6 thoughts on “Lightning strikes touchdown Jesus

  1. MONROE, Ohio (GNN) — The police have two suspects for this despicable event. Made to look as little more than a regrettable lightning strike, witnesses claim to have seen two men fleeing the scene soon after the blaze started. The first, who police now believe is Raiden, was identified by a homeless Vietnam veteran in the area, dressed “like a VC prostitute.” The second was an elderly gentleman that police have identified as Shang Tsung. According to witnesses he was a very elderly man who merely narrated the event, randomly yelling strange phrases such as “Finish Him” and “FATALITY!”

    According to Special Agent Johnny Cage of an undisclosed federal agency, there will be a joint investigation with ICE, FBI, and INTERPOL.

    1. Arson is not nearly as interesting. Although the getups these fellas had on were pretty funny.

      The article you posted reads like an onion article. “Johnny Cage” or an undisclosed fed agency?

      What unbiased news agency includes an adjective like “despicable” in its opening sentence?

      1. Heh… it was meant to read more along the lines of the video game Mortal Kombat (Raiden was the lightning guy whose finishing move was zapping things to their death).

        I’ll pass along your concerns to the editors of Glock News Network though. 🙂

      2. I feel like such a douche. You two must have posted at the same time. Thanks for proving my gullibility is still sets the bar as high as it goes.

  2. I just read over at BlagHag that they plan to spend all that money all over again rebuilding it. Their vanity is more important than their acts of humanity…think of all the families in the community they could help with that money.

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