Christian rock-n-roll, for the awesome win laughs-a-thon,

Final Placement is a fledgling Christian rock band from somewhere in Texas. My brother-in-law sent me a video of theirs that is getting some viral treatment they rightly deserve.

Check out the video (link). I was crucifixated the entire time.

The link will take you away from Le Café, because I can’t link to certain video files here. Only YouTube works the best.

About Final Placement:

Final Placement is a Christian Rock band from Midland Tx. It consists of four guys from Midland Christian School. They are currently playing shows. They dream of scoring a record label one day. The philosophy of FP is, ” The world is gone but not lost it can still be saved, all it takes is the people to listen. Maybe if they will hear the message and change.

Benny Hinn can’t heal you or his marriage

Famed televangelist and faith “healer” Benny Hinn proved that his powers of “healing” do not extend to his personal life. Reported last Thursday, Hinn’s wife of 30 years has filed for divorce. They have three daughters and a son.

From the LA Times article:

He lives in a multimillon-dollar home near Salt Creek Beach Park in Dana Point. And he has flown around the world in a leased Gulfstream jet to lead his “Miracle Crusades,” during which tens of thousands of followers have packed stadiums and auditoriums to hear Hinn preach about the Gospel and God’s healing powers.

Surely this news is only the tip of the iceberg for a very interesting story.

This may be the weirdest thing I have ever posted about, Where is zdenny?

Where the fuck is zdenny?

I admit, I check his blog from time to time. It’s a train wreck. It’s gone.

I recently got my first tweet from him. His twitter account is gone.

If it were one or the other, maybe I wouldn’t care. But it’s both. I just searched and his YouTube account is still open.

For those of you who don’t know, zdenny is a very active Christian evangelist, not just on this blog, but on many many blogs. He’s been banned from several, because his views are controversial.

At least for me, I welcome the controversy. His views fall on the opposite side of a spectrum that I don’t even remotely agree with. I’ve told him several times, his views validate mine. In response, he says the same of me. So there.

I don’t really know what else to say. If something is wrong, I’d hate to be the one to make a joke at his expense. Believe me, I’ve got a couple in my back pocket docket.

It’s only been a couple days. But it seems weird.

I don’t wish harm on anyone, so I hope this is just some misunderstanding.

Tim Cooley: Music Theory is only a Theory

Tim Cooley

Blogger and regular reader Tim Cooley nailed it the other day.

He said, “The theory of music, although it explains practically everything, is only a theory.”

He even posted this cool graphic:

click to enlarge

So obviously we should “teach the controversy,” right? If it’s only a “theory” that means, at least to, wait, um, what’s the opposite of a musician? Do we have a word for a person who doesn’t believe in music and music theory?

Is it an “amusician”? Maybe it’s someone who believes in music, but doesn’t believe that organized music is the way to go, so they are an “agmusician.” Maybe there are groups of “amusicians,” “agmusicians” and “freethinking musicians” who meet up and bang, pluck and strum things that we don’t know about to make their own music. When they sing, only they can understand themselves. The rest of us idiots don’t have the ruach hamusicodesh and therefore are incapable of knowing their musical truths.

Or maybe they are from Asia, and their form of music grew separately from Western music theory, so their theory varies from ours.

Cooley says,

It is my request that the Associate Board of the Royal Schools of Music consider teaching the alternative theory that a magical pixie assigns the note its pitch, according to his whim, every time air is blown into the flute or every time the pianist hammers a note.

I’m glad someone has started this movement. I hate when musicians get together and smugly tell me what music should and shouldn’t sound like. Or in the very least, what music is and isn’t beautiful. I hate going to concerts featuring musicians who have become experts in their fields of instrumentation, only to tell them, “Shit, man, give me that guitar. You obviously can’t play as well as me … who only has experience in garage band situations … in fact, my dad was in a garage band and knows more than so called expert musicians. He taught me everything he knows. And his dad taught him, and …” etcetera etcetera.

If you need me to hold your hand through this parable of Intelligent Design vs Evolution, I’m not sure how else to phrase it. When a person starts perceiving science through the fact of evolution, it’s like listening to music from a musician who has become an expert in music theory. For those of you who are musicians of any level, you know this first hand. For those of you who love science admiring expert scientists, you also know this first hand.

There is no controversy. There doesn’t need to be labels attached to belief and disbelief.

Read the rest of Tim Cooley’s blog post here. Go visit his music theory blog here.

Keep searching for the truth even after you think you’ve found it.

Shermer: Sarah Silverman sucks. Me: You wish, Shermer!

Michael Shermer is a skeptic hero of mine. I read his books and sift through his mail when I can. He knows me, too. He just doesn’t know my name yet. I know. It’s not easy to introduce yourself to a guy like me when I’m going through your trash. I get it.

But someday, Shermer, we’ll shake hands.

Recently, Shermer was invited to a TED conference. On the docket were great minds like Bill Gates and Sarah Silverman. I posted a video from TED yesterday, so you should already know the quality programing these people put together. Silverman is prime angus kosher beef for shit like TED.

Sexy Sarah Silverman (image Wikipedia)

I mean look at her. Just look at her. God, she’s sexy. Dark, wavy hair. Beautiful mouth and smile. A button nose so cute you just want to bite it off. Dark eyes and brows. She’s got that gorgeous Jewish glow.

Well, according to Shermer (link) … and everyone else … Sexy Sarah Silverman didn’t exactly bring the pseudo-intellectual genius she brought to, say, her movie “Jesus is Magic.”

Using the word “retard” apparently isn’t good taste during intellectual talks. But Silverman is a trailblazer. She’s out there paving the way for crass, wannabe psuedo-quasi-intellectual dreamtards like myself to stomp onto the scene and lay down a TED talk kick-ass tsunami style.

While Shermer is criticizing Silverman, we all know what’s up. Silverman took one for the team. Thanks for getting your foot in the door, Sarah. Thumbs up.

Insert clicky mouth noise.

I’m working on my TED talk now. That way when Shermer finally reaches to shake my hand, and I wipe a brown banana peel from my open palm and shove my hand straight into Shermer’s, I can look him straight in the eye and say, “I’d be thrilled to stop stalking you. Please take that taser off of my rib cage.”