Betty Bowers explains the Biblical stand on abortion … accurately

Are you pro- or anti-solid feces

Doesn’t it seem like Anti-Diarrhea medicine is shooting itself in the foot?

I mean, if pro-lifers want to paint pro-choicers as evil, they say, “anti-life,” right?

Same for pro-choicers and anti-choice.

So why don’t Anti-Diarrheal meds re-think their strategy and market themselves Pro-Solid Poops.

In the very least, Pro-Number Twos … not Number Threes.

Diarrhea … Cha cha cha.

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See below the fold for contest rules. 

Well crap, I jumped the gun

Last night, Dr. Patrick Johnston commented on this old blog post, and I kneejerked a reaction. You can read the response just below this post.

I’ll admit it. I was being an asshole. That’s what happens sometimes.

I skimmed Dr. Johnston’s article in question to verify what I thought was true. And then I gave old Patty boy what I like to call, “Small Blog Publicity” or SBP as we call it around Le Café.

I’m about to give him some more SBP, because Dr. J deserves it. Why? Because Dr. Johnston believes in extreme asshole-ery.

Let’s say that you’re a woman. Oh wait, scratch that. Let’s say you’re a 13-year old little girl. You have Bieber fever. Your favorite things to do include texting your girlfriends and video chatting with them over 10-way conversations that sound like utter gibberish to anyone outside of the know. At night, you take off a training bra you’ve been wearing for a couple years. At night, you sleep tight because you’re protected by the safety of your family.

One night, a distant uncle enters your room. The darkness on your bed is illuminated by the creaky opening of your bedroom door. Your uncle pads across the carpet of your floor and sits on your bed. You turn toward him. He is backlit. He opens his mouth to talk to you. His breath smells funny. His body smells like your daddy’s after he’s worked in the yard for hours.

Before you know it, his fingers are pushing around on your skin. You feel the prickles of his face sandpaper your arm, your stomach, your legs. He is holding you down. His hands are feeling inside of your pajamas. His fingers are pushing against your butt. And then he is hurting you and you squeeze your eyes shut as he holds his hand over your mouth to muffle your screams. You can taste your tears and his sweat in your mouth.

Five minutes later — a length of time that seems like weeks — you hear your uncle’s belt buckling and the zipping up of his pants. You sit up straight in bed, pull your legs up to your body and try as hard as you can to get your body as far as possible from him.

He whispers through deep wheezing breaths, “Don’t tell anyone or I’ll kill you.”

He leaves your room, and you’re left in pain, covered in something wet and sticky. You’re confused, and crying. You bury your head in your pillow to avoid your uncle hearing and possibly hurting you more. .

Weeks go by. Your mood has changed. Your Bieber fever is gone, and replaced by nausea, frequent pees, backaches, changes in your breasts. Not to mention, you’ve developed nightmares and day terrors. Your mom finally takes you to the doctor, because this cold or fever is not going away.

Your doctor, you call him Dr. J., comes in the examination room, asks for your symptoms. He takes your heart rate. He listens to you breath. He plugs a popsicle stick in your mouth and asks you to say, “Ah.” He asks you to pee in a cup. You do.

Twenty minutes later, Dr. J pokes his head in your exam room and asks your mom to step out with him. For what seems like another eternity, they are gone.

Your mom and Dr. J return to the room. Your mom’s eyes are red. She’s been crying. You whimper. Her mood affects yours. Dr. J. explains to you that you are pregnant. After some coercion and a condensed sex education lesson, you explain to them that your uncle came in your room one night and hurt you.

You cry. Your mom cries. Dr. Johnston stands with arms folded and dry eyes.

Dr. J. looks into your eyes and he says, “I am sorry that you’re pregnant. While it was very biblical of him to do, I realize it hurt you. You are pregnant. That means a baby is growing inside of you. God has a reason for you being pregnant. And since god has a reason that we cannot know, you must carry the baby and have it. That is god’s plan.”

You don’t believe me? Or you don’t believe Dr. Johnston?

