Growing up, I had a hot, hot temper.
No, it was the kind of temper you wanted to have sex with.
It was a short-fused, red-faced, hate monster. Some of my readers may even remember me as “the crybaby”.
My other sin growing up: crying.
Crying like a leaky fucking faucet. I cried quickly. And for no reason.
Maybe it was for attention. I don’t know. I couldn’t quite control it.
One time in fifth grade, something happened that pissed me off. Whatever it was, I was sitting at my desk stewing for a few minutes. Quiet. Angry. At some point there was a call to action that I didn’t want to do. Like, get up and form a line to go to gym or something. I picked up a ruler and hit some innocent kid’s hand, because I clearly wanted to get my ass in trouble.
I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “Nobody likes a crybaby,” and “Get ahold of your temper. If you lose your temper, no one will like you.”
Now that I’m older, I still cry and I still lose my temper. But it’s more controlled. Kind of. I’m not sure what physiologically happens at times, but I can’t help it. “Logic” has nothing to do with any of it.
Around our house, we call it, “Blowing a gasket.”
Like when Talulah wants to go out, and we’re putting our shoes on and finding her leash, ball and Chuck-it, Talulah’s romping around excitedly. She chases her tail. She’s blowing a gasket howling like a pundit on FOX News.
Last night, I watched a bit of CNN and FOX News. I don’t even know where MSNBC is on my cable subscription. Believe me, I looked. FOX happens to be close to a movie station we have. I looked and looked for CNN and finally found it.
That’s all to say, I watched about an hour to an hour and a half of network “news” last night. And if I didn’t have a hold on my temper, I would get completely taken by the attempts by Piers Morgan, Hannity or Bill O’Reilly to yank only at my emotions. There’s no appeal on these shows to objective news.
The goal of these shows is to take hot-headed, dimbulbs like me and stir up my emotions until I take them into the public sphere and use their talking points as if they were mine.
That shit is a train wreck.
Hannity talked to Sarah Palin about foreign affairs. She clearly has no clue about any of it. She has talking points, and she knows some names. But she clearly has no idea what’s going on in Canada, let alone Egypt.
Bill O’Reilly talked to Laura Ingraham
toenail. These people aren’t talking calmly about Obama. They are searching for language and ideas that will stir up emotions that cause tempestuous action.
On Piers Morgan, Wolf Blitzer was sitting for the night. He was really no better than anyone else on this front. There’s no news, there are stupid people with crappy credentials getting asked softball questions like, “What do you think the administration should have done on Tuesday?” “Do you think Obama needed three sheets of toilet paper after that dump or four?” “What does four sheets say about Obama’s hate for global warming?”
After watching just minutes of their shows, my blood pressure was up, my face was getting red, my eyebrows were furrowed, and I could feel that old friend “Temper Tantrum” stirring up inside me.
Why? O’Reilly, Hannity, Palin, Ingraham, they’re all having a unified temper tantrum. It’s as if O’Reilly is getting his rocks off on Ingraham’s inability to stay calm. It excuses him from staying calm. He gets a chance to act pompous, because they’re both working from the same, uneducated, ignorant notes and they can both smooch and fondle each others privates without so much as touching either physically, but with their mental essence.
And some of the same people who told me no one likes people who lose their temper, they watch these “news” shows. They approve of these news shows, jampacked with lost tempers and heated word battles.
They’re right, no body likes a cry baby or a hot temper, unless it’s broadcast in HD with mounds of makeup, incendiary words and short-sighted logic.
If there’s one clear note the FOX hosts are scrambling to achieve, it’s to help Mitt Romney pull his head out of his own ass from the comments he’s made this week. And wow, Hannity, Palin and O’Reilly have no problem licking their fingers laden with Romney’s feces.
Why do I do that to myself?
You may be wondering why would I watch FOX or CNN if it’s going to get me riled up. And dear reader, I would ask those of you who watch that shit the same thing.
I watch it, because I like to remind myself that the information that people repeat in public and online are tokens of shit-burdened nonsense. Hannity and O’Reilly learned their rhetoric and delivery skills from kindergarten Sunday School teachers.
What do remedial teachers do in their classrooms that no other teachers do?
- They repeat notes, and repeat them often. Children don’t learn unless they are given the same information six-hundred different ways and back again. And when you’re talking to a FOX junky, it shows.
- They speak slowly, and avoid confusing words like, “integrity” and “research”. That I counted, Hannity said three times, “I don’t have time to show you where I pulled this information, but …” and then he told you what to think about it.
- They motivate their kids to action with juvenile games, graphics and lots of flashing colors and noises.
Maybe you want to watch that crap and get stirred up. Maybe you want to use that information as viable notes during your conversations at work and on your playgrounds.
Just remember, nobody likes a crybaby, short-tempered, emotionally driven person.
So cry and shout all you want.
The rest of us will move calmly forward.