Here’s about 40 seconds of one clip of reality-based paradisiacal goodness from Maui.
A freak snake was born with two heads. And it has quite a time dealing with its two brains.
From this article:
KIEV — A snake with two heads, each able to think and eat separately and even steal food from each other, has become a popular attraction at a Ukrainian zoo.
The small albino California Kingsnake, now on show in the Black Sea resort of Yalta is quite a handful, zoo workers told AFP.
The snake’s two heads are fiercely independent, are not always in agreement and like to snatch food from each other, said keepers of the private zoo, called Skazka, or Fairy Tale.
“Sometimes one head wants to crawl in one direction and the other head in another direction,” zoo director Oleg Zubkov told AFP.
Zoo worker Ruslan Yakovenko added that he tries to feed the snake’s two heads separately as they sometimes fight for food.
Even with two brains, the snake has proven incapable of speech.
Here comes the choot-spa revolution!
Wait, isn’t her last name Jewish?
The Freedom From Religion Foundation has filed a lawsuit against Texas Governor Rick Perry’s exclusive day of Christian prayer.
This, dear reader, is how atheists are taking Christian’s freedom from them.
I kid you not.
I have a couple points.
No one is telling anyone they cannot pray. We’re declaring using government funding to support a day of prayer is unconstitutional.
It begs the question: are your regular, church-led prayers not good enough for god?
Are public prayers more effective than the weeping screams of a starving child?
Gosh, it reminds me of that one time Jesus said, “Don’t pray in public like the Pharisees.”
Regardless of whether or not the religionists believe that their constitution is for or against state-led prayer, I point to Jesus’ own verbatim commandments.
What would Jesus do? Well, in this rare case, we have the EXACT answer. He would recommend keeping your prayers private.
Go, then. Pray as Jesus prescribed. Try non-hypocrisy for a change. It’s much more becoming.
With absolutely no proof of the existence of the devil or hell, Mike Bickle, an official endorser of Rick Perry’s The Response prayer rally, believes that a little spirit with horns and a pitchfork invented gay marriage to deceive you while ushering in the end times.
We are at the vet with Talulah getting her annual checkup and shots. It’s time to immunize against rabies and from diseases she can pick up from licking rat urine.
Talulah takes after her Tina. She’s not a fan of shots. She takes after me in that she likes to stick her tongue where it doesn’t belong.
Given a chance to appear as if she has one iota of brains on the conservative-loving FOX News, Bachmann still avoids the questions. Do her supporters really excuse this level of evasion?
I golf clap you.
“We’re doing the Earth a favor by relieving her of her oil,” says Pope Mohammed. He’s holding a powder donut near his mouth with his index finger and thumb. When Pope Mohammed hits the “TH” in the word earth, a little powder from his donut sweeps into the air. You watch it swirl and dissipate.
Pope Mohammed’s other hand is around a styrofoam cup of steaming, black coffee.
“How are we doing her a favor?” You ask after swallowing a bit of coffee that is sweetened with a little sugar, lightened with a little cream.
Pope Mohammed looks at you over the edge of his upturned coffee cup. You are with Pope Mohammed at a donut shop on Main Street. Outside there is an American Flag blowing in the wind. Across the street there is a Presbyterian Church.
A flash of a memory enters your head of a photo you saw on the front page of the local Newspaper. The image was of a young boy caught on a fence. Apparently the kid tried to jump the church fence, and he slipped. He fell and a fence spear stabbed his jaw and exited through his open mouth. The fire department had to saw off the fence spear before pulling the boy off the fence. He went home after some reconstruction, stitches and bandaging. The story and the image burned a hole in your mind.
“Oil is the pimple of mother earth, and we need to pop it,” explains Pope Mohammed.
Perplexed, you ask, “The pimple of earth … needs to be popped?”
“Have you ever seen a derrick fire?” Pope Mohammed asks. He has licked his finger, and now he’s punching at the white powder atop the wax paper in front of him.
“Um, no. Have you?” You ask.
“No. But I’ve seen ‘There Will be Blood’ and I saw footage of the explosion from the gulf last year.” Pope Mohammed is licking his fingers intermittently as he’s talking.
“Crude wants to burn [lick]. And whether we burn it in our car engines [lick] or it burns on its own [lick] that stuff wants to come out, and we should rid the earth of it for her sake [burp].”