Pat Robertson believes a little red guy with a pitchfork (for poking tuchases) caused Haiti’s Earthquake.

Pat Robertson believes in a little red guy with a pitchfork, and he believes that that little guy killed thousands in recompense for a deal the Haitians made with him.

FOX News is set to release the paperwork about the deal for all to read.

The devil is a funny little guy, huh? Tormenting those Haitians like that, what with naturally occurring phenomenon. The devil isn’t creative, but man, he’s fucking brutal.

If you believe in the devil, I urge you to really explore the history of Satan, where the idea of the devil came from, how many times he really shows up in the bible, and finally — who causes more death and destruction throughout the 66 books of the bible. God or “Satan”.

Once you do all that, the concept of the devil will dissolve like a plop plop fizz fizz Alka Seltzer.

And I’m not going to link to what I’m referring to this time. If you’re so lazy that you haven’t figured this out by now, you’ll likely never figure it out. You don’t have to learn Hebrew or Greek. Just google a little. It’s wonderful.

Back to Robertson, who just might be the devil if he existed.

Robertson — see video below — says that the Haitians made a deal with the devil to rid themselves of the French in the early 1800s. This deal has caused unending chaos on the island ever since. He says that because the Dominican Republic is right with god, they are successful and haven’t had anything wrong happen to them.

Is Robertson a complete loony toon?

The earthquake wasn’t from a fault line that runs underneath the island. It’s not that there’s a geological phenomenon that happens sporadically throughout the earth. It’s that a little guy with a pitchfork went bowling under Haiti, and he hit a strike yesterday at 5:30 p.m.


These are things illiterate and ignorant people tell children to scare them to death which no one should ever do, but that’s Robertson … a self-proclaimed father to his mangy mindless sheep bah’ing through fields.

Robertson wants you to think that a newborn Haitian baby — who has no connection to the past actions of Haiti’s leaders — deserves punishment from Satan? Really? If you can say “yes” with a straight face, I feel sorry for you and I would have to say that I find you awful. And in reference to my previous post, you also believe that god knew about this from the moment the world was created. He knew that little baby Island St. Pierre was going to die today, because he was buried under rubble from an earthquake caused by Satan who made a deal with his country’s great great great great great grandfather’s leaders.

What an appalling sack of shit.

Regardless of whether you believe in “satan” or not, for anyone to believe what Robertson says is absolute foolishness. If I were on his team, I would condemn that man’s words and throw rotten vegetables and loose fecal matter at him. What a monster. He expresses such little sympathy for the downtrodden, and shows just how small his god is with one fell swoop of his jabberjaw.

Here’s the video and a barf bag.

(Thank you SAW for the link).

Haiti, Before and After Shot


I heard on the radio that Haitian leaders reported walking over dead bodies while surveying the damage. They could also hear ones who were still alive crying from the rubble. Other reports say that men and women are working with their bare hands to remove rubble to save those buried beneath the debris.

Hopefully, you have started to make plans for blood donations and monitory donations to the Salvation Army. Here’s a link in case your google is broken.

Imagine for a second that what you’re doing right now (reading this blog) is suddenly interrupted by the supports beneath you falling out and the roof above you caving in. After you’ve stopped screaming from the shock of not only being frightened, but not being fully aware of why you fell 10 feet and the walls are laying on top of you, and it’s now pitch black. Imagine you’re badly hurt. A bone is exposed in your arm, and your bleeding profusely. You can feel the bone through a pocket of space that allows you to move, but your legs are trapped. Despite the weight, you can hold the wound with your other hand. Your legs are crushed, and the pain shooting through your body is excruciating. Then you realize, your child was in the adjacent room asleep. Faintly, you can hear her crying, hurt but still alive. You vomit from nausea. You vomit from pain.

Should you be saved from this disaster and in your mind you believe that it is a miracle from heaven that you are alive, remind yourself that at the beginning of time, heaven planned out this catastrophe. This was placed on your path by the all mighty. In this situation, you may live, but without the use of your broken arm. You may have both legs amputated, and forever stuck in a wheelchair. Your child would likely die. Perhaps your spouse or partner was out and died. Imagine how you might feel.

Scrutinize the very things you’re taught to believe. They don’t add up to any comprehensible ounce of love or compassion. For when you give credit to the heavens for finding your car keys, getting you a promotion or a good grade on a paper, you sure as hell better give credit where credit is due when the truly heinous things happen.

Like Leah says on her blog, “My philosophy is that anything worth believing in should be able to stand up to scrutiny, and questions should lead to answers, not fear.”

Motivate well wishes and prayers with donations of blood and money. These things will satiate more need during this awful time.

τετραφάρμακος, Good for What Ales You

The tetrapharmakos as found in the Herculaneum papyrus in the Villa of the Papyri.

Are you an Epicurean? Do you wish you were a better Epicurean, if you aren’t one?

Are you confused?

Epicurus coined the term “τετραφάρμακος”. Such a pretty word.

In English, it’s Tetrapharmakos, a.k.a. “a four-part cure”. Epicurus was the pre-Jesus era philosopher who offered many ways to keep people’s brains in a healthy state.

The Tetrapharmakos?

How about this four-part cure for what ales you (emphasis mine*):

  1. Don’t fear god,
  2. Don’t worry about death;
  3. What is good is easy to get, and
  4. What is terrible is easy to endure.
τετραφάρμακος, Good for What Ales You.
*Did you see that? I emphasized everything. I know! Hilarious. Bah dum pah.
I’m here all night. Tip your wait staff.