Yeshua really doesn’t know what you’re going through

While I was driving back from the debate Wednesday morning, my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel of my rented SmartCar™. The wind was blowing snow over the road in front of me at some 30 miles an hour, and it was scaring the crap out of me.

If I were watching this happening as if it were a movie from the comfort of my home, I may not have been so frightened. It was really quite cool. It looked like nature was doing one of those aerodynamics tests over the street with a steady stream of snow. Were I not driving, I would have provided you with video footage.

As it were, this wind and slipperiness was sending cars and trucks every which way. Vehicles literally littered the sides of the roads. Trucks were turned on their sides. One truck was probably a hundred yards from the street in the middle of a snowy field. I was afraid I would blink and find myself upside down right beside one of them with one of my arms lobbed off.

The experience gave me a chance to think about the debate, meeting John Loftus and other atheists on Monday and Tuesday, and all the conversations I had. I genuinely had a great time.

I realized, too, that I was not the one who was on stage getting my ass handed to me. It got me thinking, as I occasionally do when I’m awake … That whole Christian garbage verbiage about Jesus loving you and knowing what you’re going through … you know the whole “Jesus is god who came down to earth in the form of a man, and that experience makes his relationship with you that much greater because he knows what you’re going through” … that’s some piss-poor rationale.

Really. Seriously. Yeshua has absolutely NO clue what you’re going through. Christians teach that he was “sinless”. It’s one thing to know temptation as a “sin”. I’ll concede that that’s part of the game. Gosh, how wonderful it would be to live in a world free from consequence … right?

The way I define “sin” is, I don’t say “sin”, I say failure. So if I lied, I failed to tell the truth. If you asked my wife Tina what happens after I own up to failure, she’ll tell you some pretty awful stories of massive self-deprication and mental destruction.

If I cheated on my wife, I failed at honoring Tina, our marriage, my promises to her, and maintaining the respect she deserves and requires.

But to not know what it feels like to actually fail at something? That’s the worst part of the process. Sure, any man could walk away from Potiphar’s wife’s bed. It’s the man that does it and has to live with it that sucks big balls. It’s the guy that’s been told all his life that sexual thoughts are a sin, and then when he slips up and masturbates … oh the torture.

I love the fact that I just wrote, “slips up and masturbates.”

Whooops, I just stroked myself thirty five times and a watery snotty substance emitted from my member.

Jesus doesn’t have one iota of a clue what you’re going through after you fail … or “sin” or whatever you want to call it. If you’re a sinner — and I bet you are (Romans 3:23) — you and Jesus have absolutely nothing in common.

Well, unless you look at it from an atheist perspective. From the atheist perspective, Jesus is a failure.

He failed at saving the world, because he could have actually done the things he said he was going to do. He could have demonstrated power by ripping off the devil’s head when he had the chance during the great temptation. He could have dispelled erroneous myths about healthcare, germs, mental illness, bacteria, viruses, soap and about heaven and hell. He could have written his own story, from his perspective, while it was happening so we wouldn’t have to argue over when and who wrote the books of the bible. Maybe since time is no concept to god, he could have reached into the future for a tape recorder or a video camera, recorded himself and his miracles, then he could put that tape in an envelope and write on it, “Do not open until 2000”.

If Yeshua really were god, wouldn’t he have done a more excellent job at not “failing”? Right, he’s a failure.

Maybe your response to all that is, that’s the power of forgiveness. Great. Forgiveness. Jesus forgives you, but — in the case of adultery — now your wife thinks you’re an liar, a jerk, and a big idiot. In the case of failing at debate — Jesus may forgive you, but the consequences will tear you a new asshole.

The arms flailing, drowning kind of feeling … the waters of Lethe are icy, lonely and temperamental

I get it. I really do. Suddenly achieving a celebrity-like status only to be dogged to the waters of Lethe.

I am, in fact, not talking about myself. I am no celeb.

When celebrities receive criticism, they own up or ignore it. If they listen to it and let it affect them, it will cause meltdown. In sports, my coaches tended to take failures and turn them into learning experiences. Failures were expected to happen, or else learning and success could not rear its pretty little head.

No, but actors, celebrities, sports folks, they all move on after loss, because nine times out of ten, there will be another opportunity to shine. If I were, say, an actor or a sports star, and I failed … If I were criticized for a movie role or slammed for a bad sporting event, I would descend back into rehearsals or practice and ameliorate my performance. I would not blame the other actors or my teammates for squelching the possibility of success.

Or say I play pool and I got trounced by an opponent. After the match, I walk straight to my opponent, and offer a hand of congratulations. I wave to the fans (all two of them). I don’t exacerabate the moment by picking up my cue, breaking it over my knee and proceed to tell my fans and onlooking teammates that they all suck and they’re assholes for criticizing my loss. I would become an even greater loser in this scenario.

That means I push out my chest, raise my chin up and spend the next two weeks on a pool table improving my game.

Improving one’s pool game falls into a couple categories, much like say, the art of debate.

  • One, you have to be a strong pool player or debater. One might say you have to be a master debater. In the very least, one has to become really good at the tactics of debate. There is a certain need to conform to a standard. It’s like being an artist. Sometimes you have to do a commercial piece so that you can fund your personal perception of art. Otherwise, get used to wearing those little gloves without fingers and living in a cold warehouse all your life using your own blood for red paint. This is not good.
  • Two, you have to work on your head game. In pool, if you play with confidence, it helps. But you also must play smart. If your pool game is limited, you have to work on how to maximize your chances to win. If your opponent is better, find other ways of winning apart from sinking balls. Sometimes it takes playing defensive shots. Sometimes it just takes a mental mind game with the opponent to rattle his mind to lose.
  • Three, you have to play to your fans. If your fans think you’re a douchebag, there’s not much you can do short of massive payoffs to change their minds. Douchebaggery never wins hearts. Well, unless you have an inferiority complex, and you’re looking for abuse. I guess that’s one way to get “affection.”
  • And number four, when a person loses, lose with class. When a person wins, win with class.

Perhaps my criticism of the Loftus/D’Souza debate should not be taken seriously. I wouldn’t. Is that smiling face to the upper right of my page the kind of face you take seriously? I didn’t think so.

If I received criticism like mine, I would get myself into a mode of learning and prove assholes like me wrong the next time. I’d get all Rocky on their asses. I’d run up those stairs and pump my fists at the top, and hope the soundtrack of my life and a camera on a crane was up at the top to show my successes when I got there.

I own up to the fact that this is hurting public perception in a major way. But it shouldn’t be this way.

It is above necessary to show Christians, Muslims, Jews and any other religiously minded person of whom I criticize day to day on this blog, that I am just as critical of the “worldview” — the term which I despise — that I hold as my own. If the positions we take do not hold up to scrutiny, we must lead by example to show that we are the first to point it out. Otherwise, we become worse hypocrites than them.

Religious people do NOT criticize themselves. They are the last to hold up their faiths under the microscope and search for flaws. They’re really good at whining about other ideas, but they absolutely suck at looking at their own.

It seems really weird to be saying this, knowing it’s for an adult situation, and wondering what good can come out of this.

Hopefully, Loftus has a mentor or coach who can help him take this failure and turn it into a learning experience. Didn’t Edison say something about failures?

Happy reading. Happy Friday. If you cook something nice this weekend, send me an email. I’ll post it up. FSM knows we need some cheering up around here.