Since 2003, we continue to build the largest homes with the largest square footage on the planet. Here’s the breakdown in square footage.
That means our homes use more energy to heat and cool than any other country on Earth. I mean, for real, fuck the planet!
We need more space to put our stuff!!!
Have you been to HomeGoods lately? That place is a treasure trove of cheap, Asian accessories to fill your closets with.
Space on your tabletop? Have I got a polar-bear-sized tchotchke calling your name!
We build and buy gigantic homes, and then we stuff those houses with lots of big, cheap furniture built in China by Right-wing Corporations who know where their money can get them the cheapest, youngest labor!
And these international companies hide their money overseas, and the CEOs of those companies say things like, “Look at John Kerry evading taxes by registering his boat in another state! What a hypocrite! Right!?!”
And then they sneeze into a hundred dollar bill and we collectively say, “Bless you, sire.”
We may have lost the women’s world cup against smelly old Japan, but we won the Square Footage Battle.
Where’s our trophy at?