Sweet Schadenfreude, The Best Compliment

I got the best compliment the other day. One of the families that did a family portrait session received their shots over the weekend. These are relatively close friends of Tina’s, but not me. I’ve given them thousands of dollars in services and products to these assholes, and they’ve been the least respectful and appreciative of it.

Man, I’ve learned from these mistakes. They are failures that I will march forward with. But this compliment was valuable currency for me.

The wife told Tina that her husband was disappointed that he looked so “old”. SEE! Wouldn’t that compliment make you feel like a million bucks!

I have fulfilled my artistic duty for the day. I have reflected life accurately even if it meant a painstakingly awful wakeup sledgehammer to the head.

This husband gives heterosexual marriage a bad rap. He was under the impression that when he walked into the room, he was the hottest, youngest, best built guy there. I’m proud to have been the operator delivering the news.

This unevolved apish douchebag has everything. He has a beautiful family and a successful entrepreneurial  business. But yet he thinks it’s okay to womanize, to go out partying, not come home at night and to be generally absent from his family’s lives. From the outside, it appears that the wife is raising her family in a single-parent home.

Nobody’s perfect. I know. I hate myself in pictures, too. I’m not sure I know anyone who does. There comes a time, along the same time frame as commitment or marriage, that familial obligation takes priority. If you find no pleasure in it, you’re not trying hard enough.

The dude is human. And despite the mistakes he may be making, he deserves to give it another whirl. We need these wakeup calls. He’s listening to too many of his animal characteristics and not enough to reason and virtue.

So to him I say, “Debt cancelled, douchebag! My job as artist is done here. Now go get counseling and help your wife raise your beautiful family right!”

Now, if the right would just open their eyes to how douchy it is to consider heterosexual marriage the right and only way and that homosexuals somehow don’t qualify to get in on this sacred and holy business called marriage, then we’d make some strides. Who’s with me?