Satan looks like Obama? Coincidence? I think not.

March 18, 2013

article-2295082-18BFD6BD000005DC-96_634x547From the Daily UK:

Sunday evening’s episode of the History Channel’s hit series ‘The Bible’ threw up an awkward coincidence when viewers noticed that Satan bore a remarkable resemblance to President Obama.

Twitter exploded into life during the airing of the latest edition of the Mark Burnett-produced series with most noting the striking similarities between the 44th President and the devil played by actor Mehdi Ouzaani.

The show has been a surprise hit in the ratings, with the religious mini-series attracting 13.1 million viewers on Wednesday – topping television leviathan American Idol’s 12.8 million viewers on Wednesday.

Read more:

Thanks, Aaron!

 

 


What the believing kids are writing

December 1, 2012

Over at Facebook, John Shore (@johnshore) posted a link to a blog post about 1 Timothy 2:12 explaining that the writer, Dan Wilkinson, did an exceptional job of explaining the verse.

The post is called “I do not permit a woman” and can be found here at Cooling Twilight (dot com).

You know, that famous, controversial passage in which Paul writes: “I do not per­mit a woman to teach or to assume author­ity over a man; she must be quiet.”

You know, one of those verses that renders the concept of belief a bit silly, reckless and short-sighted.

I took a look at the post. Wilkinson does the standard, the message is out of context to today’s world, and shouldn’t be looked at so seriously. Not surprisingly, he says that some things are mysterious in the bible. Imagine that.

Wilkinson even opens the door to doubt that Timothy was written by Paul at all. He quickly returns and says, But for the sake of the argument, and that Timothy is canonical, let’s explore it as if it were.

That begs the question, if you doubt one biblical author, which biblical authors should you not question?

Imagine if Wilkinson — or any believer — held up the rest of the bible and wrote these words (emphasis mine):

Part of the prob­lem is that we’re only hear­ing one side of the con­ver­sa­tion — we’re lis­ten­ing in on one end of a two thou­sand year old dis­cus­sion that wasn’t directly intended for us. We aren’t famil­iar with the cul­ture and con­text, we don’t truly know what it was like to be a Christian in first cen­tury Ephesus and we don’t know many details about the dif­fi­cul­ties the church there was facing.

“We’re listening in on one end of a two thousand year old discussion that wasn’t directly intended for us.”

Really?

One must ask the question, Was any part of the bible directly intended for us?

“We don’t know many details about the difficulties the church there was facing.”

Don’t we? Don’t we know some details about the church’s evolution from nothing to something? The evolution of the trinity concept? The evolution of the godman?

Wilkinson nearly concludes the discussion with this sentence:

In the end, we must be con­tent with more ques­tions than answers.

Let that sink in for a second. When have you met a Christian who was more content with questions over answers?

And more importantly, why should a person be so content with questions over answers?

Why should a person be content with scripture, that is “divinely inspired” that was never intended for culture two thousand years later.

Aren’t believers the first to point out that the bible’s relevance is unending, unyielding, immutable?

Does Paul get a pass on this solidarity toward verbatim commitment?

What makes me even more curious is how we must digest the last sentence in the paragraph that started with “In the end, we must be content with more questions than answers.”

Wilkinson writes:

We must be con­tent with a less-than defin­i­tive con­clu­sions about this pas­sage, but that also shouldn’t pre­vent us from com­ing to any con­clu­sion at all.

Confused? Wondering what to think? Don’t know the mystery but want to solve the puzzle?

Jump to a conclusion!

That’s the answer.

Go read the post yourself. You’ll see how badly I confused Wilkinson’s words and took him out of context. You will see that my writing is full of mystery. But consider what I wrote, and take it as gold, valuable gold.

Because I said so.

 


Zillion year old Pat Robertson says, “Do not fight with science. You’ll lose.”

November 29, 2012

This might be the most sense Pat Robertson has made in a while.

Maybe it’s because he was living in the time of the dinosaurs and his timeline is more accurate.

Regardless, I think there’s more nuggets of truth behind this response to a mother asking about answers in the Bible than he’s letting on.

Via

 

 


Finally! The 2012 Edition of the Voter’s Guide is out!