In the article that I linked to above written by Dr. Johnston, he wrote:

It cannot be denied that John McCain supports the killing of some innocent preborn children by abortion.  Although he claims to be pro-life on the campaign trail, he has repeatedly justified abortion in cases of rape or incest or to protect the life of the pregnant woman.[9]  That is, he thinks it is okay to murder some innocent children by abortion.

That means, Dr. Johnston does NOT think it’s okay for abortion in cases like the one above. He probably doesn’t think his own wife’s life is more valuable than a fetus that could kill her.

If Dr. Johnston’s 13-year old daughter was gang raped by a group of thugs, following the biblical agreement of rape in some cases, he would tell that beautiful little girl that regardless of her feelings, wants, needs, aspirations and dreams, she must have that child.

Dr. Johnston thinks a 13-year old rape victim should have her rapist’s baby.

Is this sinking in?

A 13-year old should be punished for nine months of pregnancy for a crime she didn’t commit. She should undergo child birth. She should deal with whatever pain of having the child adopted or she should be forced to partially or fully mother a child at the age of 13. Or she should have the baby adopted by her mother or grandmother and be faced with the child the rest of her life.

Her baby’s face will look like her attacker. It will grow up to look more and more like the face of the man who rubbed his sweaty sandpapery face on her. Her child’s face will constantly reflect a man’s inability to control himself and it will reflect the most bizarre, human tendency to fall for a book written thousands of years ago about a god that is as abominable as a zillion Hitlers.

It will reflect a culture that praises manhood, fertility and brainwashing in exchange for your pain and suffering.

The devil exists, and he lives in the body of Dr. Patrick Johnston. You, Dr. Johnston, and anyone who thinks like you should be ashamed. Your beliefs are unfounded, archaic and outright bizarre.

It should be insulting that such uneducated, asshole-ery is practiced in May of 2011.

After the quote I pulled out above, Dr. Johnston writes: “In what way is that pro-life?”

In what way is abortion in some cases pro-life? For one, it’s not taking a 13-year old’s hopes, dreams and aspirations and throwing them on the ground, stomping on them and telling them an old book wants you to think that hateful, evil behavior is love.

It’s being benevolent and caring in the face of an evil crime. It is life giving to a 13-year old to not subject her to biblical “values.”

Isn’t it a shame that a childless, outspoken, humanistic realist must be the voice to speak up for the 13-year old little girls? If I don’t, who will?

Quote of the day and new asshole creation

The quote of the day is from Matthew on this post. He’s responding to a comic about abortion.

There’s a big difference between “health care” and the tolerance of murdering a human being.

Matthew, you’re a jerk.

Allow me to be a bigger jerk, because I want to ream you – and mindless idiots like you – a new asshole. Because the same ideas that encourage you to oppose abortion are the same ideas that cause natural abortion, and that really pisses me off.

Between 2009 and 2010, Tina and I tried some fertility treatments that proved unsuccessful. During the process, we grew close to some neighbor friends who were doing the same treatments at the same doctors’ offices.

When we gave up, our friends decided to give In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) a try. Their insurance paid for the treatment, which costs upwards of $18,000, with a success rate of below 25% for this particular couple.

Tina and I don’t have that kind of money to pay out of pocket. Plus the process is severely painful and difficult.

Our friends were successful. They told us around Christmas time that they were expecting twins. Since we were the only ones who knew, we spent our New Year’s Eve with them, because they wanted to keep the non-drinking aspect a secret. They still had a month and a half before they could tell their family.

Regarding pregnancy, three months is generally considered the iffy zone (not the technical term). Once you cross the three month threshold, it’s generally okay to tell your friends and family, “We’re pregnant!”

Between New Years and the end of January, they lost one of the “babies”. But the second survived.

On a recent Sunday, the couple excitedly told their parents that they were expecting a baby. Let me also explain that this couple are god-fearing people. They practice their faith more than anyone I know in Chicago.

Not two days passed from the day they told their parents when my friends lost their “baby.” It was aborted naturally. This deflating news hit Tina and I like bricks, as we’re sure it hurt the couple, too.

Think about it. This “baby” was 4 inches long. It had hair and eyebrows. And these are the factors that “pro-lifers” rub in prochoicers’ faces.

