Talulah is a gifted little canine.
There’s a wall bordering where we take her out to throw the ball. Talulah’s favorite game is when I throw the ball — using a Chuck-It! — at an angle against the wall.
She is able to assess the trajectory and speed very quickly, and determine the necessary speed and direction she needs to run in order to intercept and catch the ball.
Often, her catch is more of a snatch than a catch. She grabs the ball out of the air as it enters from the side and compensates for the speed with a head jerk.
It’s really quite phenomenal.
When I throw the ball at the wall, you can see the steam exiting her ears as her mind works to do that math.
Now, I know she’s not doing math. But it’s doggie math. It’s athleticism. Let’s call it, mathleticism.
If you’ve seen her do it, which many of you have seen, you know that it’s somewhat astonishing to witness. She’s no walking-on-water Yeshua, namely because she does her miracles in real life. Her abilities require little to absolutely no faith.
Of course, my little noggin starts working through how to integrate this mathleticism into a blog post.
I want to work this talent into a post about how Talulah understand trajectory better than people who support — say — conservative values. She understands how to achieve her goals better than any conservative I’ve ever met. Talulah knows that she can’t follow the ball outright. She has to meet the ball at the place where it’s going to be.
A dog just learning this trick tends to run straight after the ball. Straight thinking is the literal definition of Orthodoxy. Conservatives LOVE straight thinking.
Here’s a conservative thought process:
We have a menu. Let’s stick to that menu … we need to stick to the plan. Don’t veer from it. It says here that slavery is okay. But civil rights cannot include that. We must drag our feet. Oh yeah, you’re right. Slavery is not okay. Even though our menu says it’s okay. It’s not. Now let’s concentrate on homosexuality …
See. Conservatives follow the ball.
Liberals check the trajectory and speed. They meet the ball where it’s going to land.
And just like when an obstacle or notch in the wall redirects Talulah’s ball forcing her to redirect her plan of attack, liberals are able to work with lame-ass, orthodox conservatives when they force the ball in different directions.
Then again, Talulah understands trajectory way better than you.