October 29, 2012

It’s a good thing the Holy Bible was clear about who to vote for … 2 Chronicles 7:14 reads,

“Vote for the white guy — or the black guy — who loves money more. Who literally wastes it while on the campaign trail. Vote for the guy who is going to make it easier for the rich to pass through the eye of a needle with their big wallets in tact. Then you will know you voted for the right candidate.”

Seen on facebook … and the laughter from my belly when I saw it was louder than all the acts I saw at Lollapalooza … combined.


Albert Einstein (have you heard of him?) sings the hits

October 8, 2012

 

The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. These subtilised interpretations are highly manifold according to their nature and have almost nothing to do with the original text.

From a letter Albert Einstein wrote on January 3, 1954 to Eric B. Gutkind (real name). The letter was in German. Did you know Einstein knew more than one language?

I hate when smart people act antagonistically toward religion. It’s insulting. 

More info and context here.

 


Mark Twain sings the hits

August 22, 2012

Persecution of witches

Persecution of witches (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same; but the medical practice changes…The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession- and take the credit of the correction. During many ages there were witches. The Bible said so. the Bible commanded that they should not be allowed to live. Therefore the Church, after eight hundred years, gathered up its halters, thumb-screws, and firebrands, and set about its holy work in earnest. She worked hard at it night and day during nine centuries and imprisoned, tortured, hanged, and burned whole hordes and armies of witches, and washed the Christian world clean with their foul blood.
Then it was discovered that there was no such thing as witches, and never had been. One does not know whether to laugh or to cry…..There are no witches. The witch text remains; only the practice has changed. Hell fire is gone, but the text remains. Infant damnation is gone, but the text remains. More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the texts that authorized them remain.

Mark Twain
- “Bible Teaching and Religious Practice,” Europe and Elsewhere


28. If you love puppies, and you love slamming babies onto rocks, you’ll love this version of the bible

June 14, 2012

Nothing says, “I believe” like owning the Playful Puppies Bible.

And this translation can be yours — bound in leather — for the low low price of $24.99 $21.24.

The Kindle version is available for $8.99.

One of the greatest verses included is its version of Revelation 3:20: “Yay, I stand at the door and bark. If anyone hears my bark and lets me out to pee, I will come back and eat my kibbles, which you will leave givingly in my bowl.”

By it here at Amazon. Seriously.

8:30 p.m. CST 

…………………………………….

This is post 27 of 35 in the SSAweek Le Café Witteveen Blogathon. You can still donate to the SSA by supporting other blogathoners, art contributors, personal fundraising pages or through a direct donation to the SSA. SSA Week lasts through June 17. Spread it!


Somebody needs to show me some good PR for belief. Seriously? This is depressing.

May 30, 2012

The above video is one that’s circulating fast. And it should. It’s a four-year old from Indiana telling a congregation that there will be no homos in heaven.

Joe My God wrote:

Thanks to the web sleuthing of a JMG reader, last night we learned Indiana’s Apostolic Truth Tabernacle is where that four year-old child was filmed singing Ain’t No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven. Shortly after I posted that repulsive clip, I was contacted by several media outlets, including CNN, who now know its source. Contact details for Pastor Jeff Sangl are at the first link and I suspect he is about to have a very interesting week.

Clearly, this is the best way to teach a child.

Clearly, this is a logical conclusion based on Biblical principles.

Clearly, the supposed moral bankruptcy of this nation is resting on the shoulders of those who perpetuate that their morality is superior whilst teaching children this bullshit.

If this is your love, I don’t want it.

To add insult to injury, you should read about the Kansas pastor who called on the government to execute homosexuals. Why? Because that’s what the bible says to do to them.

Pastor Curtis Knapp says:

“If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. They should be put to death. ‘Oh, so you’re saying we should go out and start killing them, no? I’m saying the government should. They won’t, but they should. You say, ‘Oh, I can’t believe you, you’re horrible. You’re a backwards neanderthal of a person.’ Is that what you’re calling scripture? Is God a neanderthal, backwards in his morality?

“Is it His word or not? If it’s His word, he commanded it. It’s His idea, not mine. And I’m not ashamed of it. He said put them to death. Shall the church drag them in? No, I’m not saying that. The church has not been given the power of the sort; the government has. But the government ought to [kill them]. You got a better idea? A better idea than God?” – Pastor Curtis Knapp, of New Hope Baptist Church in Seneca, Kansas.

