December 21, 2012
Some of FOX News’ and Bill O’Reilly’s war on Christmas is raging again this year, as you’ll clearly see in the above video.
Let me say this, if your Christmas is ruined because some atheist asshole organization doesn’t want to call the public tree a “Christmas” tree, you should check to see if you’re not the asshole who doesn’t know how to have fun.
If your day is ruined because the lady jingling bells raising money for all kinds of religious people over the holiday season, perhaps you’re the one with the inabillity to celebrate correctly.
Maybe your brain is handicapped and your ability to have fun is crippled.
Because the rest of us are going to celebrate … hopefully without your stank-face clogging up our celebration muscles.
December 20, 2011
Tina and I were talking the other day about how ridiculous the Santa story is and how you’d have to be a child to believe that shit. Because, I mean seriously, Santa travels the entire earth passing out presents in a single night.
Have you seen a photo of New York City? FedEx needs a fleet of men and women to deliver truckfulls of boxes.
Wait, we weren’t talking about Santa. We were talking about Jesus and the virgin birth.
I get those two mixed up.
Video via TDW. Thoughts via my asshole self.
December 17, 2011
More often than not, the pictures my parent friends are posting on Facebook of their kids with Santa includes their child crying on Santa’s lap.
Unless the parents are in the photo with the toddlers, the kids’ faces have a look frightened.
Which made me think, what if parents were to introduce their children other mythical figures, like Buddha, Muhammed or Jesus. I bet these kids would run from these icons of religious thought.
And rightly so.
November 29, 2011
If you’re embarrassed by associating yourself with the caricature of Americans gone wild, rest assured, these photos are about to make you feel much better.
I mean, the family who sits on Santa’s lap with an arsenal of machine guns and ammo stays together.
Yeshua was born of a virgin, lived and died for you so that you have the right, honor and duty to pose with Santa holding an AK-47.
And you guys get upset when I say I’m off to shoot someone. At least I’m capturing “souls” … not threatening to send ‘em to their demise early.
Notice the one guy with the “Infidel” shirt. Missing from the image is “I heart Michele Bachmann” t-shirts.
About the images written in the Daily Mail:
A gun club in Scottsdale, Arizona is inviting children to pose for pictures with Santa Claus – and a high-powered firearm.
Each family member carries their choice of weapon, from pistols to $80,000 machine guns.
Mothah fuckin’ spit to the mothah fuckin’ ding.
More here. Via JMG
August 24, 2011
Seen somewhere on the Internets. Originally from Explosm.net
Five paneled comic of little boy on Santa’s lap says:
Santa – “What would you like for Christmas, little boy?”
Boy – “I want to be a grown up.”
Santa – “No problem. In fact we can start right now!”
Final panel, Santa lowers his beard and says, “I’m not real.”
January 5, 2011
The real enemy of Christmas! Hitler Klaus
Over the past weeks of Holy Days, I’ve been thinking more about the group who killed Santa via firing squad and posted their video about it.
The group was right. Santa is Christianity’s enemy. I’d say he’s more of an enemy than all secularists and other religious folks combined. To hell with the FOX News inspired War on Christmas. Christians should war down the idea of Santa.
Santa is an imaginary fellow who parents use as a ploy to inspire good behavior in Children. But shouldn’t the message of Jesus … the awesomest, most brilliant messenger of all time be good enough to inspire good behavior and greatness?
Christians are digging their religion’s grave by sharing their Holy Day with something secular, something Un Holy. Santa’s way cooler than Jesus. Santa offers immediate gratification. To children, death is a lifetime away. No matter how many times you tell a child, “Jesus is better than Santa.” And no matter how many times they parrot what you say, Santa is always way cooler than Jesus.
Jesus doesn’t have a radar tracker. Yawn, he’s all around you.
Jesus doesn’t let you sit on his lap. He doesn’t wipe away the tears of fear, hand you a candy cane and say, “Since you were a good little girl, I’ll bring you that My Little Pony.”
Jesus has bloody palms, moans about being forsaken and walks around half naked. Santa is a cuddly old man bear in a warm coat with a penchant for laughter and holly jolly folly!
I know it’s a little late for this message. But there’s always next year. Christians, follow the lead of these redneck weirdos … assassinate Santa and focus on really putting the Christ back in Christmas.
It’s not Santamas for Christsakes, is it?
December 21, 2010
This is an amazingly effective video. It shows how religious people are reasonable, well adjusted individuals with lots to offer the world. It shows just how sane religious people are.
There are three things that stuck out to me. Well, there were more things that stuck out, but let’s work with three.
- He’s reading from a scroll made from Santa-style Christmas Crayons. Red and green are colors that represent the pagan beliefs of Christmas, don’t they?
- He bends over and asks
Jesus Santa for any last words, and says, “You don’t have anything to say because you don’t exist.” Wow. What does he say to the baby Jesus when he asks him the same thing? How does killing one icon/idol while keeping an icon/idol on his chest acceptable? Is it just a little ironic that he asks in the first place?
- He says that they are a peaceful organization just after shooting 15 rounds or more into a stuffed Santa. Guns = Peace? Can someone remind me how this equals peace? How non-violence is peaceful when guns and murdering a stuffed animal are involved?
Name just three things you wonder about after watching this video. Just three. I don’t want you to overwhelm yourselves.
I bet this video is taken down before the end of the week.
November 23, 2010
This can be viewed as holiday fun or one of the first shots fired during the WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!
Bum bum bah!
click to embiggen
When it’s all said and done, though, it’s simply fact. I’ve been posting a lot lately about Noah’s Ark. Here are a couple other posts (here and here)
I lifted this from Friendly Atheist.