Pope Mohammed and the Mommy Daughter

“She is, as a matter of fact, her own daughter,” says Pope Mohammed. He wraps his lips side-wards around a scoop of Cookies-n-Cream ice cream sitting atop a sugar cone.

You’re both at a baseball game rooting for the home team. Pope Mohammed is wearing a green and white jersey with the name Wooserbocker on the back.

The guy on the pitcher’s mound is wearing an identical jersey. You’re enjoying a scoop of Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (chocolate with shards of peanut butter) on a regular cone.

The wave is coming your way. You stand up. You say “Whoa!!!!” Pope Mohammed stands up. He says, “Whoa!!!” You sit down. He sits down.

“She’s her own daughter, who had a son after having sex with six hundred and sixty six virgin gods. And they called the gods’ son Gollah Joe,” continues Pope Mohammed. He’s now crunching a piece of cookie.

Two pools of white have gathered at the sides of his mouth.

“It’s all true. Every word of it. Not like those other fake religions. It’s the story of our lord and savior, Gollah Joe.”

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Gag me with a spoon: I’m a photographer … LOVE ME … RESPECT ME … BLOW ME!

This graphic might — just might — be the dumbest thing I’ve seen in a long time. I saw it posted on Facebook.

It spells out what every working Joe and Jane thinks every day, but isolates the focus on photography.

It’s says, I’m a larger-than-thou photographer! I work weawwee weawee hawrd everwee day making pitchers and stuff. I have to pay taxes and buy equipment. RESPECT ME!!!

Hear me roar!

Boo-fucking-hoo.

You know what? Being a photographer rocks. And if you get past the bullshit of being a fledgling, out-of-school, whiny cunt, you can get past all these hangups.

The trade offs are amazing.

You get lots of days off. You work from either your home or sometimes in a studio. You photograph maybe 5 to 7% of the year, and the rest is marketing and looking for work.

Eventually, you set your pricing to accommodate vacations and sick days. You become a corporation or LLC and write off things that most people can’t.

Photography is a dream job.

Yeah, it sucks. People don’t respect you. They want something for nothing. It’s a service. And when you bring your car in the shop, you can’t say, “I don’t think your services are worth that much. I’ll give you XX dollars. And could you throw in a car wash and a new engine while you’re at it?”

People try to get something for nothing. It’s how the business works. It sucks.

And the way things are right now, everyone can become a photographer. Swing a cat, hit a shutter bug.

The person that posted this likely won’t be in business long. And if they are, god in the heavens who probably doesn’t exist bless them. Because photography works like any artistic business. You have to do it a long time to get into the tax bracket you think you’re worth. And even then, you gotta deal with economic pressures and changing times. You gotta work your ass off, and continue learning. Overhead is part of any business, and frankly, it’s not nearly as expensive as a lot of businesses’ overhead.

There’s very few businesses that can start by buying a camera, a lens, maybe a flash and a computer. You can build from there.

And when you’re working for yourself, it’s a blast. The trouble is, it might take you a few years to establish yourself enough to do it full time. Keeping a full-time side job sucks. But pay your dues and get there.

There’s not a profession out there where people feel exactly respected, especially not the noobie boobies.

Did I mention that I hate photographers?

They are retarded. All of them.

Honk. Snap. Sexy.

What is a Higgs Boson?

What is a Higgs Boson

The news of the Higgs Boson is all over the Internets and news. I’m sure you heard, and if you’re like me, you knew the news was coming, because the liberal rags have been talking about it for a while.

The above is a nifty graphic to help you understand it a little better. I saw it on Facebook.

Otherwise, there are many articles about it. Start here or anywhere news is newsy. Google it, too.

Happy July 4th, y’all!

Bill was in Wisconsin over the weekend, and he bought a crapload of fireworks for tonight’s celebration for America’s birthday.

The above is an indication of what we’re in to. As Bill says, he’s got another 40 of these loud-ass mother fuckers.

So we’ll be bringing in America’s birthday right!

Be sure to listen in for a neighbor (Scottie) who wasn’t very keen on the fact that fireworks were blowing up right outside her window.

 

It’s Wednesdog!

Today’s Wednesdog is brought to you by sweet little Rigby. Rigby is a two-year old Corgi submitted by my buddy Ryno.

Not to rush off from the topic at hand, but Ryno is an amazing visual artist, which contributes so well to why this photo tittles my tattles.

Ryno writes:

interests include: eating grass, long walks on the beach and i believe her favorite movie is Mannequin.

It’s great to see the kids pick up a movie like Mannequin and help it become a classic.

Happy Humpin’ Wednesdog and fourth of July, ya’ll!