“Divorce expos: A sign of the times?”

From The Week:

Forget the tiered cakes and floral arrangements that pack the halls of wedding expos. Divorce showcases are brimming with life coaches and dating experts

POSTED ON APRIL 3, 2012, AT 2:20 PM

Women comprised roughly 70 percent of attendees at New York City’s first-ever divorce expo. Photo: Courtesy ShutterstockSEE ALL 87 PHOTOS

The expo has become a staple of the insatiable wedding industry, with stalls upon stalls helping the newly engaged make the myriad decisions that go into their special day. But blushing brides-to-be were in short order at a related expo in New York City this weekend. Titled “Start Over Smart,” it was the city’s first-ever expo for divorcees, many of whom are wrestling with some pretty serious decisions of their own. And while “Start Over Smart’ doesn’t dwell on the happiest of events, the hundreds of attendees weren’t engaged in long harangues or bitter fist-shaking. Instead, the expo tried to put a positive spin on what roughly half of married Americans will one day experience. Here, a guide to this “sign of the times”:

What is a divorce expo?
Instead of vendors selling wedding dresses and bouquets, “life coaches, financial planners, family counselors, and even hairstylists” are on hand to help “new divorcees field the brave, new life of singledom,” says Erica Ho atTIME. Attendees can also get tips on dating and sex, which could be especially valuable “if you’ve been with the same person for five, 10, or 20 years,” says Cindy Perman at CNBC. “Your waistline is different now, your hairline is different, your dating pool is different — and dating is different.”

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The sanctity of marriage! We’re pound sign one! #fail

The reports are in. Kim “That Money-Hungry Bitch” Kardashian’s getting a divorce after her lavish wedding 72 days ago, broadcast on E! and bolstered by all the gossip mags possible.

This fame-whore is only famous because she has a big ass, a popular dad and a contract with the devil.

And the magical history of heterosexual marriage in this country is at the forefront of everyone’s minds.

We tell the world — the universe — that we’re a one-woman/one-man kind of country that upholds the sanctity of marriage like no other.

And yet, this is a land where TV networks, TV personalities and industries can make more money off one wedding than the population of my neighborhood makes in their lifetimes.

Ryan Seacrest might have made $18 million from the event.

Why is this country fighting over gay marriage again?

Doesn’t everyone have the right to make millions off of the worthless notion of celebrity weddings in this country?

Holy matrimonial bullshit.

I’ll believe this is a one-woman/one-man kind of world when the sanctimonious corporate culture gives a shit about respecting weddings.

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And on the eighteen thousand and fifty-nine billionth day, God said, “Fuck you, Pat Robertson.”

Soon to be bopped in the nose Julie Ferwerda recently posted a sweet-ass article to my Facebook wall.

It was for this parody article titled: “In rare public statement, God tells Pat Robertson to Shut the Fuck up.”

Julie wrote: “Thought this would give you another sinister grin.” She was referring to this.

I responded with, “Thanks. This is awesome.”

To which my paternal grandmother — a facebook lover and advocate — responded, “I know God does not talk like that!!!!!!!”

See what you did, Julie, you got my grandma involved!!!!!!!!

Notice how my grandmother and I love exclamations exclamations. We’re cut from the same thread.

You should know that it wasn’t my grandmother who responded. It was one of my aunts, who uses my grandmother as an alternative account to increase her points on Facebook games.

Whatever.

I wrote back: “Really? Are you sure, Opoe?”  (Opoe is our term for grandma)

I knew it wasn’t her. I was fishing for a response … and credit card information.

My grandma responded: “This is your aunt [so and so]. I know God doesn’t talk like that and neither do I!!!”

I happen to talk like that, so I don’t give a fuck about the language. My point is not the language, but the message. Someone needs to tell people like Pat Robertson to shut the fuck up.

Hey, Pat Robertson … shut the fuck up!

Here was my response (which I’m sure is going to get some play at family reunions that I’m rarely a part of):

I figured it wasn’t Opoe.

I hope God talks like that. It’d be much more realistic to conversational speech.

Maybe he said “Pat Robertson, shut the frick up” or “shut your stinking can, Pat Robertson” or “Clamp your darn mouth, Pat Robertson” and it got lost in translation.

Someone with authority needs to tell that guy to shut it. He’s making perfectly good and reasonable people look badly.

It shows that the guy with the infrastructure, the cameras, the sound equipment and the mouth aren’t always the best person to speak for the majority.

Yeah, I said it. And I mean it. I say “reasonable”, and I’ve been criticized for it before. I believe that the believers I know are “reasoned”. It may not be the reasoning that I agree with, but …

Was that response disrespectful? Sure.

Was it right? I think so.

No one gets Carte Blanche to say what he wants without criticism.

No one.

Not even me.

Give me what you’ve got … I can take it.