This whole video about “Sexual Brokeness” is almost a complete waste of time if it weren’t necessary to understand what these idiots are telling their constituants.
Go ahead. Watch this video. Change the setting to fast speed so you can get through it faster.
I want to make a couple points.
Around 1:30, the guy in the video — John Stonestreet — says something like, “We’re addicted to so many different forms of perverted sexuality, that we don’t even know how to have a real relationship.”
Yes! This is solid advice coming from a person who believes he has a personal relationship with a being whom no one can see, hear, touch or feel.
For all we know, it’s a relationship with his imagination.
Because when I was a Christian, my relationship with God was different than yours, and yours, and definitely yours.
If believers are confused about relationships, it starts at the very fucking foundation of what the believer thinks a relationship is.
I’ll take my relationship with flesh and blood Tina every day of the week. I’m not missing anything with Jesus except for long conversations … with myself.
One more thing. You’re not sexually broken. Stop letting morons speaking without any authority make you feel like you’re somehow the anomaly.
You’re not a hopeless, sinful, wretch for being perfectly normal. Yes, there are behaviors that set you apart, but there’s an app for that. There are therapists who would love to help you with the truth behind what you feel.
The church is the VERY LAST place any of us should get advice on sexuality.
Like anyone should listen to the folks who claim their God impregnated a teenager with a version of himself so that you can have a proper sexual relationship.
Sex! The very thing that keeps our fucking world spinning is the thing that most of us are doing wrong?
Nope. It’s the one thing the church knows is going to happen in all our lives and something it came make you feel guilty about.
Get fucked, Church, and go home.
Well, hump a day of the week … it’s Wednesdog!
This week is brought to you by my neighbor’s brand, spanking new Great Dane named Cash. My neighbor just got back from a 6,000 (total) mile drive out to Idaho to pick Cash up and whisk him back to Chicago where he’s going to cuddle with her till the cows come home.
Cash is just 9 weeks old and weighs in at about 30 lbs. You can see below that he’s already gaining up on Talulah’s height.
You’d barely believe that little cash is still wobbly on his feet and has trouble navigating the stairs without looking like he’s going to tumble to the ground.
These photos aren’t fantastic. They were shot on my phone. But we’re working on scheduling Cash in the studio soon.
I hope he still has those blue eyes, because we’re going to make those things sparkle! And those paws! They are gigantic.
Happy Hump Day to you. Make sure you find something, a pillow, a doll, a pie, to hump before this day gets away from you.
Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian, writes: “If we were made in God’s image, why aren’t we invisible?”
I fell asleep last night before I got more than one other Peeper. Here they are with delayed gratification.