War, war … what’s it good for?

A generic U.S. World War II tank, a derivate o...
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Sunday night, I had BookTV on in the background while I was cooking. There was an author talking about his book (surprise, surprise). I didn’t write down the author’s name, but he was answering questions about war history.

I assumed he was an expert. He used vocabulary like “grand,” “Brown Water Navy” and “I know more about war than everyone in this room, bitches.”

I hate war, but apparently it’s necessary. War allows me to write anything I want on this blog. It allows you to respond any way you want. And there’s a lot of other luxuries it affords you and me. Go figure.

If the leaders of disputing countries would only have a duel (leader versus leader) or a battle with the head honchos only, that would solve everything! Why send young men to do old men’s biddings? Let’s keep the war between the people having the conflict.

I mean, I don’t hire a group of men and women to fight Tina’s hired group of men and women when we argue. Why should world leaders get special treatment? It shows that more money equals spending more money. I can’t wait till I’m rich, and I can have my army win my domestic disputes.

Yes, yes, there are holes aplenty in my logic. Leave me be.

At one point, the author on BookTV answered a question about whether we would have used the A-Bomb on Germany if we had the chance. He answered that we didn’t know if the Asshole Bomb would work in the first place. The science wasn’t exactly clear, and dropping it on Japan was kind of a test.

Then I correlated science and war, and how without science, American strength would be in the toilet.

Then I thought, why in the world aren’t all these war-loving, gun-toting Tea Baggers in love with science? Excellent developments in science have brought us richer, craftier, killing-y-er weapons. Instead of dumbing their kids down in home schools, they should be paying through the nose to send them to high-end science and math institutions.

They should teach them to embrace all of science so that they can have kick-ass war technologies that make America the beautiful into a leathery-brown high-end weight lifter gloriously flexing her muscles on the world stage of awesome blossoms.

If anyone is leading America into a weak, penetrable land of puny-ness … it’s those science-hating Tea Baggers … who’s with me!

Don’t forget, Tea-baggers, you don’t have to turn your cheek every time. Just when you think Jesus isn’t looking.

One thought on “War, war … what’s it good for?

  1. Very good point Jeremy. Unfortunately the answer is quite simple, cognitive dissonance.
    The science that led to the splitting of the atom, gave us lasers, flight, explosives, etc is the same science that teaches us about evolution, the age of the universe, vaccines, plate tectonics, and so much more.
    You have to remember, these are some of the same people that believe in faith healing, but they would never go to a faith mechanic to fix their car. It’s all about compartmentalizing their beliefs; I’ll take my car to the best and most reliable expert but fuck those “educated elites” and their fancy MD degrees, pastor Bob is the guy for me!

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