Because the people there are both awesome and completely bizarre at the same time. This is not safe for work. A young professional woman spots an older, professional exhibitionist on the train. This is what happened:
If you’ve ever heard the David Cross bit about why NYC is kicks ass — because at any moment your faced with the dilemma of looking at the most beautiful girl in the world and the craziest man in the world — that’s why I love NYC, too. Because every moment you could experience the best and worst thing at the same damn time. This may not connect for you after you watch the video above and try to make sense of this reference, but it makes goddamn great sense to me. Honks.
“It is not comfortable to come to work knowing full well that my hands will be feeling another man’s private parts, their butt, their inner thigh. Even worse is having to try and feel inside the flab rolls of obese passengers and we seem to get a lot of obese passengers!”
An unnamed TSA Officer or TSO reported this to a web site called, Flying with Fish, which is a travel blog. It’s a collection of responses the blog got from real TSO officers about the new “pat down” policies.
Another quote of note that was painful to read for other reasons than you might imagine:
“Do people know what a Nazi is? One can’t describe me as a Nazi because I am following a security procedure of designed to find prohibited items on a passenger’s body. A Nazi is someone with hatred and ignorance in their hearts, a person who carried out actions of execution and extermination of those based on their religion, origins or sexual preferences. I work to make travel safer, even if I do not agree with the current security procedures. Further more, I am Jewish and a TSA Transportation Security Officer, an American Patriot and to call me a Nazi is an offense beyond all other offenses.”
I don’t know yet from experience, but I would have to say that I would have no problem with the pat down. Regardless if the person is getting off on touching me, it’s not like the person is going to take me to a solitary place and gate violate me. We Americans confuse touching for sex. As adults, we should know better.
When I put lavaliere microphones on people, I get to fondle all kinds of people. I have to grin and bear it nine times out of ten. The most important thing is to convey confidence. I touch men and women in places only their spouses touch just to wire a person for sound. I barely get off on it. Once in a while I get a hot woman to interview, and I’m more concerned with coming off professional than sneaking a boob jab or a butt squeeze.
If I’m not going home and masturbating to wiring someone with a lav mic, these TSOs don’t give two shits about fondling thousands of people a day so they can pull a paycheck every two weeks. And if they are, physically you could tell on a man.
So if you look down, and the guy giving you a pat down appears to be preventing a rocket from entering the atmosphere, call out for their supervisor. They’ll likely not have a job within the hour.
io9 superstar reader Hypnosifl has blessed us with this pre-Man After Man musing Dixon contributed to the November 1982 issue of Omni magazine (RIP). Dixon’s vision of a hyper-evolved human was a psychic, teleporting brain-puppet (“he’ll employ his expanded mental powers, “willing” nourishment up from the lake or teleporting himself down for a meal on the shore.”) Dixon also discusses genetically altered human organs that wander around nomadically and affix themselves to passing animals. It’s all fairly wackadoo, but we’re suckers for speculative biology like this.
Looking back through my shots from Thailand, I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume of shots. I still haven’t had time to comb through as much as I’d like.
Here’s one I found this morning. The attempt was to show contrast in iconography. In the foreground, fat and skinny buddha. In the background, Colonel Sanders. It’s a lot to think about … at least for me. I’ll just pass along the image for right now, perhaps discuss it another time.
Below that is another shot I found of a little old man on the street.