My son is gay (via Nerdy Apple Bottom)

This is a great post from a mother who’s son may or may not be gay. Whatever the case, she’s proud of him and whoever he is and will be in the future.

Go read it!

The title is “My son is gay.”

My son is gay Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you. I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts. Here are th … Read More

via Nerdy Apple Bottom

12 thoughts on “My son is gay (via Nerdy Apple Bottom)

  1. I don’t findanything brilliant on someone who exposes his 5 year old son to bullying so easily, who trow his son to catholics wolves (he was in a catholic school).

    IS not smart to set the path for his son to have the option to be gay. Words influence our actions, and our children too.

    The only think I liked from that post is the unconditional love she has for his son. Which I would have too if it happens to me, however I am not the one who is going to give him the option.

    1. Chelseamaria,

      I am encouraged by your response. It takes a great woman to love her child unconditionally.

      The article above goes into great detail about how the mother is not telling the child to be or not be a female character from his favorite cartoon. Once he decided, she wanted to support him no matter what. That truly is unconditional love.

      She doesn’t know for certain her child’s sexual orientation, but if he is, she wants to be open and loving … without condition.

      Hopefully you marked the box that will send you an email with my response, because I would love for you to answer this question:

      How does loving your child unconditionally include NOT giving the option to be gay? I’m tying to quote and paraphrase you at the same time.

      It seems to be that your version of unconditional love has a condition, therefore ceases to be UNconditional any longer.

      I would greatly appreciate a response to this question.

      Best,

      Jeremy

      1. Here is my answer…Sorry for the wait I’ve been busy.

        What I meant with “I am not giving him the option”, is I am not going to give him ideas or alternatives I won’t like him to choose in the future. This kid is just 5 years old, an age when kids are starting to learn what is appropriate for them and what is not in the world they live. They are watching their closest roles, they are discovering their own personalities and preferences in life.
        Anything we say is an influence on their life, anything we do builds their values.
        If I want my boys to be men who like women, I won’t be promoting that wearing lipstick or dressing like a girl is an appropriate thing for a man.
        I would tell them what is appropriate for men and what is appropriate for women. If homosexuality is definitely something they were born with, it will show in many different occasions through life, especially when teens, until that is something so obvious that a family really will have to accept it.
        Otherwise I found very premature from a mom to conclude at this age (5) that very probably her son will be gay, just because he wanted to dress like Daphne on Halloween.
        I can’t imagine one single woman wishing their kids to be homosexuals and just openly giving them at age 5 that option.
        This kid probably would never be gay, and he could hate her mother later for having written this blog, with the sentencing title of “My son is gay”, at such a premature age in life as 5 years old. Much people didn’t even read the whole article, but just the title. How about their friends at school printing his photo and bullying him. This kid will grow very quick and the post will remain online. This is just the world in what we live.
        We live in communities, with culture, religions, prejudices and we cannot just walk out and do whatever we want without thinking in the effects on others, even in our own families.
        If I were in her shoes, I would have tried to see how strong his will is to dress like Daphne. He would probably find another option easily.
        And if based on the premise that in Halloween, you can be just whoever you want to be… that is ok, I’ll go with that, but I would allowed him to dress like Daphne at home to play and clearly explain that is the kind of things we do just with our family. And clearly explain that the dangers for him to go outside dressed like that.
        It is totally normal for a boy to like girls’ type of things at an early age. I would recommend everybody to check babycenter.com the section of big kid. or search the articles they have on this topic. They are excellent.
        What I mean is, as a mother I am not going to influence his sexual orientation towards being gay, as a type of decision that is all right. My personal opinion towards homosexuality is that is not a natural thing in life, however there are many people who were born with that orientation.

        I have very good friends of mine that are openly homosexuals, some of them say they were born like that, but some others just took the option to change later in life and adjusted their preferences for many different incidents in their life.
        My opinion is not influenced by any religion type of thinking, is just my own logic.

      2. Chelseamaria,

        I appreciate you coming back to respond.

        I don’t agree with you for the most part. You say you have friends who knew they were gay and those that decided to change later.

        Don’t you think that the ones who changed later would have exited the closet earlier if they had more loving parents and a more open environment rather than a closed atmosphere like the one you claim you’d provide?

        Homosexuality is not a choice. And people like you make it hard for kids to have freedom to avoid confusion.

        Just like I knew, at ages 3 and 4, that I was attracted to women, and I had evidence in the form of an erection that told me so at those ages.

        I have never had the same physiological respond toward men. But my brother in law and his partner, and my gay friends can attest to similar reactions at young ages toward same sex visual images.

        I feel sorry for you, but I feel more sorry for your children.

        Thanks for commenting and taking the time to return to discuss. I look forward to any more responses that you might have.

