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PP = Pastor Parent, you goofball.
I saw this story over at reddit, and I had to share. It’s a story from a Pastor’s Kid (PK) and how he found our his dad, an evangelical pastor, looks at porn.
Here’s the post:
I really should be studying for a test I have tomorrow, but I just couldn’t resist telling a story I thought I’d never get to tell.
So rewind a few years. I’m a Freshman in high school, and I spent the whole night working on an essay (read: 4chan). I’m on the upstairs desktop, and I can hear my dad typing and such on the computer downstairs. He’s usually up “working” late every night, so I think nothing of it. When I finally finish my paper, I head straight to sleep. The next morning I wake up, and head downstairs with my flash drive so I can print my paper. As I’m coming down the stairs, I notice that instead of a black screen, the computer displays the screensaver. My father usually turns off the computer when he’s done working, so it was odd to find it still powered up. I move the mouse, and there it is:
A bounty of luscious, succulent tits. Right there where my dad left them. I was shocked, appalled, and aroused. But I was in a hurry, so I quickly shut down the browser and printed my paper, before my mom could see me with my father’s visual aids and get the wrong idea.
This next time happened a few weeks ago. Our downstairs desktop had fallen prey to a computer virus, and we had it shut down. So if you want to print anything, you have to connect a laptop to the printer. So I’m once again working late, and once I finish I head downstairs to find my father in front of his laptop. I head over to see what he’s doing, and he minimizes the window. At this point I already know what he’s doing, but what happened next confused me a bit. I’m sure we’re all a little familiar the feature on Windows 7 which allows you to view the contents of a window by hovering over it’s minimized tab in the toolbar. Well, yeah. My dad is watching this girl choking on a Johnson, through a minimized tab. In front of me. What the fuck.
This last one happened on Friday. My dad’s been getting some use of his new headphones lately, listening to soft christian rock through the house. So Friday night, after I go into my room for the night, I remember I left my iPod out at the computer. My dad is downstairs on his laptop. My mom has already turned in for the night, and has been asleep for a while. So I walk out of my room, and I guess my dad didn’t hear my door open, because in his fury, he accidentally yanks the cord from the headphones out of the laptop and the house erupts into AH AH AH OH YEAH BABY. It stopped. I froze. Then silence. I grabbed my iPod and calmly walked into my room before laughing myself to sleep.
There’s a reason why people laugh at this … all ye believer kids. It’s because it’s ridiculous.
Check your beliefs at the door and leave ’em.
Here are more of their shenanigans.
Can you believe it?
Teacher: “Can you see god?” Student: “No.” Teacher: “Then there is no god.” Student: “can you see your brain?” Teacher: “No.” Student: “then you have no brain.” Response: Are you an idiot?
This week’s Wednesdog is brought to you by … surprise … Talulah looking cute while suffering through the 12.5 hour drive from NC to Chicago.
Her face is the exact same face I have when someone talks about Gee Oh Dee.
Like father like dogger.
Here’s a bonus pit bull image I saw in the Internets for your viewing pleasure.