I get email!

Well, would you look at that. It looks like the reader who goes by different names over at this post will get his wish: Bob Enyart and yours truly talking on his radio show.

It seems iriewoolf or DMW thinks I’m not man enough to talk to Enyart directly to discuss how he bought (paid for!) a Starbucks coffee and recorded himself dumping it down the sewer.

Take that Starbucks! You can make money while angering the religious right. How about that.

Thing is, I get why Enyart made this video protest slash religious statement. I get it, because I once thought like him. I may have once done something similar. Maybe not as meaningless and silly as that. But something.

DMW got high and mighty about me calling into Enyart’s radio show. You can read the whole thing at the above link.

So I wrote Enyart a message. I wrote:

> > Hello Bob, I saw your video dumping Starbucks in the sewer earlier today and posted it to my blog.

One of your incredibly dim listeners reached out and defended you before challenging me to contact you directly.

Feel free to read the post I wrote about you here: https://cafewitteveen.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/see-you-next-tuesday-pastor-bob-enyart-needs-a-lesson-protesting/

Should you find might be productive to have a guy like me on the air, I would be happy to do so.

Jeremy Witteveen >
Head Chef — Le Café Witteveen

And he wrote back!! I very quickly received the following:

Hi Jeremy, thanks for writing. Yes, I’d love to talk with you on air. We have 50,000 watts from low on the AM dial, so loads of folks will get to listen in and think about what we’re saying. However, I’d request first that you remove the urination comment from your blog. I’ve often said about our interactions with atheist/evolutionists<http://kgov.com/PZ-Myers#filthy>, as with homosexuals, that they have a hard time talking without referencing genitals, defecation, urination, sexual reproduction, etc. So, I’d rather not link to yet another blog that references such things. So if you’d like to edit, I’ll be happy to schedule you for an on-air discussion. Thanks again Jeremy, -Bob Enyart KGOV.com

For the record, I removed the urine statement at the other post per Enyart’s request. You won’t catch me talking about urine over on this one either. Urine, genitals, defication, etc. are all topics that I’ll avoid like the plague.

Everything else that is pure and godly, those are the topics for me!

So if Enyart and I can set a date, he’ll have me on the air with him. And we talk about unicorns and daisies for as long as he’ll let me.

It’s Wednesdog!

This Wednesdog is brought to you by Talulah’s sister from another mother Daisy.

We met Daisy the other day while out at the park, and if you weren’t looking directly at them, you’d constantly mistake Talulah for Daisy or vice versa.

Talulah was clearly the better dog between the two.

But Daisy came in as a close second.


See you next Tuesday: Pastor Bob Enyart needs a lesson protesting

In the clip above Denver Bible Church’s Pastor Bob Enyart buys what appears to be a medium-sized (grande?) Starbucks coffee and has someone record him explaining why he’s dumping it down the sewer.

Enyart believes that his bible is more important than doing what’s right. So he buys (BUYS!) a Starbucks coffee, takes it to a sewer and pours it in swearing allegiance to a book that can’t get the price of tea in China straight.

It might be more effective if he recorded himself in the bedroom having sex with his gay lover and said, “Look at how …oh yeah!  … gross this …. ooooooo! … abomination … oh my god! … is!”

He could say “Down with Starbucks!” as he cleans up.

What’s even better is how he plugs McDonald’s — the largest worshippers of Satan since Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom — right there at the end.

I mean, how is artery-clogging, cauliflower-ass causing McDonald’s better than Starbucks? Because they don’t back gay marriage?

Excuse me while I go buy me a Café Latte Maxi Vente Enema Cappuccino Espesso.


The best PR to encourage disbelief, well, it’s belief

I’ve said it. I’ll say it. Read the bible, really read it, and an atheist will soon be “born again.”

Here’s a great read that’s making the rounds (below). It’s from Rachel Hel Evans and the blog is called, How to win a culture war and lose a generation The sentiment has been expressed before, but it’s still a great reminder:

When asked by The Barna Group what words or phrases best describe Christianity, the top response among Americans ages 16-29 was “antihomosexual.” For a staggering 91 percent of non-Christians, this was the first word that came to their mind when asked about the Christian faith. The same was true for 80 percent of young churchgoers. (The next most common negative images? : “judgmental,” “hypocritical,” and “too involved in politics.”)

In the book that documents these findings, titled unChristian, David Kinnaman writes:

“The gay issue has become the ‘big one, the negative image most likely to be intertwined with Christianity’s reputation. It is also the dimensions that most clearly demonstrates the unchristian faith to young people today, surfacing in a spate of negative perceptions: judgmental, bigoted, sheltered, right-wingers, hypocritical, insincere, and uncaring. Outsiders say [Christian] hostility toward gays…has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith.”

Later research, documented in Kinnaman’s You Lost Me, reveals that one of the top reasons 59 percent of young adults with a Christian background have left the church is because they perceive the church to be too exclusive, particularly regarding their LGBT friends.  Eight million twenty-somethings have left the church, and this  is one reason why.

In my experience, all the anecdotal evidence backs up the research.

Read on

Pope Mohammed and the Road

“I have a huge…” says Pope Mohammed. You’re both dangling your legs over the end of a pier looking out over the Pacific. The sun is falling like a disc into the water miles away.

Pope Mohammed’s hand digs into a waxy paper bag for a handful of popcorn the color of the sun and he stuffs a handful in his mouth.

“I have a huge…” repeats Pope Mohammed, he sucks the tip of the tops of two fingers before finishing … “I have a huge, Combine-Harvester type machine that I use to devour paved roads.”

You reach over and take a few pieces of popcorn from Pope Mohammed’s bag.

You furrow your eyebrows when you ask, “What do you do with that?”

“What?” says Pope Mohammed looking at you. Then he looks over the ocean and says, “Gollah wrote in his holy book, The Qur’ible, that roads were always to be smooth dirt. These new convoluted paved roads must be made holy again.”

The sounds of waves and seagulls surround you.

“For it is written,” says Pope Mohammed. “Resist what is new, avoid what is smooth. Do not let modern paved roads guide your path. Destroy them.” Pope Mohammed tilts his head back and dumps the kernels from the bag into the back of his throat. He lets the wind take the bag and it floats out and lands in the water.

You clear your throat.

“Doesn’t the Qur’ible also say, Execute those who litter into the ocean.'” You say with a bit of hesitance.

A seagull flies close by and lands on a pillar. It flexes its tail and relaxes.

“Don’t be a smart ass,” says Pope Mohammed.


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