Everybah-day, rock my pah-tay

What a weird week.

We’ve been getting odd requests business-wise. We might finally schedule a shoot that has been in the works for almost two years.

We’ve had some house issues lately that we’re attacking. We’re finally fixing our car after ramming it into the train tracks one day last spring. The parts are ordered, and it should be done soon.

We had a couple plumbers in, because our dishwasher was backing up, and my toilet absolutely sucks at flushing.

My dad and regular-reader Aaron have visited recently, and they both wondered if there was adequate roof-top ventilation to strengthen the flush. The plumber said that’s not it. My dad also surmised that the toilet itself was deficient … that the tank doesn’t hold enough water to be effective.

Yesterday, we happened to have another plumber look at our building’s plumbing and he said that the internal workings needed to be replaced, because the plunger in the tank didn’t lift high enough. But even when you manually lift that doohickie, the amount of water in the tank isn’t enough to flush the toilet.

The plumber we called yesterday said that the toilet is the issue, and recommended replacing it.

“Damn,” I said. “I just saw a toilet out in the alley last week.”

He laughed.

He told me he could get me a toilet for $175 and install it for $80. I looked at Home Depot, and toilets are around $225 or more. I think it’s a pretty good deal.

One time within the last year, I had a spot of flu. I vomited a couple times, and because my toilet doesn’t flush well, I think I vomited more from the odor of not being able to flush my potty (hence the title “rock my pah-tay” above.

You’re welcome for telling that story. 

Right before regular-reader Xina and her husband visited, we noticed a few flies in our kitchen. By the time Xina and Mr X were in the kitchen, we seemed to be overrun with lethargic flies doing their native dances on the windows.

We used a trusty fly swatter to eliminate what seemed like hundreds of flies. We were embarrassed of the problem, but couldn’t determine a source.

Once in while, I like to hide a piece of raw meat in the kitchen and see who can find it first, Talulah or Tina. But I hadn’t done that recently.

When Aaron visited, we were still seeing the flies, and he guessed that maybe a dead rodent somewhere in the walls was the culprit. But we couldn’t smell it. The second day that Aaron was here, the flies seemed to stop.

We determined that Aaron has supernatural powers. We built him a shrine, with candles and streamers. Then killed him, hoping he’d raise from the dead.

Now the flies are back, and we’re on the run for homicide.


We think the flies might have come from a rotten potato that our next door neighbor found under her sink. Our walls aren’t exactly closed off. If flies were under her sink, they could have found their way into our place.

All in all, we’re doing okay. I can’t wait to sit on my new john once installed. Maybe I’ll take pictures and share with you. I’m sure you’d love the beautiful body function art that I make.

We’ve had some other news that I’m not ready to share yet. And we have some other home-fixing issues that need to be addressed soon.

So keep checking back like 15 million times a day until. I appreciate it.

9 thoughts on “Everybah-day, rock my pah-tay

  1. Mr. X offered to shoot those flies for you. You should have taken him up on it.

    I want to know your other news. You’ve piqued my curiosity.

  2. Just another day at Le Café … a guest offers to shoot the flies from the walls.

    I’ve always wanted real bullet holes in my kitchen. It would show who my friends really are.


  3. I don’t buy that it is the toilet that is deficient, Have you ever seen how simple they are? My guess is that you have hard water and that you have calcium deposits that impede water flow.
    Getting a new toilet will fix the problem for now, but I’m not confident it won’t come back if that is the actual problem.

    I will second Xina, you need to tell us big news once you call “big news”, otherwise we just stew over it and resent you.

    See? I resent you already………

  4. I really hope Aaron or the Old Fart jump in on this one to back me up.

    I mean, my dad and Aaron single-handedly backed up the toilet themselves while they were visiting.


    Tina’s toilet is almost literally beside my toilet. The bathrooms are side by side. Hers flushes like a dream.

    The water tank on my toilet doesn’t hold enough water to give it a proper flush. If you supplement water to the flush, it will flush well.

    It’s not the hardness of the water.

    Added my toilet isn’t bolted down properly. It was a self-install. The previous owners flipped our place and did a lot of the work themselves. I cannot just tighten the bolts for some reason. It’s really shoddy work.

    I’d rather have a professional replace it and lock it down properly.

    He said if it doesn’t work, he won’t charge me.

    And if it stops working again, I’ll extravagantly buy a new toilet again when it does.

  5. Growing up, I lived in a house that had one of the low flow toilets that was a result of the conservation movement of the 1970’s.

    It looked just like a normal toilet except it had baffles in the tank that prevented it from filling with as much water. Damn thing sometimes took 3 or 4 flushes to get things moving on their way.

    However, some of the modern low flow jobs are pretty damn awesome and do a great job.


    Just be thankful you don’t have to use a German toilet. They apparently are pretty hideous.


    all this reminds me of one of my favorite sitcoms, Married with Children.

    You all can thank me later for this bit of knowledge. 😉

  6. I don’t buy the new toilet recommendation from the plumber. The fact that the diswasher has started joining in on this trend tells me there’s more than a flusher valve issue. And given the fact that you said it has gotten worse over time, makes me think that your sewer pipes are slowly beginning to sieze up (iron pipes unless it hasn’t been updated). It may be time to call Roto Rooter. Also, ask the neighbor below you if they have been having similar problems. I don’t think the toilet is the issue. However, he did say he wouldn’t charge you if it didn’t work, so at the very least you’d get a new toilet out of the deal before calling R & R. Good luck.

  7. The dishwasher is gray water. It’s a different line. The clog there was over time and still didn’t fix.

    The plumber snaked the toilet with a six footer and the building has been roto rooted twice lately.

    I’ve tried the supplemental water experiment several times independantly and it works. Ive also tried playing with the mechanics inside.

    I’ve had the plunger next to my toilet for a couple years.

    Does any of this seemingly new info change any minds, doctors?

  8. Home depot sells really good toilets .. for les than $100

    This old Fart will install for a lot less .. But then I guess Chicago money has been more devalued than Southern money .

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