Infertility Goblins

Closer to December, Tina and I will embark on our first month of fertility treatments and subsequent Inter Uterine Insemination.

Our hope is to document it and host the documentary here at Le Café in a segment I would like to call “Fertility, with a side of Holy Shit.”

I’m not settled on the name.

Maybe you could help me out with a new name. I plan on working up some graphics, and detailing the entire process on camera.

All that said and what that all means is, we’ve decided to have sex for the first time — ever! — and we want you here, to experience it with us. If you can’t be here, we’re doing a 30-camera shoot of our first time for all the world to see. Live.

Dirrrty, nasty, virgin sex.

Right on camera. Blood, sweet and tears.

Not really. We really are going to be doing IUI this coming month. It’ll be our Christmas present to the world. Well, mainly my mom and dad.

You may be wondering where dinner blogging has been lately too. We’ve been having repeat meals, and I haven’t been taking pictures of them. But surely the next time I cook something new, look for some shots. I’m aiming for a big dinner this weekend.

My cousin Jonathan is in town this weekend to see the Pixies at the Aragon. He and his wife may want a Chicago native cooked meal. But if not, we’ll go out.

What about Michael Meals?

This past Sunday, we ate out. Michael doesn’t like to cook every Sunday. We ate at a place called Mixteco at Montrose and Ashland. It was a little pricy, but very delicious. I ate a version of the dish served in “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” called Puerco Pabil. You know the dish? Johnny Depp orders it in every Mexican restaurant, and if it’s excellent, he kills the chef. He doesn’t want others enjoying it as much as he does.

I can’t whine and wine at the same time.

To be frank, I’ve been trying to prove how vilely bigoted, condescending and hateful I can be that I’ve let some of the other parts of Le Café go by the wayside. I can’t hate War and love gastronomy at the same time. I can’t be intolerant of the bible if I’m trying to enjoy a nice bottle of brew.

No. Quite frankly, I love this country. I love all types of believers. I say a lot of things I don’t always mean to inspire thought, because I think there are WAY too many people who don’t lift a finger let alone give the world, their faith, their ideas any ounce more effort toward thought than they do when they decide which pair of underpants to put on in the morning.

Thanks to you, my hits have been through the roof. So thanks for being here. Thanks for coming back. I think you look marvelous in the top your wearing. Where did you get such a great pair of pants? Wow, your smile is to die for.



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