Congratulations are in Order!

Regular reader and future insanely photographed person Xina has become engaged!

Xina announced on Halloween that she has become betrothed to her sweet man after  — well — however long they’ve dated. I think over a year. And I wanted to call it out here at the blog, because I’m more than ecstatic for her and for her fiancé. Xina is an amazing person, and I imagine she will make a great wife. I am fortunate to have met this man, and he’s a great find. I couldn’t be happier.

I said, “future insanely photographed person” because if all the stars align (and Xina sees how much it costs to hire photographers anyway), she’s going to hire me to shoot her wedding. Of course I’ll hook her up, but not a free ride, yo!

I couldn’t be more proud to be there on her special day. It may be the first wedding where the hired help gives a toast. All while photographing it.

Xina is awesome. She has inspired me to write on several occasions. I’m indebted to her for things I don’t think she realizes. She’s a hell of a woman, and no matter what she does in the future, I know she’ll continue doing great things.

The topic of marriage is an important one for me. I used to be anti-marriage. Tina can attest. I searched the bible cover to cover, and because my church and school told me marriage was biblical, so “GET MARRIED!” but I couldn’t find it ANYWHERE in the bible, I was determined not to get married. It wasn’t until I understood marriage from a scientific perspective, that my romantic self got hot and bothered. Marriage, having kids, these are things that science shows benefits health, benefits the world, benefits you. I like what Bill Mahar said about marriage. He doesn’t need the government telling him he does or doesn’t love someone. He knows. His girlfriend knows. That’s all.

I want to perpetuate two ideas that our wedding officiant told us in our counseling sessions.

The first was that in a essence of pseudo Quantum Mechanics, Tina’s space time and my space time were officially crossing at the point of “I do.” There is immense power in that idea. No matter what, my family is now connected to Tina (Sorry, hun) and I am connected to hers (Sweet!). Of all the possible path crossings, this one happened. My family now is “related” to Tina’s family. Her cousins become my cousins. If we were to divorce, I am still connected to Tina’s family and vice versa. It is a huge, realistic, beautiful thing.

The second is that “expressing vulnerabilities to your partner has more bond power than sex.” So if you’re feeling torn apart. If you are drifting apart toward separation, double check to see that you’ve exposed a deep, dark secret. Get ahold of your emotions and explain things to your partners. These things bond you. Pull you close together. Sex is bullshit in comparison to being honest and open. Sex you can do with almost anything. Any time. And if you’re George Michael, anywhere. Vulnerabilities are expressed between lovers.

The heart-felt mind is stronger than iron. Now go use it!