There’s an anti-kryptonite kryptonite for Yeshua. It’s green. It’s powerful. And it’s in your pocket.
Only he’s not afraid of it hurting him. He needs it to survive.
If you ask a believer, he’ll tell you the opposite. But really, without your hard-earned cash, god would go by the wayside.
As you’ve been told a thousand times, the single greatest entity in the universe is unbelievably powerful. He’s not magic. He’s above magic. YHWH is amazing beyond words and understanding. Nothing can be done without him.
I’ve been told NOTHING can be done.
He’s only got one problem, he needs you to line his pockets with that stuff you call money. God’s going to win NO MATTER WHAT! But he still needs your tithe.
You know how powerful he is, right?
You can’t get up in the morning without his love and benevolence.
The holy ghost’s services aren’t free. No, suckersiree.
If you want to get up in the morning, it will cost you.
If you want blessed food, it’s going to cost you.
If you want to find your keys, it’s going to cost you.
If you want grandma’s cancer gone or for her to understand why she’s in pain, it. will. cost. you.
And don’t forget the church when you’re dead. Write YHWH into your will. So while you’re reveling in his glory, we can benefit from the money that should have gone to your children.
The level of snark in this post is high. But the level of offense from the banner pictured above is greater.
How are Christians not offended by this stuff?
It should blow believers away that god needs anything from his followers. Do sheep pay their shepherd to slaughter them?
The creator needs your money.
The spectaculator — who has superstar attributes coming out his proverbial ears — has only one limitation … he can’t get enough scratch together to buy a fucking sandwich.
I wanted to reblog this post, because I enjoyed Maddow’s response. And I am enjoying some of what I’m reading over at SomeMusician.
So I’m killing two birds. Go check out this blog. And go listen to Maddow’s response to Weinergate.
I commented over there too. So just keep the conversation going!
I was taking a photo of Banksy graffiti when a man walked by. He said something about one of the pieces of art being “Voodoo.”
I said, “Mind if I take your picture?”
He said, “Sure.”
Here’s what I got. Notice the play money in his shirt pocket. It’s like he just finished beating someone at Monopoly.
A Facebook friend got one of those “Woman has an orgasm on a roller coaster” spams just now. The great thing is his (and his wife’s) profile picture is a graphic for the summer Bible School that they are running.
Here’s the graphic blown up:
I might be wrong, but don’t you have to click on that spam to get that spam?
I received a letter from my doctor this week telling me that all of my blood work, urinalysis and EKG came back with very positive results. Over the past year and a half, I managed to lower my cholesterol, get my heart back to a non-abnormal place, and smooth out my body sugars.
We had our followup visit yesterday, and my doctor was thrilled with my blood pressure results over the past 15 days.
She was on the fence whether she wanted to put me back on a minor dose of a blood pressure medicine. Yesterday, I’m happy to report that she said, “It’s not necessary. It shows that your exercise and diet changes have worked. It’s not to say that you won’t need something in the future, but for now, good job and keep it up.”
She paused and then she said, “To top it off, your resting heart beat shows that you have the heart of a person who is exercising very often. So I can really tell you’re doing what you say you’re doing.”
I danced away like an excited child.