Michael Shermer is a skeptic hero of mine. I read his books and sift through his mail when I can. He knows me, too. He just doesn’t know my name yet. I know. It’s not easy to introduce yourself to a guy like me when I’m going through your trash. I get it.
But someday, Shermer, we’ll shake hands.
Recently, Shermer was invited to a TED conference. On the docket were great minds like Bill Gates and Sarah Silverman. I posted a video from TED yesterday, so you should already know the quality programing these people put together. Silverman is prime angus kosher beef for shit like TED.
I mean look at her. Just look at her. God, she’s sexy. Dark, wavy hair. Beautiful mouth and smile. A button nose so cute you just want to bite it off. Dark eyes and brows. She’s got that gorgeous Jewish glow.
Using the word “retard” apparently isn’t good taste during intellectual talks. But Silverman is a trailblazer. She’s out there paving the way for crass, wannabe psuedo-quasi-intellectual dreamtards like myself to stomp onto the scene and lay down a TED talk kick-ass tsunami style.
While Shermer is criticizing Silverman, we all know what’s up. Silverman took one for the team. Thanks for getting your foot in the door, Sarah. Thumbs up.
Insert clicky mouth noise.
I’m working on my TED talk now. That way when Shermer finally reaches to shake my hand, and I wipe a brown banana peel from my open palm and shove my hand straight into Shermer’s, I can look him straight in the eye and say, “I’d be thrilled to stop stalking you. Please take that taser off of my rib cage.”