Photo essay: Paris, Day 1

Here are some photos from Day 1 in Paris.

Bon appétit!

 

 

A birds and bees lesson

Seen on Facebook.

Tell the world to stay off the road

I’m at the DMV today renewing my license so that I can properly apply for an international drivers permit. We are headed to France mid-June and we are renting a car to drive to our future home away from home.

Apparently you need a license that doesn’t expire in the next six months to get an international permit.

The real reason I’m getting it renewed is because of a woman at the grocery store.

There’s a woman at our local self checkout who — every stinking time she checks my I.D. — says, “Make sure you renew your license before your birthday. You don’t want me turning you away without booze on your big day.”

My birthday is in fucking September. She’s been doing it since January.

I’ve heard her tell other people too and I’m damn near starting a support group. The mental anguish involved when I see her is tremendous.

In fact, the real reason i’m getting this thing renewed is … to shut her up!

Don’t say I didn’t tell you! A laundry list of things that will keep you from demonic possession

“Beloved, do not take part in any of these components of Satan’s Spiritual Structure.* They are doorways to demonic possession.” 

Doorways to demonic possession!

They are plenty.

Keep in mind, fornication, the only way you and I are here on earth, is a doorway to the devil possessing your body and turning you into a Satanic vessel of evil!

 

 

What Stan at TYWKIWDBI is posting

I wasn’t going to post multiple pointers back to Stan’s blog TYWKIWDBI, but damn if he doesn’t find the coolest stuff.

You have to check out this one: Cosmetic glasses. It features a photo and explanation for the amazing ways technology and science have innovated reconstructive surgeries. Let me warn you. Well, let Stan warn you:

The photograph is truly startling, but because it depicts an alteration of the human face which may not be within some readers’ comfort zones, I’ll place it below the fold here…

Also, guess who this tramp is:

Answer here: Recognize this bum?

Anyone have $29,000,000 they can spot me?

I’ve got good news and bad news.

Good news: Annie Lebovitz’ 10,000 sq. ft. New York residence is up for sale.

The bad news: I don’t have $29,000,000 laying around to buy it outright.

I know that you — as my fans — you want me to have the best life in the best environs. You want me to live in the lap of luxury whilst creating masterworks of amazingness.

Well, here’s your chance to help me out. Here’s your chance to make me happy.

What are you waiting for? Let’s do this.

Listing here. Story here.

Thanks Pops!

It’s hump day! Let’s talk sex!

Conservative group’s sex talk at high school questioned in the following article.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Having sex with eight partners is the equivalent of drinking a whole classroom’s spit.

A new sexually transmitted disease is out there that will become the new AIDS.

All medical textbooks say life begins at conception.

For an hour, Joi Wasill, the founder of nonprofit Decisions, Choices and Options, and Beth Cox of the Sumner County School Board provided a captive audience of high school freshmen and sophomores their take on STDs, abortion and adoption.

It wasn’t completely accurate, a Vanderbilt University doctor said. But neither Tennessee state law nor the class curriculum prohibits what was said.

Read more.

Great photography advice from Jessyel Ty Gonzalez

Over at Scott Kelby’s blog, I found an older post by guest photographer Jessyel Ty Gonzalez with advice for photographers.

Read the whole thing here.

Some nuggets that stood out to me:

-You can’t get better if you don’t continuously practice. That’s really the big secret. Keep shooting all the damn time.

-You have to love photography. I mean, really love it. Photography as a hobby is much different than photography as a profession.

-Surround yourself with smart, humble, and hard-working people. Try to be the same.

-Photography is in oversupply. Those who are creative problem solvers and who can adapt are going to win.-Watch films with great cinematography. Get shamed at how bad you are. Get inspired at how great you can become.

-The key to great photography is not letting anyone see your bad shots.

LOVE THIS ONE: 

-I’ll get some flack for this, but the equipment does matter. Doesn’t mean buying the latest and greatest guarantees great shots, but it means getting the right tool for the right job, and knowing your equipment inside and out.

-Talk to people. I consider myself an introvert, but the world is different when you’re in charge and a camera is present. Let those social worries melt away.  Learn to talk to people, to relate to them, to know their trepidations and what makes them unique. Go out and take some street portraits of strangers – it will do wonders to your other work. Relationships, y’all.

-Get in front of the camera. Let people photograph you for a change. Know what bothers you, what makes you uncomfortable, and use that when you’re finally back behind the camera.

-Everyone is using the same equipment. There is no ‘magic’ lens or camera that makes someone better. Although the gear is expensive, we’re technically all on a level-playing field. Don’t get discouraged by others’ gear – get encouraged by their skill.

 

Impressive fulcrum you have there.

To get the shot, you must believe!

Not really. You have to work hard.

Here’s me during my turn to hold the light shooting a band yesterday.

It’s Catordog!

Somebody needs some A/C.

STAT.