One time – at band camp – I made this girl wet her pants

Sign on a marquee reads, “It’s spring. We are so excited we wet our plants.” 

Does it help if I had more ideas for headlines?

I was cooking in the kitchen, and I whet her appetite.


The other night I excited the ship captain, I bumped into him, his instrument fell in the water, and he wet his sextant.


When you wet on me, it makes me feel unpleasant.

Or …


It’s quittin’ time. Let’s talk cunnilingus with Pat Robertson

Nothing says red-faced awkward like getting a sex lesson from Pat Robertson.

I take that back. It’s a little entertaining to hear him babble about it.

Just make sure it’s between a husband and a wife. What you do between ya’ll and god is sure-fire okie dokie.

Which is why two men and two women can’t marry.


Oh, I found great info on cunnilingus here at the wiki. Sweet pics and everything. You know what they say, wikipedia is a gateway site to porn.

To be fair, here’s fellatio. Now go off and get edu-mah-cated.


Who’s that puppy in the window?

Bill Whitmire and I shot the local band Gag Order last fall. The leadsinger posted this picture to Facebook yesterday. It’s a picture of their poster hanging up at the Double Door.

I posted my one and only edited shot here. But we also put together a quick behind the scenes video here.

Hey, Bill, how come we didn’t do one shot with the entire band gagged and getting tortured? What were we thinking?

If I were making a camping, horror film, I’d buy three or four of these

Check out these unique tent ideas from a company called Tentsile.

Tentsile CEO Bob Barker says, “It seemed like a great way to get campers lofted from the ground for safety, for comfort, just until they have to get up and pee in the middle of the night or until the seems rip and everyone tumbles out.”

Or like Stan from TYWKIWDBI writes, this is a “Bear Piñata.”

But look how much fun you’ll have if you buy one:

They look really cool, don’t they?

I imagine they come at a premium price though. And they appear like they might be cumbersome to hike with. What do you think?

And if you think the tent maker CEO really said that up there, I feel sorry for you.