Hey Bats, Spit, Swallow or Pearl Necklace?

Ladies and gentlemen, nothing says I love you like a swallower. Fellatio is not fellatio without it … erhm, unless you’re shooting fallatio for porn. Then it’s all over the face and chest in a gooey, spermatozoa-, protein- and fructose-rich mess.

But when it comes to bats, they integrate some convoluted form of fellatio into their wacky upside-down amorous routines. According to this article, they (parenthetical comments mine) “Female bats often lick their mate’s penis during dorsoventral copulation (bat version of doggy style, but hanging upside down). The female lowers her head to lick the shaft (hell yeah!)or the base of the male’s penis but does not lick the glans penis which has already penetrated the vagina.”

I’d really like to start working out (or have Tina workout) to be able to work this into our bedroom business transactions. You have to go to this link to download the video to see what I’m talking about. I started to get excited watching it, and might use it soon for autosexual gratification tomorrow or Saturday.

Yes, it’s that hot.

I’m changing my middle name to Bonobo.

BonoboBonobos are another animal that enjoys fellatio. Bonobos are one of our common ancestors who exhibit the loosest amorous activities, most like humans. Well, most like sexually-stifled Republicans during their clandestine sex romps. But it’s also most like decent sexually-honest, normal people. Bonobos exhibit lots of sex with lots of partners, even same sex sex. And they appear to enjoy sex, opposed to dogs, and most Republicans, who look like their grinding through sex like it’s another day at the metal-working plant, bonobos LOVE sex.

To break it down, they dig girl on girl, guy on guy, guy on girl on guy. They french kiss. They sodomize. They bump muffins. They eat out. They eat in. They spit. They swallow. They probably even do foot fetish.

(Thanks to fucking fellating Sunny Lee for the link)

Atheists are Douchy Cunts

Maxipads. That’s what atheists are. Bloody, mildewed, moldy, bacteria laden cunt monsters. They’re insolent, ignorant, and they spout off boneheadedly without learning all the evidence before they open their mouths or type with their little idiot fingers. Now I’m going to go out and join a new group, because this one is infiltrated with bozo nose lickin’ wack jobs.

First evidence, insolent atheist biologist (probable closet creationist) Pz Myers has been tweeting that he’s in Chicago and he didn’t call ahead to tell me. I mean, COME ON. Remember CreoZerg, old friend? How quickly you forget all the good times we had together. [insert Pz’s face and mine on Paul Newman‘s and Katharine Ross‘s faces in the cheesy bike scene in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” riding around the Creation “Museum” campus]. I have NO clue why he’s here in town. I could have picked him up from the airport and drove him to his hotel. We could have had tea and strumpets, and giggle a little about Ken Ham.

What.
A.
Complete.
Asshole.

Second evidence: facebook. Hemant Mehta picked up my blog about the Yeshua Fog Conundrum and wrote about it at The Friendly Atheist. After he posts blogs, he posts to twitter and facebook that the post is up (I bet my family is marginally glad I don’t do that). One idiot named Andrea decided to respond and say, “Sure is weird that the guy (me!) would think no one would find his blog.” That’s not what she said. Wait, here’s a screen capture (thanks Julie!). Read it yourselves.

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Of course I’m being a complete bumbling idiot. I mean none of this.

I ❤ atheism.

It is bizarre to me that within the “smart” group, there would appear to be the casual idiosyncratic glimmer of mental instability lacking research before flippantly making ignorant statements. Before long, Julie will have two web sites. One for religious statements and one for non-religious.

I’m skeptical of skepticism. This exhibition of insincerely whimsical questioning calls into question the mental prowess of the group I call my own. Pick up the pace, kids. I don’t need one of you bringing the rest of us down.

Pastor Discusses Atheist Book from Pulpit

Listening to the sermon, the more melodramatic the pastor gets

Pastor of River Oaks Community Church Tim Rowland integrated one of my favorite atheists William Lobdell and his book “Losing My Religion: How I lost my Faith Reporting on Religion in America-And found Unexpected Peace” in a recent sermon. The church series is “What I’m Learning From God.”

You can listen to the entire sermon here, which I suggest doing (at least trying to). It’s a good reminder what happens in churches for non-believers. And it’s an excellent way for believers to check out what advice you can use to continue on your paths in the strength Rowland suggests.

I have to say, Rowland is a little wordy for my taste, and I’m a verbose chump. It takes him six minutes to get any momentum going. He starts talking about Lobdell around minute 7.

I have to point out that while he’s not saying not to read the book, he’s not really saying read it. He’s giving a book report full of biased warnings and fear-inducing counsel. I have a beef with pastors telling congregations what to think rather than having them go find out for themselves. I also have a problem with the perpetual reminder of how awful Christians used to have it. As if the congregation deserves the right to sit in a climate controlled multimillion dollar complex because Christians used to get mauled, tortured and martyred back a couple thousand years ago.

 

Bruce Hood, They’ll Eat Chicken Before Their Games …

WordPress does not work with embedding many forms of videos, so you’re going to have to click on this link to view this video from Bruce Hood, Director of Bristol Cognitive Development Centre at the University of Bristol. He researches the origins of supernatural beliefs, development of face and gaze processing, and development of inhibition cognitive development.

Click here to view the three-minute video.

UPDATE: I’ve been watching the rest of the videos on that site, and they are really interesting and worth the time to watch them. I just watched this on fossils and this on hygiene.