The cuteness of Tina

Yesterday, if you looked in our back window (like the stalkers you all are), you may have seen Tina and I in front of our computers surfing the net.

Tina read two New Yorker articles that were the funniest things you think she’s ever read.

One was this shout and murmur by William Sorensen called, Text Slang for Baby Boomers where you can find such gems as:

NSR = Need some roughage

TXT L8R = Can’t find reading glasses

WWIS = What was I saying?

IV-NV = My kid’s going to big-name college, neighbors jealous

X2EZ = Crossword puzzle too easy

WSWS = Wearing socks with sandals

RxV–>BW = Got Viagra prescription, just need Barry White cassettes

And then she was also giggling her cute booty off about this one from Paul Simm’s titled God’s Blog. 

There were funny lines like:

Not enough action. Needs more conflict. Maybe put in a whole bunch more people, limit the resources, and see if we can get some fights going. Give them different skin colors so they can tell each other apart.

And …

Wow. Just wow. I don’t even know where to start. So the man and his buddy the rib-thing have dominion over everything. They’re going to get pretty unbearable really fast. What You need to do is make them think that there were other, bigger, scarier creatures around a long time before them. I suggest dinosaurs. No need to actually create dinosaurs—just create some weird-ass dinosaur bones and skeletons and bury them in random locations. Man will dig them up eventually and think, What the f?

Now you, too, can share in the cuteness that is Tina.

The resurrection of Marjoe

Ready your gag muscle for this one. There’s been talk of a child preacher show on NatGeo that I have seen listed. The little tyke was featured on NBC recently, and it’s nauseatingly sad.

Kanon Tipton’s dad and grandfather are preachers. Kanon wants to be a preacher because his daddy is a preacher.

Hey Kandi and Damon, we’ve seen this one before. His name is Marjoe, and he showed us how he did it.

The only difference between Kanon and Marjoe … Kanon hasn’t figured out you’re egregiously exploiting him for your profit yet.

I mean, you even combined your stupid names together to make his name. Marjoe was a combination of Mary and Joseph …

You two are sick people.

 

Today in future presidents: Michele Bachmann

The stupid keeps burning brightly with this one. Check out this mega-amazing video of Michele:

I also saw this amazing quote from Bach-mama that will thrill you, if not make you want to re-elect her for 2016:

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

Hurricanes that happen in hurricane season … must be the almighty!

Earthquakes happen all the time for eons … must be the powerful hand of YAHWEH.

What is he telling me? I just DON’T know!

I know one thing: God was clear about not invoking his name in vain. It’s a 10 commandment after all. But what would you expect from a person who prays in public?

Photographers that inspire me: Henri Cartier Bresson

Photo by Henri Cartier Bresson

This morning, I saw a blog from Eric Kim called, “10 Things Henri Cartier-Bresson Can Teach You About Street Photography.”

I love street photography. I use it as a sort of “target practice.” I use it to sharpen my skills, to make “mistakes,” and to show homage to humanity.

Photography is my way of saying, “Hey, this is what I saw. Let me show you.”

Go check out the article (linked above) and I’m going to make a date with the streets.

Thanks, Mark I.!

This video will change your life

This is a car wreck. It might also be the world’s best argument that people need a higher power.

Via Clusterflock

“Epic creationist fails of our time #3”

Golden Crocoduck nominee Louis Giglio getting excited.

#1 & #2