Now you can use either of our toilets

Defecation in the sitting position, as used in...
Image via Wikipedia

Phew! Thanks to everyone who contributed to this post about my potty problems. You all did well to freak me out about my decision to have the damn toilet replaced.

We had the plumber replace the toilet. And now every time I flush, I sing out praises to the universe for modern plumbing.

I mean, how awesome is it to have a bowel movement and watch it disappear with the push of a lever!

Many of you experience this everyday and don’t give it a second thought. For I don’t know how long, my toilet may as well been a Port-a-John. You never knew if the dump you took yesterday was going to wave at you again today.

The plumbers showed up on Friday morning with a box from Home Depot. The toilet cost $150 with tax. They removed the toilet and there was a nasty ring of red slime around where the base was. It was probably indicative of a small leak around the base.

The flange was plastic. Apparently they are supposed to be metal. The plastic was really beat up, and could have been a huge part of the problem. But the old toilet wouldn’t lock down to the floor, and that contributed to the way the flange ended up.

The toilet is a low-flow toilet, but the power behind the flush is amazing. It’s like it’s hooked up to batteries or something.

Every time I flush, it’s like Mama Bear Sarah Palin is in my floor with a large straw sucking it straight into her stomach. That’s the only way I can describe how awesome the flush is, and how shitty it must be to call yourself Sarah Palin.



Unofficially campaigning

There’s nothing to criticize here. Just beautiful photography and sound. Just your run-of-the-mill super high-end video production from a normal, everyday American who loves America and Americans who love America.

It’s just a woman whose income makes your hourly wage a joke.

It’s just a regular-old, dumb American who happens to have a lot more of everything who unofficially wants your vote in 2012.

It’s just an average lady, with average looks, screaming at the top of her lungs that she loves America more than everyone … because that’s what passion is all about.

It’s just a video that ends with a goddamn grizzly bear standing on its hind legs and growling.

I can’t wait till she’s president and she magically fixes EVERYTHING!!!

… and then quits within two years to conquer disbelief in Antarctica.

Sarah Palin, what a waste of time and money since 2008.