Finally, a book on witchcraft I can use

Learning something new keeps the mind fit and active.

Why not a book on Practical Witchcraft today called, “How to hurt people”?

I mean, seriously.

Via

Newt Gingrich conjures the spirit of Magritte in video form. “Ceci n’est pas un cell phone.”

Brilliance, thy name is Newt.

In America, there is plenty of coffee made from snow

Ahh, good ol’ North Korean propaganda.

So many great lines. “Notice there are no birds in the trees. They’ve been eaten by all the people below.”

Later, “They are yummy.”

This will blow your mind.

Go to this link to view.

Buzzfeed: This Is The Most Epic Brand Meltdown On Facebook Ever

This is an epic train wreck of a read: 

 

The thrills of my day … “Timmy” Tebow isn’t a hero

I get it. The above screen cap isn’t the “real” Tim Tebow.

But you gotta love the effort … you know … from the group whose master says don’t flaunt your status in public.

I also got a big kick out of this Brietabart article titled, “PENTAGON MAY COURT MARTIAL SOLDIERS WHO SHARE CHRISTIAN FAITH.”

There’s not a shred of decent reference in the article.

And … what’s the problem?

Every time that forensic Dove ad was posted, I lost a month of my life

I posted that Dove ad parody yesterday.

Every time I saw someone post that damn Dove ad on Facebook, I lost a little of my life.

Really?

If you fall for marketing that easily, beware of the trash you’re inviting into your head.

Sure sure, we’re all attracted to marketing. But a video like that is sheer, intended-to-be-viral propaganda. Dove made that piece, released it, sat back and watched their branding hits go through the roof.

Or maybe I’m jealous that I didn’t do something like that and put my company brand on it.

But I’m pretty sure I’m disappointed in my fellow Facebook citizens who fell for that crap.

It wasn’t anything more than a contrived piece of pooh from the same company who sells Axe body spray.

Do you really think the Axe body spray folks give a shit how women perceive themselves when they’re telling men that spraying Axe on their privates will land them six or seven hot women a night?

Come on.

It’s these same people who believe thinking about miracles will cause one.

 

 

Shit jokes are funny!

The person who posts this and expects to be cited as intelligent … should be sooo sooo proud … of their level of intelligence!

I mean, what dumbass atheist talks to a child instead of eating it?

Seen on facebook:

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned
to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike
up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total
stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God,
or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.

“Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence,
thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which
the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss
God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

And then she went back to reading her book.

Finally! A reason to go to church: “Wild mountain man”!

Huisache Baptist Church invites you to come and see the “Wild Mountain Man” as he performs a knife demonstration. He will throw knives at Pastor Cummings as he presents an exciting gospel message. Everyone welcome – Bring a friend.” 

Via 

 

Shoot, my penis puts on white sheets at Halloween and … wait a minute!

Looking for some light reading?

Look no further than Carton Mellick III’s new book, “The Haunted Vagina.”

You may remember Mellick from his award-winning book “Apeshit.”

Haunted Vagina is about a guy whose girlfriend’s vagina makes noises. Some people call it haunted, apparently. Other people call it trapped air that’s escaping at high rates of speed.

About the Haunted Vagina (love the tagline):

It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.. 

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy’s pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.

When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return… especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy’s legs.

Via 

 

 

Imagine the fun! spending $150 on concert tickets and watching the whole thing on your mobile device

Apparently the Yeah Yeah Yeahs want you to experience their concerts as if you were there … when — of course — you were actually there.

More here.

Via Joe My God