Praise be to magical WoodyAllen Superman zombie Komodo dragon telepathic Jesus

December 22, 2011

I’m totally playing this a hundred times this Christmas.

This song just shot to number one on my charts!

Via The Daily What


Sarah “Slay Bells” Palin criticizes Obama’s White House Christmas Card

December 22, 2011

I purposefully wrote “slay” bells. So don’t get your undies all waded up.

If the president doesn’t have “traditional” Christmas icons on his Christmas card, it sets off alarms. FOX sends out the big dogs, like Palin.

But if FOX News and FOX Business News don’t have “traditional” Christmas cards, they just yawn and pass over it.

Pass over.

Passover.

Remember when the deity loved the Egyptians and killed their first borns. That was fun.

Anyway, check this video out so you can chuckle, too.

Via Cynical C

While you’re at Cynical C, check out Robert G. Ingersoll’s What I Want for Christmas.


What Yeshua’s kids are posting

December 22, 2011

Christian writer and friend of this blog Julie Ferwerda posted on her blog this morning, and I thought it was worth passing forward.

A friend and reader recently asked her,

“Hey Jewels, Pastor was talking at church today, and he said, ‘And there are some people out there now who say there is no hell. If that is true then Jesus died for nothing.’ I’m reading your book for the second time; it is making a lot more sense. Not sure what Jesus died for if there is no hell, was hoping you could help me.”

I can understand this message, as I happen to know that many of my believing readers and friends wonder the same thing.

And while I don’t believe in heaven, hell or Jesus, I was wondering how Julie would respond. And I find her response a positive one, especially for those who find themselves still caught up in the belief mentality.

I hate to post her final thought, but I have to, because it sums up her entire argument.

Jesus died on the cross to save everyone from death—Adam’s curse. That’s the gospel I believe. It’s good news for everyone, and its value is as far reaching as every human life that has crossed the threshold of time.

Read the rest of her post for more explanation.

Her explanation includes everyone. Atheists, Mormons, Hindus, Muslims.

Everyone, whether you believe it or not, gets a place in God’s afterlife, because he is that powerful. That’s quite the concept. Instead of a show of cognitive dissonance that god is all powerful and yet not all powerful at the same time, Julie’s take is, God IS all powerful. Period.

Julie has plenty of citations and references to back it up. And I applaud her for finding and relaying that message to believers who look at the entirety of the “traditional” Christian message and say, “Bollucks.”

I do not hide behind this all-encompassing message.  In the back of my mind, I don’t think, oh sweet … I’ve got a place in heaven … Thanks, Jewels for doing the homework.

There is no good reason to believe that heaven exists. And while many people might say, “Whoa, man! How could you? Wouldn’t life be grand if you knew you’d be with all your friends and loved ones forever?”

To which I say, “Sure. It might. But it still doesn’t add up when given the full picture.”

I would much rather regard my life as all I’ve got. And if it is, it means much more to me than the mindset that, “Oh, I don’t have to really get to know so and so, because I’ll have an eternity to take advantage of that.”

No. My time is now. Your time with your loved ones is now. Stop acting as if you have forever. What if you don’t. And if I want to know — truly know — family and friends, it’s now.

There’s that Christian idea that you don’t know the time or place. It’s true. No one knows when the death toll will honk its horn and pick you up.

This holiday season, pretend — maybe for an hour or two — that this is the last time you’ll see any of your friends and family. See how your mentality changes. See how you soften. You never know, you might like it.

 


What the funny kids at Tastefully Offensive Bonus Funny are posting

December 22, 2011

The kids over at Tastefully Offensive Bonus Funny crack my ass up. These were just a few of the things they’ve posted lately. Go see ‘em!

Comic shows Santa’s sled crashed into the side of a house. One cop on the scene says to the other, “He was texting while flying.” 

Text screen cap: What did the ocean say to the other ocean. What. Nothing they just waved. Oh. Do you sea what I did there? No. I’m shore you did. How do you have friends? Don’t be such a beach. 

Photo of white cat with black spots rolled up on couch. Reads: Never take this cat to a soccer field. 

Sign reads, “Whenever someone starts a sentence by saying, “I’m not a racist…” they are about to say something super racist.


James Canupp is squealin’ for, I mean, lookin’ for a city

December 22, 2011

If it weren’t for the setting, the common vocabulary, disproportionate self-centeredness and unwarranted egotism, you’d think this might be a joke. But it’s not. It’s just another lousy singer who has “made it” on the church stage.

Via Jesus Needs New PR


Lined leaf-tail gecko: evolution will blow your mind

December 22, 2011

Take a look at that beautiful gecko, would you?

You’d think it was a carving of a gecko, but it’s not. It’s a:

Lined leaf-tail gecko / gestreepte bladstaartgekko (Uroplatus lineatus) – Exotic Reserve Peyrieras, Madagascar

There are many reasons why evolution is true. And this is no exception.

Do you see these in your backyard?

Well, do you?

No, you don’t.

Do you know why you don’t see these beautiful creatures in your backyard? Because evolution secludes itself to local environments. And when animals lives on islands for millions of years, they gradually change and adapt. And creatures that emerge from predecessors on say, Madagascar, do not emerge elsewhere.

That’s why evolution is so cool. It specializes in making animals and plants change and adapt to their local environments.

Original image found here. I saw it posted at TYWKIWDBI. Wiki here.

Your jaw … on the floor.


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