Richard Dawkins Reads His “Love” Mail

November 12, 2009

The title is supposed to read “hate” mail, but I sincerely believe that the people who wrote these words to Dawkins are saying them from a position that they call “love.”

If this is love, I choose not to define it the way you do.


You are not Anonymous

November 12, 2009

If you visit Le Café Witteveen, you are not anonymous. If you post a reply, I have access to all kinds of information about you, including your email, IP address, your weight, age and shirt size.

Any communication you send to me, I reserve the right to publish on this blog and have my way with it as evilly and vilely as I would like. I will not hesitate to publish your information to the world including your IP address and any internet-affiliated information that I find about you.

If you aren’t doing anything bat-shit nuts, don’t worry about it. This message is not for you.

_______________________________

UPDATE: To he or she who is continuing to harass me by changing IP information/email addresses/etc., all communications you send are being collected. I will be forwarding it all to your internet provider who has a strict terms of service regarding spam and harassment. I suggest you check with your provider for more details. In the meantime, should I suggest stopping?


George Brett Auto-Tuned

November 12, 2009



I’ve seen this before, but my buddy Kent just sent it to me and I couldn’t resist posting it up for the shits and the giggles … literally.

When was the last time you shit your pants?


And You Thought Your Children Were Cute

November 12, 2009

Children don’t know the differences between ideas, races or religions. There’s a lot of responsibility placed on parents. Kids are sponges, and if you told them monsters live in their closet, they will believe it.

If you tell them white people are idiots who mooch off the government and they aren’t to be trusted, they will believe you, and they will go out of their way to avoid all white people.

If you told them a fat magic fairy exists who lives with a glut of little people and his doting wife in the north pole, they will believe you. They’ll even believe you when you say that on December 24 he breaks into all the homes throughout the world and brings good children gifts.

When you tell that child that some poor kids with poor parents don’t always get gifts, their natural cognitive dissonance will kick in and force them to ask, “Why doesn’t Johnny or Ashley, with their dirty jeans and tee-shirts with holes in them get any presents, mommy?”

The parents make a fast decision to lie to their children.

This is the game of childrearing, and I’m looking forward to it.

There is no such thing as Shadbreet (Sikh), Musharaff (Muslim) and Adele (Christian) Children.

I saw a video on the Internet of a child reciting the Qur’an. I mean a little child. Age two tops. Not only was it mind blowing that this child was reciting surahs with perfection, the comments below were gleefully cheering the child on. It’s mind altering to see how the believers treat their children with the same squeezy-cheeks enthusiasm as all the squeezy cheeks moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas when their little ones are taped praising Jesus or reciting scripture.

And kids in muslim families do it better than kids in Christian homes.

If you think teaching your children morals and ideologies of a religion are great, by all means, please, continue.

It is of foremost importance that you are well-educated and well read regarding your religion and others. Kids don’t grow up to become full ranking, carpet praying Muslims because it’s awful and they are being forced at gun point. They LOVE it. They think their religion, god, family, friends and pets are awesome.goodtimes.fun.stuff.and.nothing.could.be.better.in.the.whole.wide.world.

They honestly think that you’re as wrong about your faith as you think they are about theirs. Why? Because sheepish children will march forward with all the information you’ve given them without a whole lot of questioning. And when they do question, don’t forget to hug them when you say, I love you.

So just mosey on over to YouTube, do a search for “muslim children reciting Qur’an” and you’ll be on your way to viewing all the muslimy goodness and responses so chockfull of squeezy-cheeks positivity, your world may self implode.

Take for example the one that falls at the top of the list. The subscriber says this about the child: “Absolutely amazing recitation of the Holy Qur’an by a young boy. It left me speechless. Can’t get enough of this recitation. He is blessed with a beautiful voice. His name is Hasan bin Abdullah Al Awadh.”

Here’s the video:

And here is a screen capture of the first page of almost 4,400 comments:

Screen shot 2009-11-12 at 11.16.45 AM

These people all think the rest of you will burn in hell for all eternity.

And you think they are.

I think none of you are going to burn in hell.

Phew. Glad we cleared that up.


Sean Hannity To Jon Stewart “You Were Right” About Bogus Video

November 12, 2009


Hannity owns up and puts his cajones on the table.

Yep, still hairy, but they are bigger than I thought.


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