An Open Letter to Trader Joe’s Cashiers


Dear Trader Joe’s Cashiers,

When you are overtly gregarious with the person in line in front of me, but don’t say boo to my wife nor I, it’s slightly offensive.

The most you said to me was, “Here’s your receipt.”

I don’t care if my pro-evolution shirt offends you. At least say hello after giving the previous customer a verbal blowjob.

Best wishes in all you do,

Jeremy “Equal Customer Treatment” Witteveen

P.S. Don’t say that Jesus paid your tuition through college out loud again. That’s retarded.

P.P.S. Don’t forget how bad your turkey burgers are.