        Best,

        Jeremy

    1. And also, loving unconditionally my child doesn’t mean to let him do whatever he wants to do. I am the adult. he is the kid. There are some thing they decide, they are some others where I rule.
      That is simple.

  2. Well. Do you mean a gay man does not get erections at age 3 and 4?. How can you remember what you thought at that age?

    My very good friend always liked guys and suffer a lot in a relationship with a man. Suffered so bad that she one day decided to try and kiss a girl. She was so badly in need of affection, that she found on a woman the stability she was looking for. She fell in love and now she likes women, and also men. And her parents are Europeans, she was raised in an open minded environment towards that. Homosexuality is something you may start liking it if you try it… If I did´n´t knew this case I would have not even mentioned it. cause I know is also something you´re born with.

    If you want to feel sorry for someone, think about Haitian little boys dying on colera, or kids of raped women in Africa…

    Mine at least have a mother and father that care about them growing healthy and sane.

    I see is difficult to have this kind of discussions without entering in personal attacks..

    1. You don’t remember being 4 or 5 and having sexual feelings? I don’t think my story is different from anyone else’s. I have journal entries from age 11 that reflect back to being 4, in which I talked about dry humping the ground thinking about little girls, and having my dad catch me.

      I am not saying gay men don’t have erections. I’m not sure why you would interpret that from the above response. Anyone who has ever changed a diaper for any male child knows that erections occur naturally at early ages.

      I do feel sorry for those people that you mentioned above. Take a little time to read this blog and you might have already deduced that.

      And finally, you should feel personally attacked. Your rationale is not based in reality. And ignorance is mind boggling. You aren’t able to read what I’m writing with some form of accuracy. And it’s about damn time people like you figured out how harmful you’re being.

      I don’t feel sorry for you any more.

  3. The problem with unconditional love is that it places upon the bearer the condition that it must be unconditional in order to be unconditional love.

  4. People who oppose homosexuality like to scream at the wind stating over and over how homosexuality is a choice.

    There is enough validated, longitudinal scientific evidence to prove conclusively to the contrary yet people continue to turn a blind eye to this fact in order to prop up their own personal bias against something that they are truly behaviorally conditioned against.

    They always seem to fail to contemplate and in most cases answer the question of how and when they chose to be heterosexual. I’m still waiting for a clear, concise, logical answer on that one.

    Please don’t point to “nature” and state some nonsense about heterosexuality being the intended default. Yes, opposite biological gender pairing is necessary for the survival of many species, but there are many, many, many examples of homosexuality in nature including long-term bonding. Also, just to throw a wrench in the cogs, how about species that reproduce asexually or that have the ability to change genders completely in order to mate?

    The exact nature of sexual identity is not fully understood but research points more and more to the fact that it is formed in utero so therefore cannot be a choice.

    Also, it’s extremely important to understand that sexuality is fluid especially among more highly developed mammals such – as you guessed it – humans. Extremely few people fall completely at the ends of the spectrum of hetero vs. homo. Indeed, many people fall toward one end or the other but the notion of everyone being either completely heterosexual or homosexual is not valid.

    The woman who chelseamarie mentions is an excellent example of this. The notion that she kissed a woman and was instantly converted to lesbianism is clearly a strawman (note the European parent jab). The friend had always had sexual feelings for women on some level and, when the opportunity presented itself, these emotions were realized in a way that led her to act more fully upon them. She is an ideal example of someone who falls toward the middle of the spectrum.

    During childhood development, the ages of 2-5 are prime time for children to explore their own bodies especially given that they can dress and undress themselves and do indeed receive pleasure from touching their own genitals.

    It’s so critical during this time that children not be shamed as a result of this because it turns a natural human behavior into something to fear and think of as wrong or immoral. We can all thank some ancient goat herders for this one. Instead, we need to teach children when it is and is not appropriate to do this instead of preventing them from doing it in the first place.

    As far as personal attacks, I don’t see where stating that someone feels sorry for you can be interpreted as such. Instead it comes across as a blatant attempt to derail or bring the conversation to a halt. I’ll even wager to say that chelseamarie has either publicly or privately stated that she feel sorry for homosexuals. It’s severely misplaced but I don’t see it as a personal attack.

    On the other hand, stating that homosexuals make a choice that leads them to be bullied and that it is somehow abhorrent to society and nature, well now that does start to smell of a personal attack against an entire group of people.

    Also, chelseamarie states that her opinion is based on logic. This is where the fail begins.

    Logic dictates that you do your “homework” and that you understand scientific principles and how those have been used to study human behavior and things like sexual identity. It would also lead you to understand that children as young as 5 clearly can begin to express their sexuality although not in the same way as adults.

    It would eventually lead you to understand that homosexuality is indeed “natural” and that our advancement as humans depends on us getting rid of the bullshit notion that men and women have set roles and gender identities and not that it is necessary for us to shame children into being someone they are not or that we feel is necessary for them to be.

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