out for the more reasonable, Christlike one-way or the highway blog.

Zdenny threw in the towel, too, thanks to me. Just me. No one else.

But now we have a guy named David who has eased his way into the role of crazy commenter at Le Café and we welcome him with open arms.

The blog slowed down over the summer. I went on a missions trip in July to show how great atheists and believers can get along. Just because you disagree with someone’s views doesn’t mean you can’t sleep in the same room with them. The trip was with my dad, no less, and it really brought us closer.

When we got back, we shot regular-reader Xina’s wedding. Marriage is a great institution, and I’m longing for the day when all people who love one another can opt to marry one another.

Back in Chicago in August, Tina and I adopted Talulah. This was Jude’s favorite moment of 2010. Talulah the best dog I could imagine having, and she should be the poster child for pit/boxers. I don’t think I told you that while we were in North Carolina, my year-and-a-half-old niece scootched over to Talulah’s bowl while she was eating and stuck her hand in there, and Talulah only looked at her. If that doesn’t say how awesome and kid friendly she is, I don’t know what does.

The end of the year has wrapped up nicely just in time for Christmas. Or solstice. Or Saturnalia. Or Hanukkah. Or whatever damn holy holiday or not you want to honor.

Tina and I have decided to go full-fledge into business with one another. T-love has been dragging her feet over the past year. But she’s finally making the commitment and I couldn’t be happier.

Apart from that, Vuvuzela jokes got some of the heaviest hits this year. Hitchens got cancer. Dawkins died. I started a series of short stories called Pope Mohammed. And I’m decidedly going to keep on blogging, if for nothing else but to entertain the 30 to 50 of you who regularly read this blog.

I don’t make resolutions. I don’t believe 2011 is a new start except on paper and for taxes. It’s a continuation of what has been in the past and moves us into the future.

If there’s a message I have: it’s that it’s okay not to believe in Jesus, Mohammed, Yahweh, Zeus, Buddha, Zoroaster or any number of religious ideas. Life might be good with religious beliefs, but it’s damn brilliant without. The colors are richer, sharper and the grass is greener, tastes better, and tickles your neck when you lie in it … in a good way.

Oh yeah, and my new catchphrase to believers after they pull out the Pascal’s Wager card, “What if I’m wrong? What if you’re right!?! Holy crap, that would be awful.”

Believe me. It sounds really good when I say it out loud. When are you coming over for me to do my best “Jeremy” impression for you?

Whelp, that’s about it.

Did I miss a great moment? Please, leave a comment and let me know what it was. What do you want to see more of? Less of?

Cheers to you and yours! Here’s to 2011 … whatever that means.

Digging my way to the other side of the planet

July 10, 2010

Next Thursday I’m leaving for Thailand, Cambodia, Singapore and Malaysia. And damnit, the name I’m to call the trip is still up in the air.

It’s surreal that I’ll be traveling abroad literally halfway around the world. The time difference is exactly 12 hours ahead of Chicago. If I dug straight down through Chicago and out the other side, I’d probably end up dying someplace along the way to the other side of the planet. Why would I even try?

I haven’t done nearly enough research about the places I’ll be traveling to. I’ve been occupied with getting my work in order before I leave. I still have projects coming in, and I’ll have to keep up with some work while traveling. I’m kneedeep in an editing project and several other jobs, so it’s not like the whole trip is going to be dedicated to refugees and prison folks.

This Tuesday I might be shooting with an old client from Milwaukee. They need someone to shoot the delivery of an award to one of their top employees locally in Chicago. Fortunately, if I do it, the job will end the same day. I will probably do a down and dirty field edit with the client and be done with it.

The woman I’d be working with used to work for a Wisconsin TV station, and she’s a dream really. She’s great at that on-the-spot style, self-editing technique of being able to knock out an impromptu news segment. Her voice is like butter, and it’s one of those things that when I’m editing her, I get lost in her vocal patterns.

Gosh, I love voices. One of my favorite compliments to pay someone is, “Damn, you have a great voice. Have you considered doing voiceovers?”

Next thing you know, I’m in a cheap motel room laying in bed with a stranger and I’m wondering where to find a cigarette.


I’m looking forward to the Asia-0-tastic traveling and adventure, but I’m not looking forward to being away from Tina for two weeks. She and I are probably closer than most best friends.

You may already know this, but we both work from home. We’re around each other constantly. Some say 24/7, but that’s not entirely accurate. I have things that I try to do away from her and vice versa.

Being away from her will be like breaking an addiction. She may lose her mind. I try to cook or make fresh meals every day and every meal during the week.

I imagine that while I’m gone, she and Zoe will be lying on the floor in the kitchen crying for someone to feed them.

I’ll leave a jar or two of Nutella in the pantry with some crackers. She’ll be fine.

I kid!

Tina’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

She’s been an amazing support during the decision to go or not. When I told her about the trip over a month ago, her response was, “You have to go.”

How’s that for goddess material. She’s simply divine. :)

I’m curious about how the collision of belief with non-belief will play out. I’m considering instigating all kinds of drama like a reality show producer. Maybe it will all come to a head on a rainy mountainside in Cambodia, in which I take on my Dad and Jimmy (the other guy we’re traveling with) in a battle of the wits.

I’m rather excited really. I like the prospect of the test. There’s very little testing outside of the Yeshua Fog™. So we’ll see how it goes.

Okay, I’m off for a jog and to work this afternoon with the second to last 2010 World Cup Vuvuzela concert blaring in the background.

If you stop by, I’d love to know what you’re up to this weekend.

And, what’s the best compliment you like to give people?

Walk this way

June 30, 2010

One of my favorite things to do when shooting event candids  – like this weekend at the Gay Pride Parade — is to grab someone walking toward the camera. Some of my favorite shots are when I can get a complete stranger to look at the lens. I feel it adds a human dimension to the photograph. It’s photographic pathos, if you will.

At the same time, I find that when I’m at events in which I’m a welcome party shots are often better if the subjects are not looking at the lens. I have no idea why I do this.

I mean, I can shoot the shots where everyone is huddled up and smiling shit-eating grins. But I don’t want every shot I take to be like that. Who cares if you can look into the camera and smile. I want you to look at each other and smile.

To get strangers to look at the camera, I find there are three ways to do it. 1) Stand in front of them and make them look at me. 2) Stand in an obvious location and hope someone looks toward the camera and fire. 3) Blow a vuvuzela, wait for a glance and then hit the shutter.

When I grab some stranger’s eye contact toward the lens, when you see it later, you connect with them on some level.

In public, I tend to pine for connections with people. I love shared moments of laughter. I tend to be the guy in the elevator that cracks a joke. I get that element of person-to-person flirtation from my old man. My Dad can talk to almost anyone. Since I can remember, he always “flirted” a little with old ladies and little girls. Now don’t take that the wrong way. He seriously had a way of getting strangers’ attentions.

Perhaps the camera is my way hiding behind an insecurity in order to be more gregarious. Maybe when I have a nice lens between someone else and me, I feel more confident. Who knows.

Here are a series of shots I took of people walking toward camera from last Sunday at the Gay Pride Parade.

There’s a couple more below the fold.

Read the rest of this entry »

Not enough soccer

June 16, 2010

Image from the Chicago Sun-Times

I know I haven’t been watching enough futball/soccer when I haven’t gone to bed without the recurrent aural memory of the vuvuzela ringing in my ears.

Although thoughts of the vuvuzela explain why I have an uncontrollable urge to buy this:


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