Frankly, thinking about it makes me shake with anger.

For every natural child birth, how many end up aborted by god’s holy hand? Or am I supposed to believe that’s Satan hand? Bullshit.

How many people die in natural catastrophes versus doctor-induced?

Should Noah’s Ark actually have happened, God is a considerably worse murderer than abortion doctors will ever be.

Abortion-protestors and “pro-lifers” are assholes. You hear me, pro-lifers? You’re assholes. Especially, you Army of God idiots. Right now, I’ve got the Army of God web site open and it’s flashing the worst images you could imagine. Why does god need an army? And why does anyone need to fight for him?

The sheer fact that anyone can see a human as more evil than their god is beyond me.

Time for a witch hunt: Virginia Ironside is getting burned at the stake

Virginia Ironside

This morning, FOX News must be unleashing on author and columnist Virginia Ironside for comments she made on English TV Sunday morning. I’ve seen about five conservative facebook friends post something about it all in the same five minute time span.

In a nutshell, Ironside said that a good mother would pillow smother a suffering child to death if she had no other option to end his or her suffering. She also said it would be a morally acceptable choice to abort a baby in some circumstances.

According to this article in the BBC online, the writer says the danger is coupling people living with disabilities with abortion or euthanasia. You can read it for yourselves.

Murder is unacceptable. We should let that suffering child live no matter what. We should have government and/or social networks available to people who can’t take care of their children themselves so that those kids can suffer life with people who love them. That’s why I’m a proponent of information, of social services, of human rights and reason.

I’m pro-life, I’m for life, but I’m pro-choice (note comments below for explanation of redaction). I believe that everyone has a right to choose. A woman should never be told she can’t choose abortion. There are plenty of circumstances in which abortion is morally okay. I say this as an adoptee, knowing full well that my mother could have made a similar choice. I’ve devoted much thought and writing to the topic, and I’d love to talk about it more, but now is not the time.

Of course conservatives catch wind of the story and blow the longest, ugliest deflated honk possible. They don’t offer solutions. They pitchfork the guilty party, throw her in the fire and say, “See! liberals are heinous, morally corrupted idiots!”

Morally corrupt blogger Lori Ziganto

In a blog post on an über conservative fear-mongering digi-rag, the blogger, Lori Ziganto drags in the issue of adoption. At first read, I got really pissed off. As I said, I’m adopted, and of course information on adoption is going to bother me. Lisa Ziganto opened her blog with these words:

According to author and columnist Virginia Ironside, most adopted kids would be better off dead. As would most children she considers “unfit.”

Of course that is going to get the ire up of any breathing, thinking person, right? Ironside is obviously a monster, right?

If you read down into the comments, Ziganto’s readers believe also that Ironside said adopted kids are better off dead. The fact is, Ironside didn’t say it. It was Ziganto who made that dastardly insinuation.

In an attempt to be morally superior, Ziganto showed how morally corrupt she is. Shame on Ziganto. Ironside didn’t say anything about adopted kids being better off dead. Ziganto did. And now her readers are dancing off singing the same hymn. Who is worse? The abortion advocate or the liar? According to Christians, a sin is a sin. Moral ambiguity has so much to learn.

I would love to go toe to toe with dumb old Ziganto on the issue of abortion and adoption. If anti-abortion yahoos would give the issue two seconds of thought, they would all be atheists. But they aren’t. They’re usually a lot of bible-thumping Intelligent Design advocates. There is nothing more un-intelligent than human fertility. And the sheer number of providentially-aborted* babies makes all the abortion doctors in the world out to be Mickey Mouse.

Ironside is a write off. Or maybe she’s not. In that broad stroke of “ridiculous comment on a talk show” genius, she launched herself on the international market. Today she’ll sell more books in America than she’s sold in her lifetime. She’ll be the most-searched term that shows up here on this blog. She’ll have idiots like Ziganto to thank for launching her stardom.

Hey, Lori, great job accomplishing the opposite of your intention! … you idiot.

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* Make no mistake, when I say “providentially-aborted”, I mean that god caused abortions. Should he have created the human body, he is guilty of being the most insidious abortion doctor in the universe.