What Joanne Casey is posting

 

If you want a great resource for all things funny … look no further than Joanne Casey’s I have seen the whole of the Internet.

Below are some highlights.  My dog only eats top-quality organic treats and its own feces. 

 

What the funny kids are posting

Tastefully Offensive Tumblr and I have seen the whole of the Internet are two of my favorite spots to get a laugh.

Here are a few from either site.

Use tongues to pick up cookies, not your hands. 

Fuck – verb – fuck can be used in many ways and is probably the only fucking word that can be put every fuckingwhere and still make fucking sense. Fuckers. 

Why don’t some of us sit on the other side of the goddamn table. 

Betty should have waited an hour to go swimming. 
The Two Commandments: Be cool. Don’t be an asshole. 

 

What the other funny kid is posting

To be fair, I decided to post some of what Tastefully Offensive Tumblr is posting.

Warning. You might laugh at least once.

Update on facebook reads, I once had a goldfish who would breakdance on the carpet but only for about 20 seconds.

A holiday joke to make your celebrations celebration-y-er

You know there are times when there is a lull in conversation. That’s when it’s time for a joke. Simply pull this blog up on your phone and read away.

You won’t be disappointed.

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home so she puts her lover in the closet not realizing that her son is hiding in there.

The little boy says ”It’s dark in here”
The man replies ”Yes, it is”
Boy – “I have a baseball.”
Man – “That’s nice.”
Boy – “Want to buy it?”
Man – “No, thanks.”
Boy – “My dad’s outside.”
Man – “OK, how much?”
Boy – “$250″

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together once again.
Boy – “Dark in here.”
Man – “Yes, it is.”
Boy – “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy,
“How much?”
Boy – “$750″
Man – “Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab
your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”
The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy – “$1,000″
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like
that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again!”

Seen on Facebook.

Christopher Walken is a Christmas Carol!

“Walken in a winter wonderland”

Thanks, George!

Business Cat meme is funny

Via Tastefully Offensive and more here.

We’re going to have to think outside the box here. I just pooped in it. The sales contract had a few strings attached I played with them for 2 hours. I’m leaving this company. No wait I want to come back in. We need to focus on the 4th quarter. I batted the first three under the couch. Regarding that presentation you left on my desk, I’m going to sleep on it. The red dot seems to be attracted to powerpint. I will make a presentation to lure it in. 

What the funny kids are posting

Most of these are from Tastefully Offensive Tumblr, but one is from I have seen the whole of the internet. See if you can guess which one.

 

If people could hear the five seconds after we hit “end” on a call, we would all have no friends. 

 

 

Two hasbrowns playing #hastag

 

High on every tourist’s itinerary was a trip to fred’s house to see the changing of the sheets. 

 

Write the name of someone you hate on your body in permanent market so no matter how you die they’ll become a suspectIf you think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would be pretty much the greatest sounding thing ever.

 

Oh crap, I renege. There is proof of the afterlife.

 

Seen on the internet:

 

Text below the fold. 

Helen Keller lives! And she’s now a hair dresser

Image of Miley Cyrus and her new haircut reads, @The_Helenkeller: “I hope you all like the hair cut I gave Miley Cyrus.”

Via 

 

Oh neat, a master bait and switch

Seen on facebook