Freedoms that make America awesome

In America, you have the right to be this guy, walking the streets, Bible raised above his head, with a sign that reads, “Be wise and repent. The time is fulfilled. The end is at hand.”

That freedom of speech and religion also extends to men and women like me.

Let freedom ring.

Were there toddlers fighting in WWI?

I saw this posted over at Facebook. It’s a bike that has been somehow engulfed into the side of a growing tree.

I did some quick google searches, and there’s vast discussion about it being a fake, but nobody, that I can tell, talks about the idea that a “boy” with a toddler-sized bike, locked his wheels up to the side of a tree in 1914 (America didn’t fire their first shot until October 1917, by the way), went off to war, and the U.S. forces didn’t send him home for being a goddamn “boy.”

The top of this should read, “Lest we forget” what year we went to war.

Today is loaded with train wrecks

Here’s clip from the never-ending source of idiocy and windbaggery Pat Robertson in which he says America is headed for a atheist dictatorship:

The comments at the YouTube link will tittle your tattle. Go check them out.

If this country is 80% Christian, and the good goddamn majority of them are gun-toting, cowboys, I haven’t a clue what fear-mongering Robertson is laying down.

Bestiality is real? 

The other train wreck is that, earlier, when I was posting about that hetero who screwed his neighbor’s Lab, I stumbled on this reddit thread about a girl who claims to LOOOOOOOOOOOVE bestiality.

If you click this, be prepared to tunnel into a world of surprise and sexual whimsy.

The person discussing their love for bestiality is waaaaaaaaaay too knowledgeable.

The TYWKIWDBI trainwreck 

And if you’re looking for a train wreck of good clean fun, just go visit Stan at TYWKIWDBI. His blog is a treasure trove of great posts full of wonder and amazement.

Let’s brainstorm responses to this case for the “pro-life feminist”

Beloved readers, I am stumped.

Over at Facebook, someone posted an update (an update!) with her case for being a pro-life feminist.

I’m too chicken shit to repost her words via cut and paste, so I’m going to do a screen cap below the fold. If you make it through it, I’ll be somewhat surprised.

I likely won’t respond in public to this person, but maybe send a personal message. I would love some feedback from you all to see what you might include in a response.

In the text, you’ll find such gems as:

It is not surprising that the Playboy Foundation is a major supporter of abortion rights, because abortion is a natural consequence of the Playboy’s ideal of uncommitted, anonymous sex without consequences.

And (emphasis mine):

But, considering the basic ethic of the value of all individuals that feminism is based on, there is nothing contradictory about a pro-woman, pro-prenatal rights stance. In fact, most early feminists, such as Susan B. Anthony, were strongly and vocally pro-life. Both supporting women’s rights and opposing abortion uphold the standard that every individual is deserving of respect.

For more on Susan B Anthony’s view on abortion, see this wiki.

Should you want the original text of the uneducated ranting diatribe essay, I’ll email you it. Contact me here.

I was thinking about starting the message with, “Sheee-it, bitch … you cray cray!”

Read on (click to enlarge):

Continue reading “Let’s brainstorm responses to this case for the “pro-life feminist””

Excuse me, mister, did you win the ovarian lottery?

Third world or first world, no matter where you are, you’ll find the faces of the destitute.

Above is just one face who looked deep into my eyes hoping for a dollar. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my old man is, carry small change to give away whenever you can. When you’re sightseeing or on the streets in general, bring small change and bills and just give it away. Quickly. Don’t exchange them for anything.

When we ran into people like this, you could hear my heart wrenching from a mile away. Or maybe that’s the ideal and picture I’d like to portray of myself. I probably gave her a few hundred rupiahs, but it certainly didn’t make a dent in her daily needs.

Imagine the girl above is you, or your daughter. She’s asking for a dollar. Begging for one. Just one dollar for some postcards. For a keychain.

We’ve talked about the “Ovarian Lottery” before.

While some will say things like, “Well, she’s probably happier than you or I. You don’t realize how happy these people truly are.”


Begging for bucks from tourists is a good thing?

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’ve won some sort of ovarian lottery. Where you were born and who your parents are separates you from having to ever sell keychains, postcards, blowjobs or sex for a bowl of rice and maybe a shrimp or two once in a while.

Does “God” have a plan for this girl? What about the hindu gods? What about Allah?

What is her purpose? To live to sell keychains to tourists? To haggle the price of a set of five postcards from a dollar to $0.50?

By the luck of the sperm and an egg’s fertilization, this keychain saleswoman was born of a Balinese ovary.

She will never see America in person. She will never argue the case for women’s rights or whether Obama’s Christianity is real or not. She will never stay in a room at the hotels we stayed in. She will never wonder if she should wear her Uggs to school or just a pair of flats.

Don’t argue that I’m the hypocrite. I am the hypocrite. As much as I hate the ovarian lottery, I remain boastfully thankful that I won it.

I wish there were a way to make it better for everyone.

You’re welcome for deflating your balloon.



Hold the phone! I thought you said “homosexuality” leads to bestiality.

A heterosexual, married man with two kids is charged with having sex with his neighbor’s Labrador retriever.

Did you read that?

A heterosexual! Next thing you know, heteros are going to want marriage with their neighbor’s dogs, cats, fish, porcupines, and squirrels.

Don’t heteros know that marriage is a sacred, god-given rite that should be between women and horses?


Residents and other associates of a popular building superintendent are finding it impossible to fathom that the married father could have molested a tenant’s Labrador retriever at the Rye Colony apartment complex.

“It’s unbelievable,” said Kris Lumaj, who does renovation work at Rye Colony and has known the super for years. “That’s an animal, you know. He’s got a wife and two kids, has no criminal record. I don’t know anybody who’d say anything bad about him.”

Kujtim Nicaj, who lives and works at the complex, was arrested Feb. 9 on charges of burglary and sexual misconduct.

Read on