If you’re a believer, what are you doing to help solve this? What are you doing to distance yourself from such awful displays of idiocy?

If you’re appalled, please explain yourself. I would love to know what you’re thinking.

Via JMG and The Daily What


Billy Graham: The bible’s definition of marriage is clear, I just don’t have any room to show you where the bible says it on this full-page ad

May 3, 2012

Isn’t it amazing.

Billy Graham takes out a full-page ad (above) supporting heterosexual marriage in North Carolina, claims in the ad that the bible is clear on the topic, and yet there’s not one citation to the bible.

He writes:

“The Bible is clear – God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.”

Dear reader, please show me this clear passage. Show me it, and in the meantime, I’ll show you 100 clearer stories of marriage that oppose one man/one woman.

When this is your message, you clearly need to find a new resource for morality.

Vote AGAINST, North Carolina.

Let compassion and humanism — clearly the authority on morality and human behavior — guide your decision. Not this morally corrupt, contemptible excuse for a leader of people.

Via


Every time a few centuries pass, an angel gets a gun

April 21, 2012

Stan at TYWKIWDBI posted the above image of a painting titled, “The Archangel Barachiel with Harquebus.”

He wrote:

I have to admit I’ve never considered the possibility of angels/archangels carrying armaments, but I’m undoubtedly ignorant of some Biblical references.  Anyone?

There were a range of answers including discussion of “where’s his wings?” and something to the tune of, a modern depiction of an angel who once wielded a sword.

There was one comment which I found to be true based on my research of the bible and that was this one from Abbie:

I just finished reading the Bible (and the apocrypha!) and angel actually aren’t really that important. The original hebrew word just meant “messenger” so for the most part angels are just ill-defined beings that say stuff for God/Yahweh.

Revelations, which is much later, angels are a more defined concept, and they appear wielding “sharp sickles” in chapter 14.

The idea of “archangels”, armed or not, must be later theology. (Satan as a character is pretty undefined in the Bible. I don’t know where the whole “fallen angel” thing comes from, maybe since the “Satan” (a hebrew word meaning “adversary, NOT a proper noun) in Job is able to speak to God, but the later conception of Satan is not on as good terms.)

AF- the “cherubim” in the OT are winged griffin or sphynx-ish creatures, not chubby baby angels.

While Satan is among the characters that I learned about at church and at school, he’s incredibly quiet in the bible as a singular character. There are gods of the era that are demonized, like Baal. And the character that shows up in Genesis (the snake!), in Job, in the desert temptation scene with Yeshua, and then again in Revelation — we’re made to think he’s the same character.

I was taught that — by taking the bible as a whole — you piece together the picture of Satan. However, the Satan story as a fallen angel is a confused bit of folklore based on a passage in Revelations about a fallen star.

As a Christian, not understanding where Satan comes from is taking the bible out of context. Even though the context is a cobbled together bunch of disconnected stories.

The monsters of the Bible are God and later Jesus, who came to earth in a minuscule pocket of the world to bring salvation from a place called hell that God, nor Jesus, nor the Holy Spirit are able to defeat for whatever reason or another.

Dear Christian, doesn’t that strike you as odd? 

Are we really supposed to accept that Hell is the cosmic equivalent of a vehicle’s blind spot? No matter what Yeshua or God does, they will never be powerful enough to defeat Satan. So by the sheer misfortune of thought crimes, you and your loved ones who don’t invite Yeshua into their hearts are bound for eternity without God’s glowing, all-powerful love?

Something smells fishy. 

Satan is more clearly depicted in tradition than biblical description. As are angels and the monotheism of YHWH.

When read from a certain perspective, the bible makes God out to be several characters who existed in the minds of different tribes and people groups back then. And even the forced ideology of the “trinity” is essentially jamming down your throat that you’re supposed to think three beings are one. Clearly, they are three. But you have to fight logic for faith.

It was tradition and theology that created monotheism, in the form of a pantheistic, back-bending, mind-numbing exercise in mental aerobics.

If you can accept that three are one, than apparently you can accept that God, Satan, Heaven and Hell are plausible and acceptable concepts.

If you can accept that “all-powerfulness” also includes “not-all-powerfullness,” then by Jove, you should be a Christian.


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