Phew! Alcoholics made the cut

Or maybe alcoholics didn’t get cut. Whatever the case, this Baptist billboard is likely going to appeal to you!

I mean, don’t you feel that?

Do you notice that feeling of warmth and giddiness like the surge of happiness after meeting a love interest for the first time?

Well, so do I!

It helps that there are flames on the billboard that indicate warmth. That did me a favor.

It also helps to make a list of things that the likelihood of you qualifying for is 99.9%. I mean, I love being a card carrying occultist. Don’t you?

Seriously though, if you’re not busy living the life of an immoral old person, you’re likely doing some lesbo action today. I don’t think it’s been five minutes since the last time I bumped muffins.

It’s great that “Beer Addicts” are listed, but “alcoholics” fell on the cutting room floor for this one. I got a little worried that I qualified for too many of these so-called sins.

Pro-tip to Baptists: you can’t make a list of practically normal human activities and think, “Wow, watch ’em fill the pews.”

I take it back. You can’t put a list up like this and expect strong minded, individually thinking minds to go fill up pews. The gullible? The weak minded? The will be herded through your doors momentarily.

Wow. Just wow.

It’s times like this when I don’t see the appeal of belief. At all.

3 thoughts on “Phew! Alcoholics made the cut

  1. Nah, I think they count under “Immoral” old or young people. They’ll put them in somewhere.

    Unless they’re alcoholics too, then obviously they don’t want to implicate themselves.

  2. Yeah, I thought it was weird that beer addicts made it.

    Liquor and wine drinkers can keep on doing what they’re doing.

    Just keep your beer drinking to none addict status, and you’re fine.

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