These underpants are making me awesome!

August 31, 2011

My running life has surged over the past few months. Tina and I run about 3 to 4 times a week. I went from about 3.5 miles per exercise day to about 4 to 6 miles.

My routine is running to the gym, working out (swimming or weights) then running home. Lately I take a longer route to and from.

You may not know this, but with more running, there’s a chance your butt is going to chaff like your thighs are sandpaper and your perineum is a sensitive nerve factory.

I grew up athletic. I played soccer and basketball in school. And, despite the warnings to wear scrotum hugging active wear, I have rarely succumbed to the advice.

In high school, if I wore tighty whiteys to work out, I would get a stomach ache that felt like I was kicked in the pants a hundred times over. I played soccer in boxers.

Lately, I haven’t had that problem. I will run in a bathing suit with underwear built in, and no pain issues. Since I swim, I would wear the shorts two or more times before washing (gross, huh?).

With more running comes more stinky, sweaty clothes. So Tina and I walked over to Target, and I bought a pair of Champion underwear like the ones above. I thought surely, these things aren’t going to work for me. I thought surely I’m going to hate them.

But you know what?

You can’t get my ass out of them. I want to wear them ALL THE TIME!!!

Seriously, they make my genitals feel warm and cozy.

I mean, I’m this close to taking Anthony Weiner style photos and sexting all of you!

When I run in them, there’s no chance of chaffing … none, nada, zilch.

Remember when you were little, and you got a new pair of shoes, and suddenly you thought you were faster and could run forever?

That’s what these underpants do for me.

When I pull them up, and head out the door, I’m faster.

I can run longer.

I am awesomer!

I put on Runkeeper, blast a little Metallica or Foo Fighters, and I’m zooming down the road. Hell, I even run to Mute Math. I hear they’re a Christian band … and yet I’ve not turned away from non-belief yet. How about that?

When I’m running in my new underpants, people may not know that I’m awesome, but that’s the look I try to have on my face.

“I am awesome in these underpants. Watch me run!”

From now on, these are my underpants of choice … and I recommend them to you and yours … so you can be awesome, too.

 

 


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